Can men and women be just friends? I don't know exactly what brought this thought to mind. It could have been that I watched When Harry Met Sally last weekend. It could have been the Roula & Ryan's Roses from a couple of weeks ago where the boyfriend sent roses to a woman he said was "just a friend". It could be the comments my boss made recently to me. Who knows?
Anyway, I've been kind of pondering this question in my head for a week or so now. I work in an environment where it's mostly men. One side of the hallway is described as the "more mature" hallway. The other side is the "fresh out of college" hallway.
The "mature" side of the hallway consists of men my age and older, all married - once - for a lot of years. The other hallway is young pups, all experiencing the real world for the first time. I get along with all of them but I find that I'm more comfortable with the more mature side of the hallway. Not because I'm closer in age to them but because I'm more comfortable with married men. I feel less threatened by them for some reason. I feel I can joke and tease them and not have them think I am making a play for them. I know I'm probably wrong about that but, for whatever reason, I'm more comfortable around married men.
Now, let me say this, I had a husband that ran around on me and I promised myself that I would never, intentionally, make another woman feel the way I felt when I found out what my husband was doing. Married men as prospective dates is not an option for me. Someone who would cheat WITH me would cheat ON me. Sorry, been there (being cheated on - not with), done that, not interested in a repeat. And if I learn that a friendship I have with a married man makes his wife uncomfortable, that ends it for me because I don't want to be the cause of any marital strife. I'd mourn the friendship but, in the big picture, marriage trumps friendship. That's just how it is. I know that's not how everyone treats things but that's how it has to be for me.
So my question to you is, how would you feel if your husband or significant other had a close friend of the opposite sex? Would you be okay with it or would you feel threatened? Or would you feel someting else entirely? And if so, what? Inquiring minds want to know.
3 comments:
Well, we both do have good friends of the opposite sex. My best friend from College is getting married this fall (we were friends before I got married), and Fishdog is still friends with several girls from grade school. And he has another close friend who is female in Mississippi. And we all get along just fine. Absolutely men and women can be friends.
I honestly wouldn't have married him if he had tried to dictate that Nick couldn't stay in my life. Now Nick is one of Fishdog's closest friends and he's one of the kids' godfathers. And I don't think Fish would've married me if I had told him he couldn't stay friends with the girls he's known he entire life.
Some people just do better with the opposite sex, friend wise. Fishdog and I are both those people. I think we're lucky!
btw: he dated 2 of the girls he's close to. It's never been an issue for me.
I think it would depend on the woman. Chris has had several female friends, especially co-workers - they go to lunch, etc. and that's fine with me. There have been a couple whom I don't care for and I was a bit bugged then. But, likewise, I have a few male friends that Chris accepts. I do think men and women can be just friends.
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