Do you ever read a book that just annoys you to no end? That you wonder what the author was thinking when they wrote it and the publisher when they bought it? I feel like I've run in a few too many of those of late. But, I don't like to diss particular authors on my blog so I'm just going to make a list of things that annoy me. Feel free to add your own. :~)
1. If your story is a murder mystery, don't introduce the killer on page 347 of your 360 page (including epilogue) novel. Saying on page 107 "Remember that time Eunice got upset with Doris because she thought the boy was looking at her at the third grade picnic?" does not count as an introduction to a character when said boy is not identified by name, or description and not mentioned again until page 347, when it's revealed he's the killer.
2. Also, if writing a murder mystery, it's good to keep the reader guessing but when they reach the last page of a story and they still are wondering who the hell the killer is, something's wrong - and it's not with the reader. I may be dense but when you have to email the author and ask who the killer is and you still don't get/see it, there's a problem. S-P-E-L-L I-T O-U-T! There's your clue!
3. If you're writing a series, each book should be a stand-alone. Nothing pisses me off more than to get to the end of a book only to realize that resolution won't happen until later in the series. I won't know how it's resolved either because I will not be forced to buy another book to find out! You will have lost me for any other books you've written too because, I may not always remember who the best authors are, but I never forget an author who has pissed me off. I also don't want to be forced to read the story in a particular order. I want to be able to pick up any book in the series and be able to follow the action. If you don't know how this is done, go read the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich.
4. Also in a series, do not introduce characters into the story in book one and make them pivotal characters if you're not going to deal with them until book three (see comment 3 above).
5. I read to escape. I want to be swept up in the fantasy. If I wanted to read something depressing, I'd subscribe to the newspaper. There doesn't have to be a hero / heroine traditional happily ever after but if I get to the end of the story and want to slit my own wrists, it's not good. Give the reader some hope.
6. No means no. I'm sorry but I cannot suspend disbelief when a woman says she doesn't want to have sex but the man "has his way" anyway. That's not an alpha male in my book, that's a rapist. As I read the rest of the book, I'll be wondering what message the author wanted to send by making a rapist the hero of her story. It will also likely be the last book of yours I'll read.
7. I don't write many "fan" emails to authors so if I write you one, it means I really LOVED your book and will be on the lookout for more of your books. It's not necessary to respond and plug your next book - I probably would've bought it anyway if I liked the one enough to write you. But, since I don't like pushy sales people, you just made me less likely to pick it up.
8. I know that bad things happen in life but I don't want to read about them (see comment 5 above) in your book. It is never necessary to be cruel to animals in a book. Do it once and I might be able to look the other way. Do it repeatedly and you will not only lose me as a reader, but anyone else I can influence.
9. If you're writing a comedy, tell more than one joke. What was funny on page 15 is not going to be funny if told again on page 16 and 17 and 18 and 19 and..... Lots of things can be funny. Be creative.
10. Be original. If you have to steal from another author, hang it up. This also goes for your own stories. If all you've done is superimpose new names over the characters of your last story, it's not good. I've heard there are no new stories and I'm easy enough to fool that it's a new story but you're gonna have to do more than change names.
Anyway, those are a few of my writing pet peeves. What annoys you?
4 comments:
I can't think of any you didn't cover! BTW, great blog.
Too much backstory in the first few pages tops my list. I don't want to know everything the heroine did in the 3rd grade in the first chapter and how that affected who she turned out to be, all while she's getting dressed. Sorry, ya lost me and I don't care to read more. Nothing has happened, so why should I think anything more will happen in the rest of the book?
Secret babies annoy me. Be a woman and hunt down the man that got you pregnant. He deserves to know, even if he doesn't stick around. Don't just "oh poor me, I'm pregnant and he left me! Oh well, I'll raise the baby all alone..." *rolls eyes*
Finally, too stupid to live heroines. If the bad guy is coming after you, find something - anything- to use as a weapon and bash him over the head. Don't run screaming into the night, trip, fall, have the hero rescue you in some amazing dare-devil way. *thud* (that was the sound of the book hitting the wall)
I know these are all pet peeves of everyone, but they really get me! Great topic Lucy!
I love your list - you covered a lot of my pet peeves.
I hate when you're in the middle of action or dialogue, and suddenly you're thrown into backstory for awhile before coming back into the moment. For instance, one character asks another a question, and before answering, they think (for the next 7 pages) about a trauma in their childhood that will effect their answer. Then they answer the question and you're thinking Huh? You've forgotten the question since it was practically in the last chapter! Drives me nuts! Stay in the moment writers! LOL. Reflection is for later, not in the middle of a conversation or speed chase.
Also, I was recently SO disappointed when one of my used-to-be favorite regency authors spent 3 of the 5 cd's of the audiobook on foreplay. If sex is part of the relationship growth and well-written, then great, but to me it's a major insult to think the reader needs constant sex to keep them interested - especially in lieu of an interesting plot.
Good blog, L!
Good adds Aura and Ellen.
Jessica Trapp gave a workshop about having action/dialogue and breaking up to where the reader forgets where you left off. She called it scattering, Ellen. I didn't think of that one when I wrote my list but it's a biggie for me too. I may have to go back and read a few pages to figure out what's going on but I'm less likely to go back and buy your next book.
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