Seriously. Think about it.
You're driving down a winding road, down a hill, in a mudslide and lose control of your car. It goes off the edge of the cliff and your car goes up in flames. But your body is never found. That is, until you show up at your husband's (he thought you were dead) wedding, right after the minister has pronounced them man and wife.
Did I mention that the intervening years didn't prove a financial hardship either? Despite the fact that you had no money on you and never accessed your trust fund (well actually, you couldn't because before the fire was put out on the car, your loving family had divvied up your assets).
Or, if you were a particularly awful person before the car went up in flames, you lose your memory and come back as a sweet, kind, generous, giving person - and everyone accepts you.
You're offered jobs, hand over fist. And none of them expect you to work more than six hours a year, five of which are spent fighting with your arch enemy, who, of course, shares your cubicle. But never fear, if the boss complains, you buy the company and fire their hineys.
Then there's the facts of life. Kids are a gift from God. As such, they are perfect from the beginning. They sleep through the night and apparently are self sufficient from birth, as mommy and daddy galavant around town, never hiring a sitter. And as they approach the terrible twos, they aren't seen for a couple of weeks and are miraculously aged into their teen years, potty-trained and all. Not that being potty-trained was a problem, since soap babies never make a poopy diaper.
And murder. Where else can you kill a man in cold blood, admit it to the first officer on the scene and never see the inside of a court room? And if you do get as far as a court room, the right accessories can get you off of any crime.
But don't worry if you're the murder victim because, despite the fact that we saw you die on the operating table, watched as you were cremated and your remains scattered in the ocean, tomorrow is another day and death will never be final as long as there are rating sweeps to win.
3 comments:
Have you ever seen that movie, Soapdish? It's hilarious (at least it was to me many years ago). Kevin Klein's character is brought back after being decapitated in a car accident. I think they just claimed his head was sewn back on or something. LOL!
LOL, I'd forgotten about that. That's it exactly!
And I forgot to mention that even though you just had mind blowing sex and slept the rest of the night, when you wake up in the morning your hair and make up are still perfect? Not to mention that dust doesn't exist in soap opera land, all houses are always immaculate (even those with small children but I guess since you don't see the children, you wouldn't see their mess ;o) ).
Well, in that case (immaculate house and perfectly behaved children), I definitely want to live in Soap land. Although...how would I find anything without my mess? :)
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