Curbside pickup

 I don't know exactly when I learned about curbside pickup but I'm certain I didn't really understand how it worked until at least the summer of 2020, during the pandemic.  Once I discovered it I found that I love it!  It's so easy to just drive up and get your order.

Of course, like anything else, there are pros and cons to curbside pickup.  A pro is that you don't end up with the impulse buys you might end up with if you did the shopping yourself.  A con is that if you forget to include something you need on your order, you're not going to be in the store to see it and have that "aha" moment and end up getting what you need.  Another con is that I've ended up with items I wouldn't have bought if I'd done the shopping myself.  An example would be leafy greens.  I believe it was collard greens.  I ordered a leafy green and what I was sent home with looked like something that was one day away from needing to be thrown out - if that.  Right now I have a sweet potato that came with a good chunk of one end of it that needs to be cut off because it's not good.  And then there are the substitutions.  Most are okay but some are like "how did you come up with that from what I ordered?"

But with all that said, the thing that really bothers me is the grocery bag situation.  The place I get my groceries recently started offering to bag the groceries at the car, if you bring your own reuseable bags - which I do.  The number of bags I have has dwindled some because they've been abused by sackers.  I think I have 9 left, which usually is enough for my orders.

The problem is that these people seem to be trained to overstuff the bags for some reason.  I take all my bags with me and get home to find four are stuffed so full that there is a risk the straps will tear when I lift it.  The other five will be empty.  I mean, what is the point in that?  I've started telling people when they bring my groceries out to fill as many as possible.  I forgot to tell the person that today and she left me with I believe three empty bags.  Meanwhile, my bread was just thrown in the trunk without being put in a bag.  Like, what's up with that?

Now, the thing is, if I hadn't checked that I was bringing my own bags and they had bagged them in the store, I would have my groceries divided into 75 different bags instead of the four they crammed them into at the car!  

Maybe it's just me but I wish there was a happy medium here!  Just saying!

Medication Advertisements

 I record most things I want to watch so that I can watch them at a later time, fast forwarding through the commercials. 

But every now and then I catch a commercial advertising some drug.  I usually miss what the medication is for but hear the long list of possible side effects, and wonder if the side effects are worth what it supposedly helps.

To put it in perspective, years ago I had a dog that was allergic to everything.  He was on a medication that had a low dose steroid in it, as well as an anti-histamine.  Even though it was a low dose steroid, over time it caused issues and I had to take them off of them and try something else to help with his allergies.

The first "drug" a "specialist" prescribed for him almost killed him and I took him off of it.  So the specialist prescribed something else for him - a people medication that's used when a person has an organ transplant.

The side effects listed were mostly standard, nausea, diarrhea, constipation, etc.  It also could cause "severe" headaches, which I didn't like because it wasn't like he could tell me his head hurt.  But the one that was a deal breaker for me (even though I had already paid an obscene amount for the drug when I found out) was that it can cause cancer.  Cancer!

I mentioned that this was to treat his allergies, right?  Yeah.  I wasn't going to run the risk of giving my dog cancer, just so his allergies wouldn't bother him!  That was a side effect that wasn't worth the risk to me.

But back to the commercial ads for drugs.  One day I caught what the drug being pushed was for and what else they told you you would have to do while taking the drug.

The drug "helps" prevent HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.  You have to test negative for the virus to take the drug and then have to get tested every few months to be sure you still don't have it and to monitor your organ functioning because it can cause kidney damage and failure - including death, among other things.  But here's the thing that made me wonder who comes up with this stuff - it says to practice safe sex while you're on the drug, using condoms.

Um, wouldn't that help prevent getting the virus too?  And it causes no threat to your organs and life.  So, why is the drug needed?

Maybe it's just me but that falls in the category of the risk of the side effects aren't worth the potential benefits - especially considering you can achieve the same results in other, much safer, ways.

Yet, I'm sure there are people that see that and call their doctors, asking to prescribe the drugs for them . . . just to be safe.  Crazy!

Book Review - Friends Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing

 

I stayed up until almost 2:00 a.m. last night to finish reading Matthew Perry's autobiography.  It was very compelling reading.  But in the interest of full disclosure, I hadn't intended to read his book at all.  I've always liked him in the roles he played but I didn't think I wanted to read a book about addiction.  Plus, when he did his interviews when the book came out, he looked like he was in need of a bath - in all of them because his hair always looked greasy.  On top of that, he talked about making out with Valerie Bertinelli when her husband was ten feet away from them, although I may have read that in articles about the book - pre-release.  Anyway, the point is, if he hadn't died, I probably wouldn't have read his book and it's a book worth reading, in my opinion.

I'm not an alcoholic or a drug addict but I do believe it's a disease that is hard to keep in "remission".  It's easy for a non-addict to say that you just shouldn't take that first drink but it's not that easy for the addict and Matthew goes into painstaking detail about his battle with booze and drugs.  He talks about his abandonment issues and how he wanted to fill the hole he felt in his life and he used booze and drugs to try to fill it.  He'd wanted fame because he thought that would do the trick but it didn't.  He kept meeting wonderful women but would break up with them before they could break up with him.  It was a pretty sad existence. 

Lisa Kudrow wrote the forward and she said she hated being asked how he was in interviews because the truth was, she didn't know.  Plus, she didn't feel it was her story to tell.  She also felt that NOT responding was bad too so she said she typically said something along the lines of "I think he's okay" and left it at that.  She said that now we all knew.  Because of the spacing in the ebook, the "from him" was on the next page.  The "now we all knew" seemed prophetic, given his death.

Matthew also said some things that seemed prophetic, as well.  It was eerie reading these things after his death. Chilling really.

He told a story how at one point he was in Switzerland and was being prescribed a certain dose of a drug.  He was told his doctor in the US would give him the same dose when he got home.  He chartered a plane, paying $175,000 to do so, and came home.  His doctor said he'd only give him a small fraction of what he could get in Switzerland, so he paid another $175,000 to go back to Switzerland.  That's what addiction can do to you.

One of the stories that bothered me most was one from a couple of years ago.  His bowels had already exploded and he'd had a number of surgeries but he was still smoking.  He started hearing some wheezing and made a doctor's appointment.  He figured he had a bronchial infection but turns out his years of smoking had done a number on his lungs.  He was told he needed to stop smoking immediately - that day - or he would die at 60.  The doctor told him he could live until his 80s if he stopped.  Stopping smoking proved challenging for him (a hypnotist was involved - twice) but he quit (and nothing was said to say he went back to it either).  He said that quitting cigarettes was harder than quitting drugs.  I've heard that before and think it's probably true (but have no firsthand experience with either).  But what bothered me is that he didn't make it until 60 - he was six years away from it when he died.

Knowing how it all ended, it was sad reading but I do think important.  He wanted to be more remembered for helping addicts (Hank Azaria credits Matthew with getting him sober) get sober than anything else and I hope he will be.  He thought writing this book might help others, I think it will.

I highly recommend it.

Dancing with the Stars Most Memorable Week

 I watched Dancing with the Stars last night and then watched the dances again earlier today.

Last night the stars recalled their most memorable years and then danced to them, telling the story of that year and what it meant to them.

I'm just going to go on record as saying, no one should be sent home on most memorable year night - period.  These people pour their hearts out with their stories and then again on the dance floor, and then one couple is sent home.  It's heartbreaking to see that.  They should let the votes carry over to the next week and send TWO couples home then.  But not on most memorable year night.  It's just wrong.

SPOILER ALERT!!!  I'm going to talk about who went home so if you haven't watched and don't want to know, stop reading now!  SPOILER ALERT!!!

The last three couples standing were Mira Sorvino, Alyson Hannigan and Harry (whose last name I don't know).  They were also the three bottom scorers of the night with Harry at the bottom, Alyson three points higher and Mira one point higher than Alyson. 

I think I mentioned last week that I vote for Mira and Alyson and I did again last night.  (I also vote for Barry but he had a great dance and scored a 24 last night, which was two points higher than Mira.)

Something I've noticed over the years though, is that a man who can't dance can go further in the competition than he deserves because women do most of the voting and they'll vote for a cute male who can't dance before they vote for a woman who can dance.  And I think they did that last night because Harry wasn't the one who went home, even though he deserved to, based on the scores the judges gave him.

Mira was the one who went home last night.  The part that was hard for me was that her memorable year was the year her daughter was born - and her daughter joined her in the dance!  The judges talked about the humor in the dance (which I didn't pick up on - even the second time I watched it) and said how good and sweet it was, etc.  She got her best score yet with the dance.  I thought it was a good dance, deserving of better scores than it got but I hated seeing her go home on a dance that was essentially dedicated to her daughter and one in which that daughter participated in the dance.

I'll just say it again, no one should be sent home on most memorable year week!

Dancing with the Stars

 This season of Dancing with the Stars has had some controversy.  The first thing I heard about the controversy was that one of the contestants had some sort of scandal (I don't remember specifics - domestic abuse, sexual assault?  I really don't remember) that outraged people that he would be allowed on the show.  I don't know all the names but his first name is Adrian, I believe.  Anyway, there were posts online about how the professional should've declined to dance with him, etc. but it moved forward anyway.

Then came the scandal of one of the contestants (I believe his name is Matt something - from Veep) saying they were backing out because of the writer's strike.  The writer's came to an agreement right before the premiere so he danced on night one, and was promptly sent home.  I don't remember his dance and couldn't tell you who his partner was (Peta maybe?).  Then the rumblings online were that he was unfairly sent home because he had briefly walked out - that it was political.  Then that got put behind us.

I watched this past Tuesday's episode but, to be honest, it didn't get my full attention when it was on live.  I record it and decided not to delete it after watching it because I wanted to go back and watch the dances again to see what I had missed and what I thought about who went home.  

**SPOILER ALERT**  If you have not watched it yet and don't want to know who went home, stop reading now!  **SPOILER ALERT**

Adrian was sent home on Tuesday.  When I went back and watched the dancing for the night, his actually was one of the best of the night, in my opinion.  I believe his dance was the Viennese Waltz and it was so smooth and graceful and lovely to watch - and I say this as someone who has wanted him to go home since I heard about his "scandal" (that I can't remember exactly what it was).  I felt his scores were low for his performance (he got all 7s for a score of 21), but I also felt others got scores lower than they deserved too.  Anyway, there were at least 3 - maybe 4 or even 5 - people with lower scores than he got and he was in a three way tie with the score he had gotten, but he was the one sent home.  It kind of surprised me.  Even though I wanted him to go home, he didn't deserve to go home on that dance.  But I guess that's the nature of the show?

Anyway, I read an article today that Charity (I think she recently was the Bachelorette - I haven't watched that in years so can't say with a certainty) was dissatisfied with her scores from the other night - she felt she deserved higher scores (she got all 8s from the judges for a score of 24).  Her partner (Artem) said he felt the scores were good but said something to the effect that there wasn't any constructive criticism given so it's hard to know what to work on from here (I would have to go back and see what was said because I don't usually retain that after it's given, although Adrian did get great feedback from his dance - I believe Derek even stood up and applauded him . . . and then he went home, but I digress).  Thing is, historically, when contestants publicly complain about their scores, they don't typically last on the show much longer, with most going home the very next week.  The judges give their feedback based on the actual dance but the viewers' voting is a popularity contest and most viewers don't seem to like it when contestants think they're better than they may be and vote accordingly.  That said, I would be okay if she went home next week.

Last thing I will say, I've been voting for Mira Sorvino every week (her, Barry Williams and Alyson Hannigan have been getting my votes every week).  Last week she danced the rumba.  For me, the rumba is probably my least favorite dance because unless it's danced by two professionals, it - to me - looks clunky.  It's a slow and sensual dance.  Mira was dissatisfied with her scores (it was shown in her package before this week's dance - I didn't see anything else come out publicly) because she thought it had been her best dance so far.  For me, I felt that she got the steps and movements down well but the problem for me was that I didn't believe the "sensual" part of the dance, which is key and very important to the reception the dance gets, at least in my opinion.  For that reason, I didn't agree that it was her best dance.  She seemed to be concentrating on the steps and movements - which again, she did well - but lost a key component to the dance, again, in my opinion.  This week, however, she did very well, in my opinion.  I think she did a waltz (maybe the Viennese Waltz? can't remember for certain).  She was one of them that I thought deserved better scores (she was one that tied with Adrian - who went home).

In any event, that's my very limited recap of the show so far this season.  I still enjoy the show but feel like I know fewer and fewer of the contestants each season but can say with a certainty that I don't care for it when the contestants complain about the scores they get because I don't believe the judges skew the scores for particular contestants, even when I don't always agree with the scores they dole out.

Doggy Daycare

 A few weeks ago I was offered an incredible opportunity to take a trip with friends.  It was to a country I had been scheduled to go to last year but had to cancel last minute so it was all the more exciting for that reason.  

But of course, I have dogs, which makes traveling more challenging.  On the plus side, my next door neighbor runs a kennel at her home.

I went on their website to look and see if she had openings for my pups for the trip.  It was then that I realized that the trip was a four week trip, not a three week trip like I was thinking.  Three weeks is more than I want to be away myself, much less four weeks with the dogs kenneled so I ended up passing on the trip.

BUT, I accidentally clicked on something while on the neighbor's website, which started an email exchange between me and my neighbor.  I ended up scheduling a "meet and wag" with the new addition to my family, Benji.

From there, I scheduled a couple of "overnight" visits for the boys (they weren't staying overnight though - I wanted "daycare" but her program had no openings and overnight bookings were the only way they could get daycare play time).

Then she had an opening come up in the daycare program so I took the slot.  Having a set schedule that the boys go out to play with others, I decided to make plans for those days.  I would get things done that are harder to do with them underfoot, right?  I could be out all day and not worry what might be happening at home (Benji was a little more aggressive towards Oreo than I would have liked when he first got here - he's calmed down in that regard though so it's all good now).

So, it's been four or five weeks now that they've been going to the neighbor's and the boys come home exhausted, so it's a quiet evening.  Which is a good thing because getting things done is exhausting too!  But the good news it, at least one night a week, we all sleep really well!  :)

Book Review: Save What's Left

 

I loved this book!  I started it late one evening and that's the only reason I didn't read it in one day!

 

Kathleen Deane is a woman who, due to an unexpected life event, uproots her life and moves to another state.  I totally related to this because I did this last year.  The author discloses the year Kathleen was born and it was the year before I was born so I also had that in common with the heroine of the story - similar life experiences.

 

Kathleen moved to this town because it had been "presented" to her as charming and lovely and just heaven.  (Same for where I moved - difference was I had been here before and came to that conclusion on my own and not just told that's how it was, like Kathleen.)  But when she arrives, she finds that things aren't as she believed and she finds it hard to fit in.  She ruffles a few feathers.  (seriously, with minor modifications, this could be MY story!)

 

What I liked about it is that it was relatable, at least for my situation.  It made me have to laugh at it - as well as laughing at the situation I find myself in!  It's kind of like how you find humor in someone else's "disasters" (for lack of a better word) but in this case, it was even more funny because I could see how it applied to my own situation.

 

So, I mentioned Kathleen experienced an unexpected life event that caused her to make the move, right?  Well, her situation was that her husband of thirty years left her and went on a world cruise to "find himself".  He bores of the cruise life and shows up at her house one day, unannounced, with an Airstream in her driveway that he decides to live in . . . in her driveway!  Tom (her husband) starts meeting people and everyone LOVES him - adores him even, he fits right in while Kathleen remains the town pariah.  Tom adopts a dog (Roger), that he walks daily.  Everyone loves Roger too.

Things happen and while Tom finds himself recovering from an accident and Kathleen is in the hospital for poisoning, their daughter, Hattie, shows up unexpectedly (and doesn't know her parents are dealing with medical issues).  While there, she takes up walking Roger.  When asked who she is, she tells people she's Kathleen's daughter and no one knows who Kathleen is, but they know Roger and know he belongs to Tom.  This was hysterical to me.  Kind of reminded me of What About Bob? where Bill Murray's character endears himself to everyone while Richard Dreyfuss' character is hated - I just found it funny.

The ending was a bit of a letdown but it wasn't that it was bad - it just didn't meet the high bar set by the rest of the book's story, in my opinion.  There is more to the story than I've conveyed here but I really enjoyed it and it made me laugh - a LOT.  I'd recommend it to anyone who has picked up their life and moved somewhere new or even if you've just considered picking up your life and moving, or if you just want to laugh.  It was a fun read!  😀

Book Review - Central Park West

I hadn't intended to read James Comey's book, Central Park West but I did put a hold on an ebook copy at the library.  There weren't many people in line for the ebook copy and there were no people in line for the TWENTY THREE copies of the audio book the library had gotten copies of, which I found interesting.  By the time the library emailed me that a copy of the ebook was available, I decided to check it out.  The reviews on amazon were good.  There was a one star review but the review was basically "I don't like James Comey" with nothing about the book so I took that with a grain of salt.

Very early on I noticed something that continued throughout the book - he "head hopped" . . . a LOT.  And the writing was bad, in my opinion.  The first head hopping incident I came to, I thought I had zoned out and missed the scene change for the new head we were in, storytelling-wise.  So I went back to see where I lost the thread, only to realize, I hadn't missed the scene change - he just changed points of view mid-scene.  In at least one instance, he did this mid-paragraph!  It was very distracting.  I've been told that only Nora Roberts can successfully head hop.  I've met Nora Roberts and James Comey is no Nora Roberts!

There were a lot of "data dumps" as well. We're talking data dumps that added NOTHING to the story, literally nothing!

He would describe things - like rooms - without the benefit of anyone's point of view.  It wouldn't be something like "Louise felt the history of the courthouse,, every time she entered the majestic building" followed by a description of the building and what struck her most about it and what she thought about it.  No, he would start with a data dump about the building - sans description - before going into Louise's point of view . . . in the same scene.

 

For the record, I don't think "Louise" was one of his characters but they were so unmemorable that I don't recall any of the character's names!  Which brings me to another point.  I like character driven stories.  If I don't care about the characters, I'm not likely to like the book.  There wasn't one single character that I found sympathetic in the book.  It's a murder mystery / thriller and I couldn't have cared less who did the killing or why.  I only kept reading because I figured it HAD to get better.  It did not.

The characters in the book made me question his competence as our attorney general (and I know he no longer is).  He said his wife corrected some things he got wrong in processes and procedures (I guess she holds some position in the judicial system?).  Shouldn't a former AG know those things?

Books borrowed from the library can only be borrowed for two weeks at a time.  Ebooks get snatched back at the end of that time, whether you've finished the book or not.  I was so disinterested in the book that I didn't think I would be able to finish in time so I thought I'd nab one of the 23 copies of the audio book, only to discover that the library had chosen not to keep those versions (I guess since no one seemed interested in them) and was literally trying to finish the book with minutes left before it was snatched back.

I did finish the book and all I can say is, I wish I could get the time I wasted on reading it back.  Not a book I would recommend and I don't understand all the high ratings it has gotten on amazon.  The one star review was pretty accurate and I don't think that person even read the book

Book Review: The Last Thing He Told Me

I recently saw Jennifer Garner give an interview for a new show she's in on AppleTV (there are way too many streaming services!!!! but I digress).  She talked about how her character's husband disappears and leaves behind his daughter, who doesn't get along with Jennifer's character.  The two try to find her husband and have to rely on one another and form a bond. 

 

 

It's not one of those stories that necessarily grabs you instantly but it was mildly interesting and so I put a hold on the book it was based on at the library.  When it first became available to me I was reading something else and didn't check it out.  You have three days to check it out and the first time - only the first time - they hold your place and put you next in line for the book, although you have to wait at least a week.

 

The second time it came up, I knew if I didn't check it out or delay delivery (something you can do indefinitely, so long as you re-book it within the three days you have to check it out), I'd go to the end of the line and the line had gotten exceedingly long since I'd first added my name to the list.  I still wasn't ready though so I pushed it back one week.

 

The third time it became available, I checked it out.  That was this past Friday.  I had an hour meeting from 2-3 Friday afternoon and I started reading the book around 1:00.  

 

I finished it before I went to bed and I did other things besides the meeting, such as walking the dogs, cooking dinner and cleaning.  Those were all things I had to do but I didn't want to

 because I didn't want to put the book down.  It was so good! 

The story is told from the perspective of the wife, Hannah.  The day starts off as any other day but a 12-year old girl brings Hannah a note from her husband, Owen.  It just says protect her.  She knows he means his daughter, Bailey, but she doesn't understand what is going on.  Particularly when a US Marshall shows up at her door saying things that make no sense to her.  He is followed by two FBI agents and news reports about the company Owen works being in serious legal jeopardy.

Things look bad for Owen but Hannah is determined to find out where he is and what exactly is going on, particularly given the note and "package" Owen left for Bailey.

It's noted to be a fast paced with twists and turns in the plot - all true.

It was a very good book and very well told story.  There was one thing that bothered me but it is the final (or one of the final anyway) plot twists so I can't tell it here.  It bothered me because much was told about Hannah's background and she makes a decision that is counter to that history - not something I felt was in line with what we'd previously been told about the character.  But they did tie up loose ends and had a satisfying conclusion to the story overall.

I highly recommend it.

The Maid's Diary - Book Review

I recently read The Maid's Diary by Loreth Anne White.  It was a "amazon's first" offering that interested me and, unlike most of the books I get from there, I actually read it.  Here is the amazon blurb on it:

Kit Darling is a maid with a snooping problem. She’s the “invisible girl,” compelled to poke into her wealthy clients’ closely guarded lives. It’s a harmless hobby until Kit sees something she can’t unsee in the home of her brand-new clients: a secret so dark it could destroy the privileged couple expecting their first child. This makes Kit dangerous to the couple. In turn, it makes the couple—who might kill to keep their secret—dangerous to Kit.

When homicide cop Mallory Van Alst is called to a scene at a luxury waterfront home known as the Glass House, she’s confronted with evidence of a violent attack so bloody it’s improbable the victim is alive. But there’s no body. The homeowners are gone. And their maid is missing. The only witness is the elderly woman next door, who woke to screams in the night. The neighbor was also the last person to see Kit Darling alive.

As Mal begins to uncover the secret that has sent the lives of everyone involved on a devious and inescapable collision course, she realizes that nothing is quite as it seems. And no one escapes their past.

 

That blurb got my attention but the writing made me not want to put the book down - I wanted to know what happened next!  I needed to know how it played out.  I started the book late one day and finished it the next day.

Funnily enough, there was one point where I had this wild thought about what was going on but quickly dismissed it as too farfetched.  But wouldn't you know it, that was what was going on!  Normally, if I can guess what's going on and I have even the faintest thought that it's farfetched, that would put me off but the author so skillfully wrote the story in a way that made it believable and not as farfetched as you might have thought - or as I had thought.  It's funny how that works, isn't it?

I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone looking for an unexpected mystery / thriller.  I don't think you'll be disappointed.  :)

Hiding in plain sight

 When I talk to people on the phone and it relates in some way to customer service, I typically take notes on the call.  Things like, who I talked to and what they told me.  Oftentimes (but not always) I will also note the time and date, in case I need that information in the future.

Well, almost two years ago I had a conversation with someone.  I remembered what they told me but not who I spoke with.  I wasn't sure if I had made note of who I had talked to.  I had talked to a number of people during this time and knew I had taken notes on a lot of the calls but wasn't sure I had in this particular instance.

 

Several months ago I reached out to this "business" to follow up.  I was stonewalled on the call so finding out if I had noted the name of who I spoke to became all the more important.  Periodically I would do a search for it but always came up short.  It was frustrating because there was other information from the notebook I wanted to find as well.

 

Yesterday I was on a mission to find this notebook that may - or may not - have the information I needed.  I was like a tornado, leaving messes wherever I looked and getting more and more frustrated when I wasn't finding it.

 

 Lately, I've been working with two notebooks - a large (or normal size) one and a small (9.5x6 inch) one.  On a lark, I decided to see if it was possible that the notes were in the large notebook because I would've bet everything I had that the notes were in a large notebook.  The notes I had taken at the time were at the back of a notebook, so I started there.  In the large notebook I did find notes that I had taken around that time but not what I needed - and not all of what I knew I had taken notes on.

I was at the point where I was convinced I had thrown out he notebook by mistake when I decided to look at the smaller notebook - convinced I wouldn't find anything and . . . there was the information I needed!  It's been within arms length this whole time and actually been used with some regularity!  Hiding in plain sight!

Maybe my dog is offended

 As previously mentioned, I'm learning Italian from CDs I bought more than six years ago.  I've been doing the lessons five days a week (Monday-Friday) and stay on the same lesson for the week to help ensure I'm absorbing the information.

Well, my dog doesn't seem to like it.  He literally gets up and leaves the room when I start the lesson, and comes back when I'm done.

Yesterday he had burrowed himself under the throw on the sofa and was snuggled up to me.  He'd just gotten into position and I hit play for the lesson and all they said was "this is lesson 5" and he came out from under the throw and stormed off into the bedroom, after giving me "a look".  Seriously, he gave me a look!

It occurred to me today that maybe it's the language I'm learning.  He's part chihuahua and maybe he's offended that I'm not learning the language of his roots.  Who knows?  I just know he really doesn't like it when I do my lessons!  :)

Epiphany

I was having an email exchange with my niece earlier this evening and the topic of Alaska came up and she asked me if I had ever been and she mentioned she had been offered a job there but had been told she couldn't take it because of the weather and low temperatures there so she had to decline the offer.  The way she told it, it was unclear who had said she couldn't take it but that she then declined it, well, it confused me so I asked who had told her she couldn't take the job.  Turns out it was her husband.

As I thought about this it occurred to me that that is the reason I have no desire to be married again - well one of the reasons anyway.  It seems that when it comes to "allowing" their spouse to do anything, the husbands want the final say - kind of like a parent would for their small child.  We have to get permission to do things like go places or spend money, whereas the men do whatever they want and spend as much as they want and they feel no need to clear it through their wives.

But here's where the epiphany came in (because I pretty much knew the other part), they want to play the role of parent when it comes to what we do, EXCEPT when it comes to taking care of the house.  They want to be the child that gets taken care of.  The one whose only contribution to a meal is sitting at the table (or in front of the TV).  They rarely want to help with household chores of cooking or cleaning and to them, watching their own kids is usually considered "babysitting".  But when a woman does it, it's parenting.  And they expect to receive medals if they ever pitch in at all.  Plus, we can get fussed at if we don't stay on top of "our" chores (but we can't say anything if they don't stay on top of "theirs"!).

At the end of my marriage my husband and I were working together and we only had one car so we were both away from the house all day, everyday.  One day we got home and he immediately started complaining because he thought the house was a mess.  I was stunned by the viciousness of his "complaint" but once I composed myself, I pointed out that he was home exactly the same amount of time as I had been and if he was unhappy with the cleanliness of the house he could just of as easily done something about it as I could.  That didn't stop his complaining.  A few years back I was experiencing a debilitating illness where getting out of bed was challenging for me - literally.  Cleaning was not something I was physically able to do and I remember thinking that if I was still married to that person, he would probably have complained because the house was a mess and not lifted a finger to clean it himself.  I don't miss being married to that man.

Having said all that I also want to say, I know not all men are like that but in my experience, more are than are not and I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who wants to be the boss of me but expects me to be the adult when he thinks tasks are "beneath" him.  And somehow a conversation about Alaska brought more clarity to the situation for me.  Weird how that works, isn't it?  :)

Serendipity

One of my goals this year is to get some things done that I've been putting off.  Early in the year I made a list of things I needed to do each day and checked them off . . . or not.  I "invested" in a product that I can keep the list on my refrigerator (although that's not how I originally envisioned it - but that's okay).

 

Anyway, I moved here almost a year ago (less than a week shy of that anniversary!).  One of the drawing features is the fact that there is a generator here because my other house didn't (and doesn't) have one because it's all electric - no gas for the generator.  Well, about six months ago the power went out here and the generator didn't kick in.  I called the generator guy, who told me he was headed out of town so it would be about a week before he got here.  I said that was fine and I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  I finally got a call about six weeks later with him following up to see if I needed him to come out.  Since I'd originally called, the power had gone out again but that time the generator kicked in like it was supposed to.  I told him that and told him I didn't think I needed him to come out after all, and left it at that.

At some point after that, the power went out again and the generator didn't kick in - again.  I didn't do anything about it for a long time though.  After the first of the year, I added it to my "to do" list and I called him about three weeks ago.  I believe it was on a Friday.  He said he could probably come out on Monday.  My mistake was in not asking which Monday, but I digress.  He came out ten days later to check things out.  Long story short, it was pretty messed up and needed "servicing".

Fast forward to last night, a "severe winter storm" hit here and my power went out.  According to the email I received, I lost power around 3:00 a.m. last night.  But, thanks to the service call I put in a few weeks ago, my generator kicked in.  And thank goodness because there's still no power in the area and no estimated time it will be turned back on!

 

I'm also snowed in.  Below is a snapshot of my front yard this morning.  I have a rain gauge that can read 5 or 6 inches and it is completely buried under the snow!  But thanks to my call to the generator guy, I'm nice and toasty in my house.  :)

 

 

Learning a New Language

 Way back in 2016 I bought some CDs to learn Italian.  I was planning to travel there and wanted to be able to speak the language.

Well, I cancelled the trip and set aside the CDs, always intending to go back to them and learn the language anyway.  I did take a Mediterranean cruise in 2018 and we did spend time in Italy but, I hadn't learned the language yet.

In fact, I never opened the box of CDs until last week!  I had them all these years and never opened them, much less tried to learn the language.

But I did open them last week and I have been listening to them and practicing the language.  I've decided to do one lesson a week, repeating the lesson daily so that I feel comfortable with the lesson before moving on.  I decided this after the first lesson because, frankly, I just wasn't getting it.  By the end of the week, I did feel comfortable to move on.  

Lesson two seems easier.  The first ten minutes are a repeat of lesson one and the rest is things like saying hello and good bye - phrases I was already familiar with.

I will say that there have been times where I've found myself incorporating words or phrases from other languages but for the most part, I feel I'm doing okay.

Now, having said all that, I do feel that there are times when maybe I'm saying words in correctly - some I feel I just don't have the ability to pronounce the way they're supposed to be said.  When those words enter the lesson, the video below (particularly the second scene) comes to mind.  :)

Passwords

 I just tried to log into an account of mine and it took two tries to get it right.  

 

About a year ago I tried to long on to this account and apparently they had implemented a new system that forces you to change your password every few months - and it has requirements for those passwords.  You have to have upper and lower case letters in the password.  You have to have at least one number and at least one symbol.

 

In the past I had a few passwords that I used.  If I tried one and it didn't work, I tried another.  If that one didn't work, I'd try capitalizing a particular letter (in case that was a requirement for that particular account).  I could usually figure out the password before I reached the point of locking myself out of an account - I might not remember which one I just typed in to know for future reference, but I could usually figure it out before I was locked out.

Here's the thing, I don't typically use the type of password that would be easily figured out by a bad actor. I actually have some passwords that have all the required criteria I mentioned above.  But the thing is, they don't require me to change them every few months.  I mean, I get that companies want to make it difficult to access by a bad actor but when the user can't access the account?  Now THAT'S a problem!

Happy New Year

It's a new year and a time to start fresh, or something like that.

 

I don't make resolutions anymore but I do set goals for myself each year.  The theory being that if you make a resolution, you can fail - early on - and you're disappointed in yourself and want to give up.  If you make a goal, maybe you just haven't achieved it yet, so keep trying, right?  At least that's how I look at it.

 

This year I have a long list of goals and have even started collecting things to encourage my success at it.  For instance, I ordered a monthly chalk board where I can list what I need to accomplish and mark it off when completed.  It comes with a grocery list and a "to do" list board as well.  I think it will help but time will tell, right?

 

Another example of trying to set myself up for success, one of my goals is to read the entire bible in one year.  I've started this before and read every day for two and a half months before I gave up.  Well, as I was watching my church service this morning, at the end of the sermon the speaker mentioned reading the bible in a year and gave a website - bibleinoneyear.org - and I went there to check it out.  It was interesting because it's not just reading the bible from the beginning to the end, which is how I've always attempted it in the past, it gave passages from three different books in the bible - Psalms, Matthew and Genesis - in that order.  The passages connected to each other to share a specific message.  I liked that.  But to keep me on target for my goal, I signed up for the daily newsletter.  I assume it will be the message and bible passages for the day but if not, it will at least remind me to go back to the website to read that day's messages.

And this evening, I made a "to do" list for tomorrow.  I'm supposed to have someone show up tomorrow to do some work on the house and I don't know how long it will take and it's possible it will interfere with my "to do" list but I figure I at least got a start on the day, right?

So that's how I'm starting my new year and how I'm addressing the year's goals.  

 

How is your year looking?