Suzy Homemaker, I'm not

Larry, the Lawnboy, I'm not either.

I have this friend from work. I've been to her house a couple of times. The first time she had what she calls a "dog-hair tumbleweed" rolling across her floor. I didn't say anything but it made me feel that she'd probably cleaned her house for my visit and had just missed that. Which was a good thing - well, from my perspective.

Anyway, after I'd been to her house those couple of times, she was talking about her weekend and how she was housecleaning. She'd vacuumed the carpet and the vacuum bag was full so she vacuumed again. And again, until the bag came out empty when she ran it over the carpet.

Same for mopping the floor. She mopped over and over and over until the water in the bucket was clear when she finished. Maybe I'm way less of a Suzy Homemaker than I think but that just seems like overkill to me.

It also made me think she hadn't just cleaned for my visit and would have been mortified if I'd pointed out the "dog-hair tumbleweed" I'd seen in her entryway, which I still haven't mentioned to her.

As a result, I've been intimidated to invite her into my house - and haven't to date. However, we did once attend a training together and she came to my house to pick me up. It so happened that my yard was as bad as it gets the day she came by. All the way to (and back from) the training class, all she could talk about was my lawn and what needed to be done. (I told her it bothered me but she kept on.) After that I noticed comments she would make about things and realized that she's pretty judgmental about things. And putting everything together, I don't even want her outside my house. Doesn't mean we're not friends, just means I don't want her at or in my house.

Well, I'm home sick today (actually I'm doing a LOT better...was really sick over the weekend). I called her to ask her to take care of a couple of things for me at the office. I told her that I'd called another friend of mine on Saturday to bring me Sprite and said I would have called her but I knew her husband was in town (which was true. I was sick enough I would have happily had her come over and bring me something and not cared what she thought or said about my house - inside or out. I was that sick!).

So, she decides that she wants to bring me 7-Up and crackers during her lunch break. I told her it wasn't necessary because I still had Sprite and toast. She did it anyway. She did, however, only ring the bell, leave the goodies and leave (and I'm thankful - for the crackers that is...at least crackers have a salty taste to them...bread is so bland!). But when I called her to thank her she said, "I couldn't remember exactly where you lived so I just drove around until I found the worst lawn in the neighborhood and figured that was your house."

And she wonders why I don't invite her in! (or want her at my house)