Dear Muse - we need to talk

Dear Muse,

It was so nice to see you this weekend. Really. It's been such a long time. And while I normally would welcome an unexpected visit from you, we really need to discuss timing, as it's becoming a serious issue for us.

See, while it's good to know that you will make an appearance when I'm in deadline hell, it's important that you keep in mind what that deadline is. When I'm stressing over my term paper deadline, it's really not the best of times for you to pop in and talk incessantly about the next great american novel. Seriously.

Oh, and while we're on the topic of "not the best of times to pop in" we should go ahead and get a few other times out of the way. For instance, when I'm flying down the freeway at the speed limit (whatever that might be at the time), is not a good time. You see, I don't have any voice activated devices available to me and I'm pretty sure typing on my laptop while driving would be discouraged by any rational person.

Another time is when I'm in the bathtub because, while I don't instantly recall reading it, I'm pretty sure taking a laptop into the bathtub would not be a good idea. While it may not electrocute me, I don't believe water in its innards would do it much good.

While I'm at work is another "not good time". You see, my employer thinks I should do company work when I'm there. You may think it's unreasonable but, well, it pays the bills.

On the other hand, good times - and you'll always be welcome - to stop by are, when I'm sitting down to write. Despite what you think, it is NOT amusing to scramble the words in my head when I finally sit down. Wiping my brain free of the great scene, character trait, idea is also not amusing.

Now, dear Muse, I don't want to offend you. I just want to come to an understanding. I have the utmost respect for your special skills and love when you stop by. In fact, I would happily stop cleaning house to share some quality time with you. All I ask is that you be mindful of the timing.

Your faithful servant -

L