I know I've seen that dress

Tonight, after a margarita and not much to eat, my friend and I went to the mall (she'd had a long island iced tea). We went to several shops (including the bookstore where we'd gone today during lunch, with me buying four books then) including Foleys.

When we were in Foleys we both took several dresses into the fitting room to try on. Well, she tried on this one dress that she wanted to buy. Here was our conversation:

Her: What do you think?
Me: I like it but you have one very similar to that, don't you?
Her: No.
Me: Yes you do. It's just like that one!
Her: No, I don't.
Me: Yes you do, I've seen it!
Her: (trying not to sound annoyed) No, I don't. I don't own a single dress with polka dots.
Me: (also trying not to sound annoyed because I can't understand why she's denying having a dress like the one she wants to buy) Yes, you do. (pause) I've seen it! You've worn it to work!
Her: No! I don't! I don't have any dresses with a belt either. (pause) I do have a dress with polka dots. I wore it yesterday.
Me: Not that one. You have one that looks like the one you're wearing now!
Her: (looking in the mirror) No I don't. (pausing, cocking her head to the side) You know, this kind of looks like the dress from Pretty Woman, doesn't it?
Me: (realizing THAT'S where I've seen the dress before) Um, yeah, it does. (pause) That might be where I've seen it before.

And here's the dress.....

Double Standards?

I've been reading the responses to my last entry and I started to respond and I realized that my response was more than a "comment"...it was its own blog entry - well, I think so anyway.

It started as a question of how it would impact a relationship if the woman made more than the man. The words "moocher" and "loser" came up. Exactly the words that came to my mind.

Then I started thinking...what about all the women who are stay at home wives and mothers? In fact, if I were married right now, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be working - in an office at least. I might be working full time on that first chapter of the book I keep re-writing (over and over and over again - most authors look forward to writing "the end"...I look forward to writing "chapter two", but I digress). I know that when I was married, I didn't work - by choice - a lot of the time. I figured I had "options" and I'd opted not to work - I wanted to be a housewife. My husband had no such options (except when his father was dying and I was the sole support for the better part of a year and a half - but I never had any misgivings about that, then or now).

Fact is, we live in a society that looks down on men who don't work, whether by choice or not. Women, on the other hand, have options. Those options are the only thing that make me think I might consider getting married again. But again, I wouldn't consider that my husband had the same options. Not only would he need to work, he'd need to make no less than I make because he'd have to be able to support me in the manner that I could support myself. And if he wanted to be able to do anything at all - ever - he'd need to make more than that so he could do things too. That's just how it is.

And our society supports that. Would a woman be referred to as moocher or a loser if she opted not to work? Probably not. Is it fair? I'd say no. Would I still quit my job if I were married?

In a heartbeat!

Starving Artists

This morning on the drive to work I was listening to my favorite DJ team (Roula and Ryan). The topic was women making more money than men...how does it affect the relationship - or does it?

A number of people called in with their opinions on the matter. (Personally I believe it was a contributing factor in my divorce (from his perspective) but I didn't call in.

But it did remind me of a dating relationship I was in about 10-11 years ago. I was taking college classes - my favorite of which was ceramics, which happens to be where I met this guy. This guy was an incredibly gifted artist. He could sculpt anything. I watched him do a bust of his cousin, touching his cousin's face and then feeling the clay under his hands and then molding it to where, when he was done, it looked exactly like his cousin - exactly like his cousin. (He also was a gifted painter but I didn't know that until we went out and I saw his paintings...but I'm jumping a bit ahead in the story.)

So this guy (whose name I can't remember now) asked me for my phone number. He was cute, he was talented, so I gave it to him. He called me a few days later and asked me out. I agreed to go out with him and he mentioned a transportation issue he was having so I offered to pick him up in my brand new car.

When I got to his house I saw that it needed some work. He was living in a trailer that had no porch or stairs so he basically had to pull me up in the front door to give me the "grand tour".

First thing I found out was that he didn't have running water. I see a few issues with that like, what does he do when he need to use the restroom and / or take a shower. And I asked him that. Basically he told me that if he just needs to pee, he goes out back and does his business. Anything more major and he would go to his neighbors or a nearby gas station. (Talk about your crappy neighbor! LOL) And he would hose himself down at the neighbors or ask to use their shower, as necessary.

I wasn't impressed so far (I also found out that he'd called me from a pay phone because he couldn't afford a phone either).

But we leave on our date...a movie.

We get to the theater and are getting out of the car when he announces, "Um, by the way, I don't have any money."

Inwardly I'm wondering WHY this didn't come up before this particular point in time. Outwardly, my non-confrontational self says, "That's okay. I'll pay for the tickets." And I did.

After the movie he asks me if I want to go get something to eat. Inwardly I'm thinking, "how stupid do I look? Did you get some money while we were at the movie???" Outwardly I said, "No, I ate before I picked you up, but thanks for asking."

I took him home and never saw him outside of class again.

So yeah, it was a bit of a problem that I made (so much) more than this guy. And as I said, I honestly believe it was a contributing factor (for my husband) in my divorce.

What about you? Do you think it makes a difference if the woman in the relationship makes more than the man? And why or why not?

Code Word Booby

I was blog hopping earlier and I came across an interesting post by Kim Amburn. It seems her young son was injured at school and when he was asked where he hurt, he told them his penis hurt. The mother was called and told this was unacceptable language - that he should refer to his penis as "down there" or his "private area".

She didn't get it, and neither do I. It's not like he was saying his dick was hurt or that his manhood was "throbbing". (Yeah I know...I'm groaning myself.)

I don't remember having these issues growing up. I don't remember having special names for "those" areas. (Although, my oldest sister says my mother told her to call her vagina her "tiny baby"...I didn't get that talk.)

I do, however, remember my niece coming over to my house for the weekend and my (ex) husband and I having a friend from work come by. She'd (the friend) brought her dogs and we were all in the backyard, seeing how my dogs would get along with her dogs. My doberman (male dog) hiked his legs to pee over something one of my friend's dogs peed on. When he did, my niece says "HE HAS A PECKER!" The adults all laughed that nervous laugh you have when you don't know what to say and said nothing.

So my niece repeated it. "HE HAS A PECKER." But that wasn't enough. She turned to my (ex) husband and said, "Do you have a pecker Uncle James?" I tried to calmly tell her that wasn't nice and to please stop saying that so she just got louder (that's just how she is). "MY DADDY HAS A PECKER. UNCLE JAMES, YOU HAVE TO HAVE A PECKER TOO. YOU DO HAVE A PECKER DON'T YOU?" This went on for a while...in front of our company.

Later that evening I called my sister, who told me, "She knew 'boys' had something different and I didn't know what to call it so I told her it was a pecker." And she laughed about it.

Personally, I'd rather it be called what it is...a penis. But that's just me.

Keeping the Reader in the Story

I did a book reading marathon this weekend, reading six books in three days and kind of a theme that followed (in hindsight, that is) was, keeping the reader in the story...what pulls you out.

Okay, so let me say upfront that I liked all the books but there were a couple of things that pulled me out of the story.

First I read Nancy Block's Once Upon a Pirate:

Here's what got to me with this book...The heroine falls through a hole in her home onto a pirate ship. She looks up to see the pirate and he has dark (black) chest hair with a little gray.

Anything jump out at you yet? The hero on the cover of the book has ZERO chest hair. None, zip, nada. Yet in the book it's referenced a number of times and the heroine enjoys running her hands through his chest hair.

Now, I know it's not at all the author's fault but every time there was a reference to his chest hair, I flipped over to the cover. Drove me nuts and pulled me out of the story.

Other than that, it was a fun time-travel book. (Think seasick pirate. ;o) )


Next I read Linda Barrett's Reluctant Housemates.

The issue I had with this book also had to do with the cover. The heroine in the story had short hair...as short as the hero's hair. Yet on the cover, the heroine's hair is down her back. Again, not the author's fault but it was a distraction. Other than that, I absolutely loved this book, as I have all of them in this series.


Next I read Debra Clopton's And Baby Makes Five:


This was my first ever Inspirational book. I met Debra at the airport in Houston, waiting to catch our flight to Atlanta. She was a very sweet woman with a distinct accent (and as such I heard every single one of her characters with that same accent).

My "problem" with this story was that, the book starts off with a pregnant, unmarried heroine - and no explanation. It shocked me, being that it was an inspirational book. You're well into the book before it is explained that she was married but her husband, not interested in being a father, left her as soon as he found out she was pregnant. Other than that, I really liked the book. Samantha was my favorite character. :o)


After that I read Shane Bolks' Reality TV Bites:

Only complaint was a secondary character, Rory. Shane's book, The Good The Bad and the Ugly Men I've Dated was not a favorite of mine (even though it was up for a Rita this year for best first book) because Rory was soooooooooo into Star Wars and I'm so not. She would make comments that would only make sense if you were a Star Wars fan and so I didn't get a lot of that book. So, having her in this book doing the same thing annoyed the heck out of me. Thankfully she wasn't in the book much. This was a fun book to read and I enjoyed it.


Next, I read Emily McKay's Surrogate and Wife:


The heroine looks very young on the cover. In the story she's a judge...who's afraid of losing her job because she's pregnant and unmarried. I might not have been bothered at all, if she didn't have the job/profession she did. Other than that, I really liked the book. I liked the way they built the relationship. Good book.


And lastly, I read Erica Spindler's Cause for Alarm:

Only beef was I couldn't read it fast enough. I love her books!


As I said, I enjoyed all the books but sometimes little things can stand out.

So, what sort of things pull you out of the story when you're reading a book?

New Favorite Book of All Time

Several years ago, in a Dallas airport, as I waited for my connecting flight, I read a couple of chapters of John Grisham's Skipping Christmas. I was reading a particular scene that tickled my funnybone immensely. I was in a public place and I couldn't stop laughing to save my life (seriously, I couldn't). Finally, after about five minutes of uninterrupted hysterical laughing, someone came up to me and said, "Excuse me. What are you reading?" Unable to stop laughing, I flashed the cover at them. Of course, John Grisham doesn't normally write funny books but this wasn't your typical Grisham book - it wasn't even remotely a thriller - so they just looked funny at me. When I continued to laugh, they commented that they might have to read it, since it was so funny.

The Red Hat Club Rides Again had me laughing so hard my sides hurt and tears were streaming down my face. And it wasn't just for one or two scenes. About eighty percent of the book had me laughing that hard (and Honey, if you're reading this, I did a LOT of snorting-laughing with this book). The other twenty percent of the book tugged at the heart strings though. It was a very touching book about friendships and loving your friends, no matter what. Friends for more than thirty years, these six women have been through it all together. Marriage, divorce, death, cancer, drug and alcohol addictions, and they are there for each other - no matter what (it's one of the "traditions"). And even though the women are in their fifties, the humor is ageless. The things happening are not age specific and could happen to anyone in their twenties or thirties or forties. It's a story about life and love.

If I had been reading this book in the Dallas airport, instead of Skipping Christmas, no doubt security would have been called in to subdue me.

The Red Hat Club Rides Again was such a fun read - I couldn't put it down. I can't recommend it highly enough. If you get an opportunity to read this book - DO IT! You won't regret it!

Meanwhile, this book whore has already ordered The Red Hat Club (Rides Again is the sequel), even though I still have a gazillion more books from Atlanta that I've not yet read. And I don't bear even the slightest regret or guilt. ;o)

Vamps

I picked up an autographed copy of Vamps and the City while in Atlanta and sat down today to read the follow up of How to Marry A Millionaire Vampire (which I made comments about here). I wasn't completely satisfied with the ending to How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire but Vamps and the City addressed the issues I was frustrated with. My frustration might compare to watching The Wizard of Oz and at the end when the good witch tells Dorothy she's always had the power to go home, if they stopped the movie there and rolled the credits. You'd be wondering "did Dorothy figure out what to do? Did someone tell her? Did she make it home? What happened?"

Of course, having the "wrap-up" in another book would be like later telling the Scarecrow's story and, indirectly, letting the reader know that Dorothy made it home okay - and how.

But it was done in Vamps and the City without being intrusive into this story. I really liked this book. Even Gregori "I'm too sexy for my fangs" was in it and still as adorable as ever. :o)

Now for the blurb:

Who says a vamp can't have it all?

Darcy Newhart thought it was a stroke of genius -- the first-ever reality TV show where mortals vie with vampires for the title of The Sexiest Man on EArth. As the show's director, Darcy's career would be on track again. And she can finally have a life apart from the vampire harem. Okay, so she's still technically dead, but tow out of three's not bad. Now she just has to make sure that a mortal doesn't win. If only she wasn't so distracted by a super-sexy and live contestant named Austin...

But Darcy doesn't know the worst of it. Austin Erickson is actually a vampire slayer! And he's got his eye on the show's leggy blond director. Only problem is, he's never wanted any woman--living or dead--as badly. But if he wins her heart, will he lose his soul? And if it means an eternity of hot, passionate loving with Darcy, does that really matter anyway?

15 Things I learned in Atlanta

15. Burger King does not sell alcohol (okay, I knew that going in but apparently the other parties in the car didn't)

14. You can be a multi-published, big name author and still be a nice person

13. You can be an unpublished nobody and still be a snot

12. The fact that there are plenty of free books for everyone doesn't mean you won't get trampled as you head for the one book you don't have (apologies to all I may have hurt in my endeavors)

11. One can never have too many books

10. No amount of perfume will cover up the fact that you haven't bathed in four days

9. Not all perfume smells good

8. If the elevator doors open, regardless of the direction it's going, if it has room for you to get in, GET ON THE ELEVATOR

7. Pressing up against the elevator panel can result in your ass pressing the emergency button

6. Your ass pressing the emergency button will result in the elevator stopping, doors opening and an alarm to sound

5. Someone can attend ONE workshop and determine that the whole conference sucks

4. Everyone else can attend the same workshop and think it was the best workshop offered

3. You can learn a lot by hanging out in the bar (some would say this just applies to RWA Conferences but I may have to do some "research" before I reach a determination on that point ;o) )

2. One not used to wearing a cell phone on their hip can freak out the first time it vibrates, assuming they're dying (they'll later pay people to call them but that's another story)

And the number one thing I learned in Atlanta.....

1. Tiara or no tiara, Melissa Francis is one of the warmest, most genuine people you can hope to meet (even though she called me a bitch and told me she hated me...I know she really she loves me)

Hungry Dogs

I came home from Atlanta to an empty kitchen. And by empty I mean no food. So I stopped by the grocery store after work yesterday to restock my kitchen.

Among the items I bought were my muffins. I have a 5-point muffin every morning. I love those muffins. I look forward to those muffins. I dream about those muffins. They are what keep me going.

Did I mention that my dogs love those muffins too? I'm sometimes bad about putting away my groceries though. I'll put away what absolutely HAS to be put away and then leave the rest for later. But I've learned that certain things (like my muffins) need to be put WAY out of reach of my dogs, otherwise they "disappear" in the night. (Literally!)

Well, last night was a lazy night and I only put away what HAD to be put away and totally forgot about the muffins.....totally! So when I got up this morning, looking forward to having a muffin, they're gone.

My dogs were dancing at my feet, waiting for their morning treat, and I'm digging through the bags looking for my muffins (and cussing because I know I'm not going to find them - at least not inside the house).

I went outside (I have a doggy door for my dogs, in case you didn't know) and sure enough, there were the remains of my muffins. While I was asleep, my dogs drug the muffins outside and ate them. Thus proving the saying, "You snooze, you lose." *sigh*


Okay, I just remembered that the books I shipped home were there when I got home last night with my groceries. I was so excited and now that I really think about it, I'm probably very lucky that my WW ice cream isn't melted all over my kitchen floor. So, my apologies to my dogs for all the bad names I was calling them...it's really more my fault than theirs. But dang, I really wanted my muffin this morning. :(

Excuse me, Adult Beverage Please?

Go here for the scoop on Mel and SEP (Mel admitted it and there were witnesses).

Okay, with that out the way...

After several weather-related flight delays, I made it to Atlanta about 5:00 p.m. Tuesday afternoon. My roommate had rented a car and we'd picked up another chaptermate at the airport so there were three of us headed to the hotel. JoAnne (the other chaptermate) had asked if we could stop by a liquor store to get her some alcohol (to help her sleep...at least that was the "official" story). We said we would.

Meanwhile, a friend of mine was scheduled to have surgery on Wednesday and I hadn't gotten to talk to her Monday so I was trying to call her all morning Tuesday (while we waited for the danged plane!) without success. So Tuesday, as we're headed to the hotel, I finally reach her and I'm telling her about the events of the morning when the car I'm in pulls into a shopping strip parking lot. I assume we've found a liquor store but instead we pull into the drive thru of a McDonald's or Burger King or something, anyway... They pull up and order two cokes (I'd said I didn't want anything), which is fine but I was a little confused - didn't we want alcohol??? But I was on the phone, so I said nothing. These women pull up to the window and say - I swear this is what they said - "Do you know where we can get some alcohol?"

I wish I could have gotten a picture of the poor girl's face when they asked for liquor at a drive thru window! Poor girl probably thought I was on the phone trying to score some drugs from my dealer. Seriously, what kind of lush thinks they can get alcohol at a drive thru? LOL

Probably not the best impression to make in a new city. Welcome to Atlanta!

Oh, and we never did find the alcohol. *sigh*