My Sweet Max

I lost my sweet Max this past February 13th.  It was one day shy of his 13th birthday (according to his mother's owner, February 14th was his actual birthday - not a made up date).

He was only a couple of months old when I got him.  I used to say he came with the house because he was born about a week before I moved in and it was only a few weeks before him and his brothers and sisters would sneak through the holes in my fence line to come visit.

Max stood out from the others because while all the other dogs would jump on me, claw and nibble on me, Max would sit at the back patiently as if to say "I know you're busy but when you have a minute . . . "  I would pick up the other dogs and hold them to my chest and they would fidget and scratch me to get down but I would pick up Max and he would snuggle down as if it was where he wanted to be.

I had wanted to talk to his mother's owner about buying Max but I had just bought a house and was a little concerned about finances so had put it off.  Then one day I decided to bite the bullet.  Max and his brothers and sisters had stopped by and I picked up Max and brought him into my house, separating him from his brothers and sisters.  Once we got in the house he started fidgeting in a "stranger danger" kind of way like he wasn't comfortable being separated from his brothers and sisters.  I tried to make him feel comfortable when I noticed out the window his mother's owner was calling all the dogs back from my yard.  Apparently he was counting them as they came back and noticed that one was missing.  I ran outside with Max, apologized for "snatching" him and told him I wanted to buy him, if he'd let me.  He told me no charge and passed him back to me.  And that's how I came to have my sweet baby.

Shortly after I got him a friend of mine gave me a wading pool for him.  He loved that pool.  He'd jump into it and "dig" in it to splash water onto his tummy.  On occasion he'd sit in the pool.  And I'm pretty sure I saw him lay down in it at least once.  He was so cute in it.

Then back in 2005 we had a hurricane headed towards this area (it turned before it hit land so we were minimally affected, as it turned out).  I had tried to evacuate but couldn't get out of town due to horrible traffic and ended up staying with a friend of mine who had a full size, inground pool.  Max had never seen that kind pool before so the first time I took him into the backyard to do his business I watched as he tried to figure it out.  At home he had to step up over the edge to get in but this body of water was at ground level.  He pawed at it a few times before he stepped into (before I could stop him).  He was used to stepping into 4 or 5 inches of water and found himself completely submerged in this new body of water.  I could see the complete horror on his face as he worked his way to get his head back above water.  When it happened I was horrified but when I think of the look on his face now, knowing that he survived the ordeal, it's kind of amusing . . . bless his heart.  :)  The next time I took him out I had to watch him because I could just imagine the thoughts he had about it . . . "okay, it's deep but after I figured it out, it really wasn't that bad.  I think I should do it again."  Of course I stopped him and he never went back in but it was an experience for him. 

When I got Max I had a doberman named Cleo.  Cleo (bless her heart) had bladder control issues so I had to restrict her from getting on the furniture.  As a result Max was also restricted from getting on the furniture.  He learned at a young age that getting on the furniture was by invitation only.  After Cleo died and I got Brewsky and Harley, they would jump up on the furniture without invitation but Max still wouldn't.  Now, to be clear, if he wanted up on the furniture he would make it known, in no uncertain terms.  He would whine and bark until he got an invitation, even if it meant he had to wake me up to get that invitation.  He was very persistent.  The rare exception to that would be if it was storming outside and he was too freaked out to wait for the invitation, even then he would usually wait to be invited up on the furniture.

It has been suggested that I get a crate for Max when I got him.  And I did.  I would put him in the crate when I was at work (I'd come home at lunch) and I felt so guilty.  I hated doing that to him so to make me feel a little better, I would give him a treat when I put him in and I'd give him another one when I let him out . . . every time.  I only used the crate for a short while but the "need" to give him a treat when I left the house continues to this day (with Harley).  I stopped the "I'm home" treat a few years ago (Max tried to get me to continue it for a long time after I decided to stop that one).  If I didn't give him a treat when I left the house, he thought that meant he got to go with me (he also thought if he rejected the treat that that meant he got to go with me too, but he was wrong about that :) ).

Max was always a good traveler.  He liked to go places in the car.  I learned early on though that for long trips I couldn't feed him beforehand because he did get car sick and throw up.  But for the short trips around town he was good.  He liked to rest his head on the window ledge (?), close his eyes and let the wind blow on his face.  Typically his favorite side of the car was the passenger side but whenever I would go through a drive thru of any kind, he'd nonchalantly wander over to the driver's side car like he'd decided he wanted a change of scenery or something.  Then, when I'd pull up to the window he'd start barking like a possessed dog at whoever had the misfortune of helping me with whatever I was getting.  It was comical to see their reactions to his outbursts but I never could hear anything they would be saying to me over his barking.  It was pretty funny though.

I took Max to obedience training when he was a puppy.  Max had a bad habit of jumping on people when they came to visit and she got him to stop in two instances of walking over to him.  It was amazing how well it worked.  The only time after that he ever jumped on anyone, he warned them first.  How?  He'd come over to say hello.  If you didn't pet him immediately he would sit in front of you.  If you still didn't pet him he would start whining.  If you STILL didn't pet him, he would bark.  If you didn't pet him after that, he'd jump on you to let you know he wanted your attention.  Can't say you weren't warned first.  :)

There are so many other stories I could share with about Max and why I loved him so much (and why I will miss him so much) but I think this captures his essence.  He was such a sweet dog and it's still so hard to believe he's gone.

Max
February 14, 2001 - February 13, 2014

 

Note: Due to technical difficulties I wasn't able to post more pictures.  If I can resolve the issues, I will update post to include more pictures of this sweet dog.

June Book Review

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@Barrie Summy

I'm posting this early because I really want to participate and share about a great book I recently read. 

The book I am reviewing this month is Love Life by Rob Lowe.  I had previously reviewed Rob's first book Stories I Only Tell My Friends (here).  I really enjoyed his first book but I think his second book is better.  Before I went back and read my review, if you'd asked me about his first book I would have told you it wasn't an easy read but it was definitely worth reading.  I couldn't remember specifically what made it a difficult read but when I read the review, I remembered.  With the first sentence I was confused as to whether he was telling a story or whether someone was telling a story about him.  Then once I got past that he seemed removed from the stories to where, in my head, he was narrating a E! True Hollywood Story vs. actually sharing stories with the readers.

In Love Life Rob seems to have worked out the writing issues I had with his first book.  It's definitely more conversational with a feel that an old friend is sharing stories.  I should mention that I read some of the reviews after I read the book and some people were disappointed that it wasn't a scandalous tell-all book.  Others were disappointed that it didn't discuss more of his romantic encounters.  Fact told, I thought it would have more romance stories based on the title and I don't think he discusses romance in this book outside of his love affair with his wife, I'm actually okay with that - they weren't needed.

Now, about the writing . . . in the beginning he told a couple of stories where he chose not to share names.  I don't remember the stories being scandalous or particularly embarrassing for anyone so I didn't get why the names weren't shared.  I kind of felt like if he wasn't going to share the names, he shouldn't have included the stories.  These were at the beginning of the book and concerned me that it was going to be a long, hard read if he did that with all his stories but I needn't have worried.  There's also a passage towards the end of the book (next to last chapter I think) where he starts talking about his wife.  It seems like an incoherent, rambling that has no point.  It stops suddenly and the next chapter starts.  It was kind of weird.  Other than that, I had no issues with his writing.

As for the stories he shares . . . it's funny because as I was reading it, I knew I wanted to review it and kept thinking "I'll share this in the review".  I thought that enough times that if I shared everything I liked about the book and found funny, I would basically be retelling his entire book, in my own words.  :)

Having said that, I do want to touch on a few that deserve mentioning.  The first one I'll mention has to do with his time in rehab.  He was in rehab with a famous athlete (whose name he changed in the story to protect his anonymity).  During his stay, the athlete had a major break through that Rob shared.  It was beautifully told.  It was powerful and gut-wrenching . . . I was crying as I read it.  That said, I felt it wasn't his story to tell.  Now, I do understand WHY he told it because it had such an impact on Rob and has a lot to do with why and how he maintains his own sobriety but I still feel it was inappropriate for Rob to share that particular story.

But the stories that were his to share . . . he tells this hysterical story about how he wants to create a memory for his kids, all while having a little fun at their expense.  His family and his sister-in-law and her family all took a vacation up the west coast in an RV.  Rob thinks it will be funny to tell them stories about Bigfoot and create a "sighting" for the kids.  He's gotten a Bigfoot costume for it and everything.  Only, when the time comes things don't go quite as he had planned.  For example, he hadn't tried on the suit before and it was a really tight fit.  He had to rub up against the trees to secure the velcro on the back of the suit that closed it up.  The eye slits were no where near where his eyeballs were so he was flying blind.  Best of all, his oldest son (about 7 at the time) realized it wasn't really Bigfoot and thought it was some college person trying to scare them so kicked him in an area no man ever wants to be kicked in.  I was laughing so hard as I read the story that I had to put the book down several times while I collected myself again to read the next misfortune awaiting Rob.  I barely touch on it here.  Priceless.

Personally, I've always considered Rob to be a movie star.  I know he's starred on The West Wing (which I've never seen), Parks and Recreation (which I've also never seen) and Brothers and Sisters (which I have seen) but I thought of those as one-offs that he's done while I guess I thought he was waiting for suitable movie scripts.  In this book he talks about series that he's done that I had no idea about (and for reasons I'll go into a little here).  Did you know he was offered the part that Patrick Dempsey got in Grey's Anatomy?  At the time he had a verbal agreement to star in a show titled Dr. Vegas.  Nothing had been signed though so he could've done either at that point.  He talked to people and thought about it, it would seem in great detail.  He felt that on the surface Grey's Anatomy had the better script but conceptually, Dr. Vegas had much more potential.  Grey's Anatomy was going to be broadcast on the flailing ABC network who hadn't successfully launched a drama in more than a decade.  Dr. Vegas was going to be aired on a network that had a longstanding success rate with dramas.  He decided to go with Dr. Vegas, which never made it to air.  Meanwhile, Grey's Anatomy just wrapped its 10th season.

He also did a show called Lyon's Den.  The first script was fantastic.  Great concept, great potential.  Then, when he talks about the second script I have an image in my head of him calling the writers asking if they'd sent him the wrong script because it doesn't go with what they started in the first script.  He doesn't say anything remotely like that in his book, it's just how I imagine it in my head.  Anyway, he voices his concerns but ultimately does what he's told, against his better judgment.  By the time the show actually airs, they've filmed 6 episodes.  I didn't know this but apparently one hour shows get ratings feedback per half hour so that they can see if viewers turned in because of who was on the show and whether they were able to keep the audience through the second half hour.  Because of this they know after the first show that they didn't keep the viewers interested and the show is pulled.  BUT, they've contracted to film 13 episodes so they have to keep filming for a show that's not only been cancelled but is no longer even airing.  What this does, however, is allow them the freedom to really get creative with the last few shows.  Rob goes into detail about how they ended the series and I, again, put down the book so that I could see if I could rent the series from Netflix.  Unfortunately they don't have it but I may find it somewhere else.

In the end, I felt that Rob opened up a lot more in this book and shared more of who he is.  I really feel like I know him better than I did before - and I like him better for it.  His love and devotion to his family is very evident in this book.  If you're looking for a scandalous type tell-all book, this isn't it.  But if you're looking for an enjoyable, laugh-til-your-sides-hurt book, I think you'll really like this one.  I highly recommend it.

January Book Review

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@Barrie Summy

 

 

It's hard to believe that's it's already 2014 and time for another book review!  I'm going to review two books this month.  One was reviewed last month (because apparently I've started a "I'll read what they're reading" club) and the other is one that I've been really excited about its release.

(Note: I'm currently having difficulties uploading the book covers.  Sorry.)

Starting with the book from last month the first book I'm reviewing is One for the Murphys by Lynda Mullaly Hunt - the original review can be read here.  The story is about Carley Connors, a twelve year old girl that has found herself in the foster care system, placed with the Murphys.  It's told from the point of view of Carley.

Back in 1999 I went to a local adoption agency to see about adopting and/or fostering a child.  We had to go through a 12-week program so that we could be in a position to understand what we would be getting ourselves into and so we could understand where the children were coming from.  One of the exercises that was most powerful for me was one where we were all given 5 slips of paper and told to write the five most important things on them - one per page.  Once we had done this we were told we had to immediately give one up - decide which one and they would collect it from us.  Then we had to place the remaining 4 slips of paper face up on the table as they came and looked at them and took another away from us.  Then we had to have them face down and close our eyes and they kept taking the slips of paper from us until we didn't have any slips of paper left.  The exercise evoked a lot of emotions from the participants, including but not limited to "that's mine you can't have it!", and we weren't really having anything taken from us, it was just symbolic.  But it really brought home what these kids go through when they're taken from their homes and placed with strangers - even if it's in their best interest.  They have no control and they lose so much and they're so vulnerable but they don't want to show that because they're wounded beings.

The author did an excellent job of capturing the vulnerability and letting us see what Carley was going through.  The Murphys home was different than what she was used to - it was a happy home - but she didn't want to let them in because as soon as she did, she was afraid she'd be removed from the home and have to start all over.  Mrs. Murphy was patient with her and really wanted to have an impact on her life - and did.  The building of the relationship between Carley and the Murphys seemed natural and not forced by the author.  It is a beautiful story and beautifully told.  I think the other reviewer mentioned that it would make you cry, and it did make me cry.  Sob actually to the point I literally had to put the book down at one point, collect myself and blow my nose before I could continue reading.  But in a good way.

Having said that, there were a couple of things that bothered me.  The first being that the way it was presented, Mrs. Murphy went to Children's Services and said she wanted a child and since Carley had just entered their system, they gave her to Mrs. Murphy.  As I mentioned, I had to go through a 12-week program, followed by a background check and home study as a pre-requisite to even being considered as an adoptive of foster parent so I think that might have been lacking some research on the author's part.  Obviously they may do things differently in different areas of the country but I don't think they just hand over kids because people say they want to foster a child.  The other thing I'll mention here is that at one point Carley called the social worker and said she wanted to leave the Murphys house so the social worker paid a visit.  Mrs. Murphy was surprised by the visit and asked the social worker if this was standard practice. The social worker said no.  Going back to my situation, there were regular check-ups as well as random visits so that they could see the circumstances the child would be/was living in.  And it's worth noting that the 12-week program I went through did not only include the one agency I was working with but rather it included several area agencies so the practices weren't exclusive to the one agency.

But while that bothered me some, it doesn't take away from the story itself.  One for the Murphys is a book I highly recommend without reservation.

Okay, the other book I'm reviewing this month is Keep Calm and Carry a Big Drink by Kim Gruenenfelder.  This is a follow up to her book There's Cake in my Future which I reviewed here.  It picks up with Mel, Seema and Nic about a year later.  They're getting ready for Seema's wedding and are once again having a cake pull with charms that supposedly predict your future.  As with the last cake pull, Nic had rigged the cake so that her, Seema and Mel would get the fortunes they wanted.  This time they weren't taking any chances though so just before Seema's bridal shower, they all tested the placement of their charms by pulling them out and putting them back into the cake, which Nic smoothed over before the shower. 

Once again something happened and they all got the wrong charms.  Mel had wanted the passport charm, which means travel but instead she got the money tree, which means financial security for the rest of your life.  (Personally I think I'd prefer the money tree because you could still probably travel but you're guaranteed financial security, but that's just me.)  Last time Mel had gotten the "hot sex" charm and while she didn't believe in the charms, she did her best to make it come true. 

This time, since she again didn't get the charm she wanted, she decided to take fate into her own hands and be in charge of what happens.

In the last book the story was told from the perspective of each of the friends in alternating chapters.  This time it was told solely from Mel's point of view.  I think this may have been because the author possibly thought Seema's and Nic's journeys were complete and didn't need further first person telling.  And while I would agree that Mel had more of a story to complete, I was a bit disappointed that it was strictly told from her point of view.

That said, I really enjoyed the book.  The take away - for me - from the book is that it's important to follow your own dreams, despite what anyone else says or thinks.  If you're open, you just might find happiness.  :)

So, both good books.  Both worth reading.