The Lost Year

Being the last post of the year, this is where I would reflect on the past year. For me 2010 will go down as, as the blog title suggests, the lost year.

I spent the year learning things about a virus called Epstein Barr virus. I say I spent the year doing this because when I was diagnosed as having it, no one thought it warranted an explanation and my google searches didn't offer up much more help. And since I also had mono, that's what the doctors focused on - so I did too. Only it seemed to be dragging on for so long and no one seemed to understand why. That is until I went to see a new doctor. Roughly six months into my illness, she was the first one to tell me that what I was experiencing was consistent with the Epstein Barr virus - which I still had (and still have). However, she offered no solutions for relief.

A few months later I went to yet another doctor who did offer relief in the way of drugs. Personally I'm not a fan of taking anything that I don't absolutely have to and since this virus is temporary (although I've discovered that "temporary" can be up to two years), I was reluctant to go this route. But I did. And I'm pleased to say that this is the first week I've actually felt good for more than one or two days in a row for a good nine months - and I even went to the gym yesterday . . . the first time since April 21 (I asked).

So, my top take-aways from this year are:

1. If your doctor tells you that you have something but doesn't fully explain the possibilities of the illness, get a new doctor - even if you've gone to the same one for 15 years.

2. If you ask explicit questions about your illness and your doctor won't answer the questions to your satisfaction, see #1.

3. The friend who offers to go to the doctor with you so you can get answers is a better friend than the one who can only focus on when the last time you saw each other and how long it takes for symptoms to appear.

To sum up, 2010 basically sucked for me but I did learn some valuable things - like who my real friends are. And you know what? That's never a bad thing!

RWA Conference

Every year RWA has a conference and this week there are some 2000 romance writers in Florida celebrating RWA's 30th anniversary. There are workshops and networking opportunities and a high energy and support that you don't get / see in other industries. It's the reason I get to say that I vacation with Nora Roberts! (hehe - I know she's missing me now, right? lol)

Tonight is the wrap-up of the conference and they do so with an award ceremony, recognizing excellence in writing. Published writers can win a Rita and non-published writers can win a Golden Heart. It's the academy awards of romance writers and it's a big deal!

Gabrielle Luthy was my roommate two years ago at the San Francisco conference. She's a very unique and fascinating person and I consider her a friend. She's up for a Golden Heart tonight. So, while life got in the way of me being there in person, I'm cheering her on and wishing her the best tonight. Gabrielle, here's hoping you walk away with the award in your category! Good luck!

Oh, and Nora, I'll see you next year - count on it! ;o)

Sex and the City

I went to see Sex and the City Thursday evening with my best friend. I really wanted to see it but fully expected to be disappointed because the clips used to promote the movie didn't make it look like a good movie, in my opinion.



And maybe it was the low expectation that resulted in me being pleasantly surprised but I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. It showed the what the character's lives were like two years later. I found it to be very relatable. There are those who say that it shouldn't have taken the ladies out of New York but it fit the storyline well.



It brought back all the characters we loved from the series and wrapped up any unanswered questions / unresolved issues from the last movie. And while I would go to see another SATC movie if another were made, I think this was a great way to end the franchise. As I said, I thoroughly enjoyed it.



What about you? Have you - or do you plan to - seen it? If you have, what did you think?

My boyfriend and his wife

The other day we had a luncheon at work in recognition of my upcoming service anniversary with the company. Technically it's supposed to be with people from your workgroup but, as much as I love my job and group, I really haven't connected with many people from my workgroup. So, I asked my boss if I could invite a few people outside of the group - and he said yes.

Which is how SCG got to be included in the guests. Well, if you've been following my blog, you know that mine and SCG's relationship has evolved over time. He's one of my favorite people and he's one of my closest friends now. And, if you've been following my blog, you also know he's married.

Now, when I talk about him to family members I always go, "My friend, SGC - you know, my married friend..." and then I proceed with the story. I have to do that so that they don't try to marry us off. I mean, not only is bigomy illegal, I don't share well.

Anyway, I don't expect to throw in that disclaimer when I'm dealing with non-family members - like work people. Yes, I talk about SCG a lot but not really any more than I do other friends of mine and SCG and I have discussed how people misinterpret our relationship and he basically said it was their problem, not ours and I've kind of taken up that torch and run with it myself since then.

But back to the lunch...I was actually more comfortable than usual at the event (I hate being the center of attention, which is why I wanted people I love and trust at the lunch with me) but my boss was making a mini-speech and he asked me what I'd ordered for my gift. Well, I haven't ordered it so he asked me what I was considering and the conversation went something like this...

Me: Well, there is a ring I'm looking at but I'd really like to see it in person rather than choosing it from a picture. There's also a crystal vase and bowl I was looking at. I was also considering a grill but I don't cook.

There were a few dazed looks and I realized that cooking has nothing to do with grilling so I felt a little uncomfortable and then followed it up with

Me: And he (pointing at SCG) doesn't grill.

SGC: No. No, I don't grill. I don't cook either.

Hmmm, can't imagine why people would think we were boyfriend and girlfriend from that! Particularly when he followed it up by making me tell a work story from before my time with this company - and one I wouldn't tell except to my close personal friends.

I spent the rest of the day repeating "No, he's really not by boyfriend! He's married!"

In any event, I had dinner last night with my "boyfriend" and his wife. I told her what had happened and she seemed to get a kick out of it. We left their house to go eat and she told me to sit up front and I said, "well of course I should sit up front with my boyfriend". We both laughed and I got in the back seat.

One of the things I really like about SCG though is, his love for his wife. It's obvious. I've never heard him speak disrespectfully of his wife. When he talks about things he wants to do (like hopping on a harley and traveling across country), he always wants to do them with Mrs SCG - always. When he is excited about something, he wants to share it with her. He makes time to spend time with just her - without the kids - on a regular basis. And they've been married 19 years. I don't know about you but I think that's pretty cool.

So, as far as faux boyfriends go, I could do a lot worse. :o)

And then there were two

Have you been watching the Bachelor this season? Last season's cast off, Jason Mesnick, is this season's bachelor. He's the single father who won everyone's - except Deanna's - heart last year. He's back to find the woman of his dreams.

Now, I have to remind you all that I'd never watched the Bachelor before Deanna's season. I saw the last five minutes of her season when she was rejected by Brad and this was how (and why) my friend was able to convince me to watch the Bachelorette.

And, although Jason was an early favorite of mine last season, he lost some points by being reluctant to mention his child to Deanna. I mean, Ty is supposedly the most important thing in the world to Jason but he let her potential negative reaction keep him from mentioning it for several weeks. That was a problem for me. I mean, I still liked him a lot and thought he deserved to be in the final two but it weighed heavily enough that I was a Jesse girl. In the end, Deanna was too - well, at least for the public, she's since given up on him.

Anyway, I liked Jason enough that I was willing to spend another season watching him try to find true love. On the first night I sent an email to my good friend (the one who got me to watch) and told her what my initial reaction was to the ladies, just from their meeting Jason outside the limo. I said I thought Shelby would be the winner. And for those of you wondering who the heck Shelby is, she was eliminated that first night. Goes to show what I know. lol

I did, however, send a second email that evening, after the rose ceremony, telling my friend who I thought would be in the top three. I said, Melissa (score!), Megan (really? I liked Megan? Well, at least I'm over it now!) and the "Brazilian girl" (Raquel, I think). Okay, so I'm not that great at predicting - at least I'm not charging for this, right?


Well, tomorrow is the finale and we find out who he selected. There's been talk and rumors about it but no one really knows. I've saved all the shows because I had planned to go back when it was all over and see if I could see the real thing developing - or if they deliberately edited to mislead. My friend knows this and has asked me a couple of times to go back and look at things.

So, here are some things that I've discovered to have been misleading...

My friend wanted me to go back and look at the previews and see who all was still there when Deanna showed up. Well, they showed the ladies at the pool saying "where is she?" and the like and looking up - as if they were looking into the window where Deanna and Jason were. They showed Shannon saying "I cried over Deanna" (or something to that effect). She has been gone a couple of weeks and Deanna hasn't shown up yet...she was talking about the previous season.

You see the hands of whoever Jason proposes to...they have what appears to be a french manicure. She also has on a pinky ring. I saw a youtube thing that someone posted after the first night and he was predicting Melissa as the winner because of the pinky ring. Also, at the last rose ceremony, Molly had on red nail polish and Melissa had, what appeared to be, a french manicure. Seems like a lock, right?

Well, on The Women Tell All edition last week, they showed more previews for the final show. It shows Molly giving herself a french manicure and wearing a pinky ring. So, I'm back to square one and have no idea who he's going with.

I have, however, seen Jason on interviews. This past week he was on the View and they said the rumor was that he proposed to Melissa and immediately regretted it and that that has something to do with him hanging over the balcony crying his eyes out. He neither confirmed or denied the rumor.

They've said the after the final rose episode is done without an audience, due to the potential drama. Someone pointed out that it could be that they didn't want to traumatize Ty, who would probably be there. That makes sense so I'm going on that assumption at the moment.

But as for the final two, I'm still rooting for Melissa. I think she is the most genuine and seems to be the best fit for Ty. She's sweet and pretty. I'm just hoping that her family's lack of participation didn't hurt her.

As for Molly, there's something about her I don't like. She doesn't seem to be genuine to me. She seems in it to win it, rather than to be truly falling in love. She also seemed, to me, to be trying to undermine the others' confidence. She came back from a date with Jason and said that Natalie had named names of trouble makers. Not only did he not say that, Natalie hadn't named names so she created some drama for some unknown reason. She also made a point of letting everyone know she spent the night with Jason and "got very little sleep" leading people to believe they'd slept together when, if you believe Jason, they didn't (and considering he refuses to discuss whether or not he slept with them on the overnight dates, I believe him on that). I will be very disappointed if Jason goes with Molly. In fact, I don't think I'll watch again if he does...Well...until next season anyway. ;)

What about you? Are you watching this season? Who do you think Jason should/will pick - and why?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Oh what a feeling!

I love that everyone is being so supportive of my joining in on the marathon fever. Really, I am. But I've discovered something about myself. I'm a follower. I'm not the leader - the pied piper, or the person with the great idea. No, I'm the one who gets tapped on the shoulder and asked "where's everyone going?" I say something like, "I don't know, something was said about a bridge, something about jumping. . . it sounds like fun though. Join us!"

It was that way with school. Last year Kristen and Ellen decided to go back to school. I followed suit in the spring.

It was like that with the marathon too. Inspired by others, I jumped right on the marathon train (oh if it were only that easy) with both feet and registered before I could change my mind.

Today is day two and I worked out with Richard . . . Simmons. I was sweating to the oldies. Tomorrow I will run again (I'll take Harley this time I think - and we'll hopefully skip the "chase down Brewsky as he bolts out the door and down the street" warm-up we had yesterday). I'm going to plow through the pain and work to achieve the goal of finishing a half-marathon in March.

In the meantime, I'm being told how cool it is that I'm doing this. People are proud of me. People are envious of me - or at least of what I'm doing/trying to accomplish. It's a nice feeling, really it is, but I can't help but find it kind of funny that I can't feel my legs but I'm inspiring people. :)

Someday has arrived

Several years ago my ex-boss's wife ran a marathon. She was at least in her late fifties, possibly in her early sixties. I was very impressed. And a bit jealous because it's something I'd like to do myself. Yet, I did nothing about it then. Time went by and I still did nothing about it. I'd hear about upcoming marathons and think "someday". But still, I did nothing.

Fast forward to this past week. Wednesday we had an offsite team building activity at work and I carpooled with two other ladies to the event. During the course of conversation, one of the ladies mentioned that she was training for the half-marathon in January. The bug of jealousy bit me again but I just kind of swatted at the pesky little thing.

That evening I logged on to the internet, stopping by my usual places and came across a post (can't remember where I first saw it to be honest) where a writer friend of mine, Mel, along with another friend of hers were gearing up for half-marathons and decided to blog about their journeys here. I was really impressed and inspired but I still got out the can of bug killer for the jealousy bug flying about.

THEN, the next day I was chatting with this man at work that I not so secretly have a crush on (everyone but him knows about the crush - at least I hope he doesn't know) and he tells me HE's training for a half-marathon.

It's like the story where the river starts rising and rescuers try to save this man who keeps saying "Jesus will save me". He passes on the vehicles that come, the boats that come, the helicopter that comes - all to save him. Then, when he dies in the flood he asks Jesus, "why didn't you save me?" and Jesus responds, "Well, I sent you a vehicle, a boat and a helicopter..."

Now, it's not like I'm going to die if I don't do this or anything but I do think there's something to the fact that in such a short time it's become like THE topic of conversation among my friends and I want to take a look at that. It's something I've wanted to do for a while and if I do it this time around, I won't be doing it alone.

So, I've been online and the Houston Marathon is full - I can't run in that marathon but I CAN run in the Little Rock marathon in March, with Mel. Tell me this isn't fated. It falls on the first weekend of my spring break. My step-father lives in Arkansas so I could visit him (and not have to kennel my dogs!) and see Mel. How can I not think I'm supposed to do this - now?

I do have to admit though, that heavy breathing you're hearing from me at the moment isn't because I'm winded from just running - or because I'm excited or anything. No, sadly it's the kind of breathing that comes from hyperventilating. I mean, I am excited about this but I'm also anxious about this. But I can do this, right? Just because I throw up a little every time I say (or type) that I'm going to do this doesn't mean anything. It doesn't!

But that all said, I'm all in. I AM doing this because someday has arrived!

Gender-neutral Friendships

Growing up my best friend was a boy named Darryl. Our mothers were best friends and so we were always together. We were about five when I realized we had differences. You see, that's the first time I had the "show me yours and I'll show you mine" conversation (and for the record, I've never known a male who wasn't willing to show his - just saying). I was shocked and stunned and devastated because we didn't have the same "equipment". But I still didn't think we were really all that different. Of course, that was before I tried to pee standing up. (Don't ask.)

Until that point in time, I was completely unaware of any boundaries or differences between boys and girls.

But, as time went by the differences seemed to become more "obvious". Interacting with the opposite sex had to mean something. You couldn't just be friends. There was a time when I thought it was just my family that had that view point (I can't talk about my male friends without starting the story with "we're just friends. he's married/gay/whatever." and interjecting that into whatever story I'm telling a couple of times and closing with that as well.) but recently I've found myself being asked about SCG. Granted, there was a time when I had feelings that went beyond friendship for him but that's all in the past. We really are just good friends now.

When I was in San Francisco, SCG kept in touch with me via text messages. He woke me up, at least once, texting me (two hour time difference SCG!!! when you're arriving at work, it's still the middle of the night in SF!). The day I evacuated for Ike, he called me to be sure I was okay and find out what my plans were. He kept in touch with me throughout the entire thing and came over the first day I got home and helped me clean up the mess in my yard, without me asking for help.

He's introduced me to his family - and we've all bonded. (His wife and I go to lunch without him!)

If he were female, no one would question anything about it. But the penis factor makes it all suspect to many - most, actually. I find myself getting asked if he's "my guy" a lot. Uh, no, he's my friend!

I'm tired of trying to explain it. I'm tired of trying to understand it. I'm tired of trying to figure out when it became unnatural to be friends with someone just because of gender. I'm going to quit trying to figure it out. When Harry Met Sally is one of my all time favorite movies and in it they ask the question, can men and women just be friends. Well, you know, I don't care what people think because I've decided I'm going to stop analyzing it and just be thankful that we're such good friends. Because, you know, penis or no penis, such good friends are hard to come by.

After the Storm

Well, SCG and his family got here Friday around 10:00 a.m. and worked until about 4:00 p.m. - and we didn't finish the clean up! I remembered that I hadn't used up all my exposures on the disposable camera I got in San Francisco so I snapped a few shots and took them to be developed (if nothing else, Ike got me to get pictures from Nationals developed).

Here is a shot of the pile of limbs in my front yard waiting to be picked up. And just let me say, this picture doesn't do the pile justice - it looks more massive in person, seriously.


Below are some shots of the backyard, as it looks now:

It may not look like it but I could stand upright when inside that dog house. And what's not green is covered in limbs that need to be raked and bagged up to be hauled out to the front. The dogs walk gingerly over it.

SCG kept saying he thought I should contract someone to cut down this tree and haul it off. I love this tree and couldn't understand why he would say that but looking at this picture, it does look kind of sad, doesn't it?By the way, the limb resting on the ground is attached to the one coming down from the tree AND the one shooting off to the right. The branch shooting off to the right is resting on my house and the way it's all laying, we couldn't get it down. It's likely it will cause damage to the roof and/or windows when it is brought down.

I took this next photo to kind of show how the fence had to be propped up. The tree in this picture is my favorite and doesn't seem to have sustained much, if any, damage as a result of the storm.


So, my question to you all. . . I want to do something nice for SCG and his family for all their hard work. I was thinking of a gift card (say MasterCard) of $100, that way they can use it how they choose to. I know it's not much, particularly given that it was a family of four that worked for 6 hours but it's all I can afford at the moment. Do you think it will be insulting? Should I get something more personal? And if so, suggestions?

If it helps, I didn't ask SCG for help - he offered. He called me Thursday a week ago as I was loading up my car to evacuate and asked if there was anything he could do - anything I needed. Then he kept in touch with me throughout the next week, letting me know how things were here and asking that I let him know when I would be back so he could help me. He even sent a text the day I came back, asking if I was back and when I'd be back so he could come help me. And he didn't hesitate to come out and he - and his family - worked their tails off for 6 hours to get done what we did.

So, thoughts? Suggestions? Help please! :)

O. M. G.!

Well, as Gabrielle can attest, I have a crappy camera that never works when I need/want it to so I wasn't able to take photos on it (although I did take pictures with my cell phone, only I don't have the internet on my phone). But OMG, the friend who told me about the damages in no way prepared me for what I came home to. She said, "Of course there are branches on the ground." Uh, yeah. I have about a quarter of an acre here (large for a subdivision lot) and there is no ground that isn't covered. And we're not talking any pansy ass small limbs, we're talking big huge honking limbs that make walking through the backyard impossible. Not to mention, the french doors are blocked by branches.

She also failed to mention (although not a big deal) that the dog house has been up-ended. I've been wanting to get rid of it so I'm really okay with that. But the 40 feet of fence that is down? Uh, try about 100 feet of fence down! And the posts are snapped off - not uprooted, broken.

But with all that, amazingly, no windows were broken.

SCG and his family are coming out within the next hour to help clean up my yard and repair my fence. He lives in a brand new home and mine is 25 years old and in need of a facelift. I'm not really comfortable with him seeing my house but I'm so so so so so grateful for him for helping me because I couldn't do this on my own.

I do have electricity and enough water for a few days - hopefully enough to last until the "boil water order" is lifted. No cable though (which was a disappointment to SCG's daughter lol).

Anyway, so that's how things are here. I'm home and grateful for what I have - including good friends. :)

Pity Party

I really shouldn't post today because I'm a bit depressed. I evacuated my home because of Hurricane Ike and the officials are saying I can't go back yet. Now, I could be a rebel and go home anyway but I'll be traveling with three large dogs and a donut spare tire but I've been hearing about all the flat tires because of the debris on the roads because of Ike. Too much of the drive home is barren for me to want to venture out under those conditions.

Not to mention, I don't have power or water at home. Power was restored Sunday but sometime between then and now, we lost it again.

Add to that, part of my fence is down. That wouldn't be a big deal if I didn't have the three big dogs I previously mentioned. I don't know how that's even going to work. So even if I go - and get - home, I have to deal with that. Well, that and the part of the tree on my roof and the chimney that is now part of my backyard decor.

I feel bad whining because it could have been so much worse and I know people who do have it worse - like my old boss who has a tree in his dining room. Or my friend who lost part of her roof. Or the people of Galveston who don't have homes to go back to. Compared to those people, I have it good. . . real good.

At least I have friends - good friends. There's the friend that went to my house and made note of the damages. There's SCG who offered to come help me with the tree and the fence as soon as I get home. And I've heard from so many people the past few days, checking in and making sure I'm okay and safe. That's really a nice feeling.

But even with all that, I want to go home - to my home. I want to be in my house cleaning up my mess and getting things back to normal. There was a time when coming to Arkansas was a vacation to me but it's not like that anymore and it's not like that now. Not knowing when I can go home or when things will be back to normal has been very stressful for me. I wish I could just go with the flow but it's not working, try as I might.

In any event, that's my current status - whine officially over (for now). When I'm feeling a bit peppier, remind me to tell you my list of things to be sure to pack when evacuating and about the spider the size of Nebraska.

Fight or Flight?

I'm not a confrontational type of person. If something bothers me, I usually won't say anything - I hold it in, thinking the situation will get better or right itself somehow. It takes a lot for me to "unburden" myself of my frustrations - to the point of when I do finally "snap", the person on the receiving end is probably thinking I'm some sort of psycho because whatever it was that pushed me over the edge was something they'd been doing for forever.

Yeah, I'm one of those people.

So, in that regard, I guess I'm a flight girl. I don't really like that about myself but it's something I know about myself.

But then, I learned something about myself this week. I guess I already knew it but it was really brought home to me in this situation.

Secret Crush Guy (SCG) and I had a little "situation" this week. And in case I haven't mentioned it here, mine and SCG's relationship has become one of close friends. There's no more of the awkwardness because I have inappropriate feelings for him, because those feelings are - not gone but re-channeled, for lack of a better word. He's among the top five closest friends I've ever had, and it's not one-sided and I feel comfortable with it because his wife is a part of the equation - we've become friends too. Everything's out in the open and there are no secrets (well, except that I once lusted after her husband but then again, that was never out in the open to SCG either so...).

But back to the situation. We usually walk out together after work - or at the very least, stop by the other's office to tell them we're leaving . . . without them. Yesterday he was in an all day meeting and was taking today off so I totally expected him to slip out as soon as his meeting was over - but I still expected him to tell me he was leaving. Only he didn't. It's not a big deal or anything but I was kind of surprised, especially since he was going to be out today. So, I sent him a text message that said "I cannot believe you ditched me!!!"

He responded with "I dont want to tell you the details. You may not forgive me." *typos are his

I immediately called him up and said I wanted the details. He laughed and said he was meeting Brenda at Pappadeaux for drinks.

Now, I know that doesn't sound like a big deal but it was like a knife to my heart. Let me start off by saying, I don't care who he is friends with - I honestly don't. It's none of my business. Ditto for what he does with those friends. What bothered me was I really cannot stand Brenda and he knows that. (For what it's worth, he's not particularly a fan of hers either, which I think played into my reaction as well.) We've also - recently - talked about going out for drinks after work but he's commented that he's a big flirt and a tease when he drinks (which of course is what I want to see in action because I think it would be hysterical - not because I want that directed at me . . . his wife is an invited guest to the event, should it ever happen) and I think he's afraid he would embarrass himself too much. Anyway, I knew there was more to the story than what he'd told me but I was upset because he would use her and drinking to get a rise out of me - which is what he wanted to do. So in essence, he deliberately upset me, which is why I was so upset. I seriously thought I was going to start bawling on the phone so I told him I was going to hang up "now". He laughed again and I said bye and he started saying something as I hung up on him.

It took long enough for him to realize I'd hung up and for him to dial me back up before my phone rang. I clicked on "ignore" and deleted the message he left without listening to it - which I've never done before, by the way. He sent me another text that said "I was tearing you. We are having our project management conference dinner. Cant believe you hung up!" *again, typos are his and it took me awhile to realize "tearing" was supposed to be teasing!

I didn't respond. He called again but didn't leave a message that time.

I was upset all night and then had bad dreams about it. I know it doesn't seem like a lot but it really bothered me. Anyway, he called me first thing this morning. I decided to take the call and just said Hello. He said, "What's your problem?" Now, I should point out that he said it more in a playful voice but given the circumstances, it wasn't funny to me - at all. In fact, I had that "I'm going to start bawling" feeling again. So I took a deep breath and said, "Wow. Nice way to start the conversation." He laughed. It still wasn't going over well with me so I said, "I'm going to hang up now." He asked me something about why I was hanging up on him and I took another deep breath and said I didn't want to talk to him just then. He asked why. I said bye and I hung up.

And here's the deal. I was in flight mode. Not just from the confrontation but I was also checking out of the friendship - completely. Last night when I went to bed I was thinking it was the end of our friendship - that's how hurt I was - and is why I think I had the bad dreams. I woke up this morning deciding that, in fairness to him, we needed to talk about it - which is why I took his call. But then his opening comment . . . well, I already told you how that went. I immediately went into flight mode again - from the confrontation and from the friendship. I was going to let the weekend pass without contacting him but I talked to a mutual friend of ours and she said she thought our friendship was good enough but if I waited too long, irreparable damage could be done. She didn't think I should wait over the weekend to contact him. So I texted him and said "Shorthand version-not mad you just really hurt my feelings by deliberate actions-deliberate being the key word. didn't want to cry so hung up." He responded with "Sorry. It was meant as tease. I would never deliberately hurt your feelings."

Okay, I know he wouldn't deliberately hurt my feelings. I know that. I also knew he was teasing me. It was just that his actions were deliberate, and he did want a reaction from me - just not the one I gave him.

Anyway, there has been no further communication because I had to take the dogs to the vet and I didn't have another opportunity but I still feel like our friendship took a hard hit. But I'm really stunned that my reaction was (and, to be honest, still kind of is) a flight one because he really is a good friend of mine. I think one of the problems is he's an "instant" communicator. He's told me that him and his wife leave nothing unsaid - and I think that played a part in his wanting to talk about this but I don't work like that. Me? I need time to regroup. I have to think on things a while so that I don't blurt out the first thing that comes to mind because those are the things that are only meant for that one split second that you're saying them but can really do irreparable damage to the relationship. You know what I mean? So I guess that's what I'm fleeing. I don't want to have the conversation. Hmm, guess I probably need to get over that, if I want to save the friendship.

What about you? Do you fight or (take) flight? Not just in confrontations but in relationships. Inquiring minds want to know.

Conference

Well, I got back last evening from conference and I was exhausted. I'm finally getting my energy back this evening. And in a good news/bad news kind of thing, I also get tomorrow off to further recuperate - Tropical Storm Edouard is expected to pass over us tomorrow so the site has closed for tomorrow.

Anyway, I'm going to try to get as much as I can about conference in this post, pictures and additional details may follow in future posts though. I'll start by saying that after Atlanta, I posted a list of things I'd learned in Atlanta and I just have to say that, when you have the same roommate, some of the things continue to hold true. That's all I'm saying.

Okay, so, I left home Saturday morning, dropped the dogs off at the kennel and headed towards the airport. When I got to the parking lot to leave my car, I was told that valet parking was all that was available. They said it was the same price as me parking the car so I said fine. Wasn't crazy about leaving my keys with someone who knew I was going to be gone eight days (I had to tell them that). I wrote down my mileage (and thanked God that I'd told my neighbor that no matter what he was told - I was NOT moving last week!) and got on the bus to the airport.

You know how you send your purse through the x-ray machine? Well, any time they run it through several times, it's not a good thing. I have a metal nail file I'd forgotten to take out (remembered on the return trip though - yes they let me keep it, which surprised me) that has a sharp point to it. When they asked me what I had in my purse with a sharp point, I told them my nail file. They picked it up with two fingers (well a finger and a thumb) and carried it over to this table where they proceeded to wipe it down so they could test it for bomb components residue (I asked). When the test came up negative (big surprise there HA! although I freaked a little when the alarm on the machine went off - obviously indicating an all clear), they gingerly (two fingered again) unzipped the area I told them held the offending nail file, made a visual and then released me to go - file intact.

Caught my flight and sat next to a man who told me a story of how the last time he went home (he lives in Washington but was working in Houston), his neighbor died in his arms. I didn't know what to say to that, but of course he didn't wait for one, and instead told me - in great detail - how it all happened. Now, I won't bore you all with the details but I just want to say that, in the end, his neighbor is alive and well but apparently has medical issues.

I made it to SF and caught the shuttle bus to the B&B I stayed at the first part of the week. It's a very nice B&B and gave me a visual and lots of info on how a B&B can work. Considering one of my stories is set in a B&B, I consider that a good thing - a very good thing.

Gabrielle arrived later that evening and she and her friend, Tamara, drove me around SF, including the Golden Gate Bridge (GGB). I whipped out my camera to get a night time shot of the GGB, only to get a great shot of the back of Gabrielle's head. I'm good with a camera like that. When I tried to get a second shot of the bridge, the battery was dead. *sigh* We drove around some more and then headed back to the B&B.

I should point out that the B&B had four guests rooms and only two bathrooms. That first night there and the next morning proved to be interesting in the way of getting to actually use the bathrooms. Kind of comical in the way of doors opening and closing and peeking out to see if it was "free".

That night I had a bizarre dream that involved my co-workers and bad people. In the dream I was standing across the street from my house with the bad man chasing me. My neighbor's garage door and front door were open so I thought if I called out to him, he could save me from the bad man. Well, you know how when you try to scream out in a dream but nothing will come out? That wasn't really a problem in my dream. I mean, it was a little choked out but it was still a pretty darn loud scream of "MARTIN, HELP!!!!" I woke up with a start, then realizing that I'd actually screamed out loud, I froze, waiting to see if I'd woken Gabrielle up. I sat there for a couple of minutes and she didn't move or show any signs of having heard me. Then I realized, while she might be a heavy sleeper, the other guests of the B&B might not be so I strained to hear any activity in the rest of the house. Nothing. No one was coming to save me from the bad guys. Which, since I wasn't really in jeopardy, was okay - I'm glad I didn't wake anyone. On the other hand, what if I had really been in trouble? I would've been so screwed - and not in a good way. Just saying.

Anyway, the next morning we got up to a wonderful breakfast and headed out to see the sights. We went into town and got a week-long bus pass, which pretty much covered all methods of transportation in SF. We took a trolley down to Fisherman's Wharf and spent the afternoon (along with a good amount of money) walking around there. The camera ran out of space before long and I started deleting shots that I couldn't really tell what they were. (Seeing what I have left, I may have deleted the wrong ones. *sigh*) Oh, and we saw the Naked Cowboy. He was on one side of the street, while on the other, someone was preaching the hell, fire and brimstone speech. It was kind of interesting.

We caught a couple of buses and made our way back towards the B&B, but not before stopping by a little coffee shop around the corner, where we discovered they had internet and food. The quiche looked good to me so I had them give me one to go because I wasn't hungry at that moment. (I ended up giving it to the host at the B&B before we left because, well, turns out there isn't a microwave at the B&B, not to mention, I was never hungry in the evening when it would have been convenient to eat it. It looked really good though.)

We didn't have any issues with the bathroom that night - or the next morning for that matter. One lady and a couple had checked out but another couple and another lady had checked in. The next morning I went upstairs to take my shower and came across the new lady. I just said hello in passing on the way to the bathroom but on the way out, she stopped me. Turns out she was there for the conference as well. A nice lady from Canada. She has some sightseeing she wanted to do and it worked out well because Gabrielle was wanting to take a break from all the walking, plus she wanted to do some writing. However, the three of us took a bus to town and Heather Ann (the other guest) and I deposited Gabrielle at Borders while we went on the Victorian Homes tour. (Very nice tour, by the way. We saw the house where Mrs. Doubtfire was filmed. It was interesting to find out that all the house scenes were filmed inside that house - with the exception of the kitchen scenes, and only because the kitchen wasn't big enough to fit the camera equipment inside it and the owner wasn't willing to let their walls be knocked down. They were, however, willing to let farm animals be brought in for the party scene!) I whipped out my camera to show a picture of the Naked Cowboy to Heather Ann only to discover that my camera battery was dead - again. I purchased a disposable camera at that point and gave up on my digital for the remainder of the trip.

Afterwards, Heather Ann and I collected Gabrielle and had lunch at Lori's Diner. We left there and took a bus to Coit Tower and then worked our way down through a quaint little neighborhood and saw the wild parrots flying overhead.

The next day, Gabrielle was on a roll and wanted to do some more writing to Heather Ann and I headed out. We went first to Haight and Asbury. We spent some time there and got hit up for money and asked to sign a petition to help the homeless.

From there we went to Golden Gate Park where we walked around for what seemed like forever (we later looked at the map and discovered we hadn't seen one quarter of the park!) and ended up at the Conservatory. We walked around there for a while and then caught a bus to the GGB (by the way, if you need directions in SF, just open a city map and people will come to you and offer directions). Having been told we could catch a bus on the other side, we walked across the GGB, only to find that no one seemed to know anything about where we might catch that bus on the other side. Several calls and many attempts to stop taxis later, we found the bus and rode into Sausalito. We walked around the town (cute town, by the way) and then caught the ferry back.

We made our way back to the B&B where we all agreed we were exhausted. But, I wanted a margarita so Gabrielle went online and located a place that sounded good for a margarita. So we walked the 20 miles uphill (both ways) to the margarita place, only to discover that they didn't have the strawberry margarita I wanted - so I had water instead. Yeah, I know, how do you go from a margarita to water, I don't know - but it isn't the first time that's happened. We still had a good time though.

Wednesday we (Gabrielle and I - Heather Ann stayed at the B&B for the duration) checked out of the B&B and headed over to the hotel - first thing. And by first thing, I mean around 9:30 a.m. Unfortunately our room wasn't ready until almost 3:00 p.m. Ugh!

Anyway, once we finally got in our room, we got ready for the Literacy Signing. (You know, I'm wondering now if we did something I can't remember because we were actually late to the signing.) By this point, our third roommate, Linda Carol, had joined us. I had a plan. . . you see, I was the official stalker of the conference this year.

I headed straight over to Amanda Ashby and introduced myself as her official stalker (she'd actually known about it for months - I was just making it official at the signing). She offered me a Tim Tam and well, despite what I'd previously heard, they are the best chocolate I've ever had. Let me just say, if I hadn't already committed to stalking her, that would have done it. OMG they're so good.

I was working the signing so I hung around to the end. I don't want to bad mouth anyone but um, the clean up was handled completely differently this year and it wasn't the most organized thing I've ever seen. This may have been my last year to volunteer for that.

That was followed up by the RWAOnline Chapter party, where I beelined for (and therefore ate more) Tim Tams.

Thursday morning, Linda Carol and I took a bus up to Twin Peaks. We got back just in time for the luncheon. You know, I had never read Victoria Alexander, but I will now! OMG that woman is hysterical. A few days later I ran across someone trying to find the goody room. It sounded like a good idea to check it out again so I offered to walk with her there. I hadn't realized who it was at the time but it was Victoria Alexander. Very nice lady.

Anyway, Thursday I either did workshops or book signings - maybe both, I'd have to check. That evening, I went to the Diva Dinner. It was a lot of fun. Met a lot of fun, interesting people. :)

Friday was filled with workshops and book signings. That evening I went to a party hosted by a Houston writer. Had a lot of fun.

Saturday was more workshops and book signings - plus, I finally got my margarita! The awards ceremony was fun, followed by dessert and a visit to the bar (no drink for me though) before I went to bed to get a couple of hours sleep before I had to get up to catch the shuttle bus back to the airport (left at 4:25 a.m. - and the lines at the airport were surprising LONG! at that hour).

Went to pick up my babies before I headed home, where I promptly became a couch potato, until about an hour ago, when I started this post. :)

I took today off and, as I said, get tomorrow off as well. All in all, a good conference. :)

Lasting Relationships

A long, long time ago I heard (or was told) that women set the tone of a romantic relationship. For example, if the guy starts out by walking on her and she just takes it from him, she's setting herself up to be treated that way for the rest of the relationship - however long it may last. If, down the line, she decides she's had enough, the man it taken aback and balks at it because he can't understand why something he's been doing from day one is suddenly a problem. He'll tell the woman she's the problem and probably convince her of that. I think I read somewhere that, statistically, married men lived longer than single men and single women lived longer than married women. Why is that? Someone said it was because the men were sucking the life out of the women but, well...

For the most part, I really like being single. I don't have to account to another human being for my actions. I can come and go as I please. I can spend my income any way I choose. I just have a lot of freedom. And I enjoy that.

On the other hand, when things aren't perfect and I need help, there's just me to figure things out. When things get bad at work and I'd rather ram sharp objects in my eyes while crawling over red-hot coals on my stomach, I have to suck it up and go into the office because working is not an option for me - I have to work.

All this is leading up to reunion guy (Don) and my online dating experience. Last weekend I was a bit giddy about having been "reunited" with Don. It was a lot of fun discussing old times and how we each perceived things. I felt completely at ease with him - totally comfortable. He gave me his phone number and email address. I felt comfortable emailing him from my personal email - I didn't create a phony one for this purpose. I didn't immediately offer up my phone number though, because he didn't ask for it. I also had no intention of calling him - I was raised that you don't call men, and for the most part I don't.

At the urging of many people, I finally offered up my home number to him without his asking for it. (I gave him the home number because any other number and he could/would be calling me at work and things are just too busy there for that now.) I also threw something in that email saying something to the effect of that we'd covered enough ancient history and asked about his life over the last 25 years. I specifically told him that I'd love to hear about his wife (who passed away a couple of years ago) and daughter, if he was comfortable talking about them. Yet, he seems stuck in the past. The only things I've learned about Don and the past 25 years is that his wife passed away, that he has a daughter and that he's working for a chemical company - and I learned all that from his profile. The only new information I've gotten from him is the name of the company he works for and I only got that because he sent me email from his work!

He keeps bringing up my marriage. I shared with him some of the things my ex and I went through before we got married and why I still married him, despite having doubts about him - and he seems to be focusing on that. Seems to be looking at it as I'm broken now and need to be fixed - and that he's the one to fix me. First email like that had me responding with "let me just clarify" and I proceeded to explain that I was giving him an example - not complaining about my life. He responded with something that came across like maybe I was in denial - but he could help with that. My reaction was to back way off.

He informed me that he was going to call me Wednesday evening - or at least try to. I wasn't at all upset when he didn't. I got an email from him Thursday suggesting he might call that night (he didn't come right out and say that but I got that from the email), so I came home from work and unplugged my phone. Then, about 9:15 Thursday night, I got an email from him telling me to get ready for his call, which would be coming soon. Normally, the time would tick me off but he was at work and I totally get that. No, my problem was that he just expected me to be home waiting for his email and call. Totally ticked me off.

He sent an email yesterday morning saying he'd tried to call and asked when he could call during the day yesterday - and could we meet up today. I responded, letting him know that I had unplugged my phone and intended to stay home this weekend, relaxing. I think I was pretty nice about it while also getting my point across - I wasn't going to see him this weekend. I got an email from him this morning telling me he wouldn't have been able to see me today anyway. It came across as his idea. Whatever. He also asked, again, when he can call. I haven't responded.

Then there's his pictures. He looks old. I know that shouldn't matter, but it does - apparently. I showed them to a couple of friends of mine (including SCG - yes I told him everything . . . everything) and they all think he looks about 20 years older than I do. That's a problem for me, for so many reasons. But, a good friend and SCG both think I should still give him a chance. Why? I have no idea.

Meanwhile, I'm wondering what it will cost to have my home number and email address changed...

In Shock!

I told a friend of mine yesterday that I'd blog about an eHarmony discovery I made. I didn't blog about it last night because, well, I was re-reading old posts to see if I needed to delete and/or amend any posts before I gave it out to someone (from eHarmony) who'd trusted me with their myspace information. And well, since this has always been a "secret" blog, I've kind of been pretty open on it so I wasn't sure if I should give it out "as is", if you know what I mean. I read about a year's worth of posts and didn't see anything I thought was particularly bad (although I do know of one dated further back that I wouldn't necessarily show this person).

I didn't post this morning because I was too busy replying to an email from this person. But I'm here now.

Anyway, remember eHarmony match Don? The one I thought I might know? It is him! At each step I worried that he would close the match before I found out for certain but I decided that, no matter what, I had to be honest in my answers (although I did keep in mind that I might know this person). As things progressed I thought to myself that if it wasn't the Don I knew, it was a Don I thought I wanted to get to know. So either way, I didn't want the match to be closed.

Thing was, he always seemed to take a few days to respond to things so it seemed like it was really going slow. I guess I had posed some questions to him and was waiting on a response when he gave me a photo nudge without responding to the questions. I thought the match might get closed at that point because it seems to be pretty important to some of the guys on there. And in case I haven't mentioned it before, I put in my profile that I don't have a picture to post so if someone wanted to close a match based on that, it was okay with me because they wouldn't be a good fit for me anyway - words to that effect. My response, though, was to give him a photo nudge. He has photos posted but to be shown "at a later stage" (we've exchanged email addresses and I still can't see them!). I guess he got the message because he responded to the questions and we progressed from there.

At the open-ended questions phase, I asked him about his extended family and what holidays were like. I figured his answer would give me a better idea whether it was the Don I thought it was or not. I was all but convinced by his response but there was a sliver of doubt there. I asked a couple of friends of mine what they thought - whether I should ask him or not tell him I suspected I knew him. They didn't think I should ask but I felt it would be dishonest to not ask. I didn't want to play games. Figured the worst thing that would happen is he would close the match - without answering!

Since I've already mentioned that it is him and that we've exchanged email addresses, I think it's safe to assume he responded to me. It's been fun catching up with an old friend. It's been hysterical to hear how we viewed things that happened differently. I just found out yesterday that it was him but we've exchanged a couple of long emails and I guess it seems longer. Plus, it almost feels like no time has passed since we were last spoke (a hundred years ago!). It's just kind of weird but I can't stop smiling. :)

Sucked in

A friend of mine is a huge fan of The Bachelor series. I'd never really watched it but the little bits I'd seen, well, I just didn't get it. Really didn't get it. But I know lots of people have to get it because it's been around for a while. Anyway, right now I couldn't tell you to save my life what made me decide to watch The Bachelorette this season - but I did. And I'm hooked. I want to know who DeAnna picks and if it's a love match or just a potential love match. I've been amazed at the choices she's made. Not because I thought they were good choices but because I didn't get them. I don't get the appeal of Graham. Never have. A person's personality can make them more or less attractive to me and Graham seemed lacking in that area - to me - so he was never this sexy thing that everyone seems see. I've been stunned at how long he's lasted. Now, I will say that on the home town dates he showed a different side of himself - something we haven't seen on air before. THAT Graham was fun and sexy. Until they sat on the bench to talk, when his appeal bottomed out again. I'm telling you, if Graham hadn't been the one to go Monday I would have lost all enthusiasm I've been getting for the show.

On the other hand, I'm just a little bit in love with Jesse now. He doesn't have classic good looks by any means but he's a good guy. He's the kind of guy you can have fun with, who would respect you, and who would take care of you. Major sexy in my book. And when they walked into his house and he explained that thing on the wall about the foundation for kids, it really touched me. It brought a smile to my heart and a tear to my eye. That's when I fell in love with him. Plus, I LOVED his parents. Seriously, they were great. His dad came out in a cap that had long hair attached to it, as a joke. Just shows they have great senses of humor and lots of personality. You see where Jesse gets it from. I didn't really get the labeling in his kitchen and I have to be honest, from what I've been hearing about it and others' reaction to it, I'm thinking it could be something that, over time, could result in justifiable homicide. But at the time I wasn't thinking like that. And since he's so respectful of the people in his life, he might be willing to give that up...especially if it could save his life. ;) I think Jesse has a good shot at being DeAnna's top choice.

Jason is another contender for DeAnna's heart. For me, though, he lost me early on. On the very first night I fell a little in love with him but once he had some alone time with DeAnna and he didn't tell her about his son, he lost me. My friend, the one who got me hooked, keeps telling me that they never know when they're going to be interrupted so she can forgive him for that. Okay, I can see that. BUT, when he got the one-on-one date he wasn't as open as I thought he should be. It was like her opinion of it mattered to him. As if, if she had a problem with it he would get rid of his son. Seriously, that's how it came across to me. I fell instantly OUT of love with him at that point. He won points back when he was there for her after she'd let Robert and Fred both go, but not enough for him to be the sexy, appealing man he'd once been to me. My friend fell in love with him on the home town visit and thinks DeAnna should choose him. She also doesn't think DeAnna would have brought him this far along if she wasn't going to pick him - because of his son. He's a bit of a dud to me.

Then there's Jeremy. I don't really know what to think of him. He's just kind of there for me. Not appealing. Not sexy. But not, NOT either of those things either. But listening to her the other night she kept saying, "he's just perfect. he has the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect (whatever)". And all I could think was, nothing's perfect. My advice to DeAnna is, if it looks too good to be true, it probably is. There were just things on the home town date that just gave me the creeps about Jeremy. There are some that think Jeremy will go the distance but for the life of me, I can't see why.

Oh, but the point of the blog was, my friend was telling her boyfriend how funny it was that I'd never watched the show and now I can't wait until Monday nights to see what DeAnna does with the men. I mean, I really still don't get the appeal of the show but I'll be there Monday night, watching with the rest of America.

P.S. I was going to tell you how my friend has also got me watching So You Think You Can Dance (another show I don't get the appeal of) but this blog post ran longer than I meant for it to so maybe another time..... ;)

The blog about nothing

Remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine invited George's girlfriend to the movie? George was upset because his two "worlds" were colliding. Well, I have a similar situation going on at work. See, I used to talk about my friends from law to my friends in engineering and vice versa. Then recently part of my group moved their offices down by law AND a friend of mine from law came upstairs to my area and met SCG. Worlds are colliding!!!

Speaking of work, things are not much better there and I'm picking up old habits. You know, of the eating-under-stress variety. I've gained ten pounds in the last month. I still went to Weight Watchers though (and had to pay) because I figured if I was having to pay for it, I'd get more motivated to get the weight back off.

And since we're talking about getting the weight back off, I should mention that I've been going to the gym the last few days (7-day free pass to 24-hour fitness gym). Water aerobics and yoga may look like wimpy classes but they both kicked my rear! The step-aerobic class I took this morning had less of an impact than they did. I'm thinking of joining for the summer, since I don't anticipate having a lot of time in the fall - what with school and all. The company I work for gets a good discount on memberships.

This online dating thing is going slow. I guess it was last weekend that I decided to take the bull by the horns and quit waiting for things to happen. I went through the 50+ "matches" that were open and either closed them or sent out questions. I've only heard back from two or three - one of which closed the match because they were pursuing another relationship. One of the ones I closed replied back that they thought we had potential and wanted me to reconsider. I re-read his profile and I only see two things that would have made me close the match - but one was a biggie. And there is one match who I think I may know:

Don is a 50 year old laboratory analyst - the age fits. We went to the same church (it's a huge church so that doesn't guarantee that I know him). He was married for 23 years when his wife passed away last year - which would be about right (length of marriage, that is) if it were who I think it is. He did mission work - again fits the man I know. Where he lives fits, as do his answers to my questions. He has pictures but they haven't been released for me to view yet so... Oh and if it is the guy I think it is, we went out once many, many years ago. I thought it was a "as friends" thing but, apparently, he thought it was a "date". We had a very nice time but he never "invited" me out like that again. After I married (anniversary was 25 years ago this past Wednesday), I saw him and he confessed to me that he'd had strong feelings for me. I don't think I ever suspected that but I do know that when he told me I'd wished I'd known at the time because he was such a good guy. Meanwhile, I'm just waiting for the time when I know for sure if this the same Don or not.

So, those are some things going on in my world. What's going on in yours?

School's out for Summer!

...well, not exactly. I still have one more test tomorrow. I won't call it a final since it's not comprehensive. But still, a test is a test.

I took my final (it was somewhat comprehensive) in Shakespeare Thursday night. She had given us a study guide which would include all of the actual questions on the test. Thing was, you wouldn't know which ones would be on the test you got so you had to study for all of them. There were two questions each on King Lear, Cymbeline and Shakespeare's Sonnets. Each test (however many versions there were) would have one of the two questions from each play/sonnet on the exam. Then there were four essay questions that covered all the material we'd studied this semester. We would be getting two on our exam and would have to write up a five paragraph comparison paper on one of them.

Okay, so I started studying. One of the questions on Cymbeline and one of the questions on the Sonnets covered things I had no idea what she was talking about. I emailed her and asked her about those questions and turns out, the "background" information she gave us in class wasn't just "fluff" information...it was on the test! She pointed me in the direction of how to find out what they meant and what she wanted, which was good. But, it made me not want to see them on the test I got.

Then, Wednesday night I spoke with friend of mine from class and we discussed what we might put on the test for a few answers. She had me doubting what I'd put on that one Sonnet question that I'd had to email the teacher about and one of them from King Lear. So now I had one question from each play/sonnet that I did NOT want to see on my test.

The night of the test we (my friend and I) were talking before class. I said that I had a fear that the two essay questions I was totally unprepared for were going to be on my exam (I was good to go on the other two - well, mostly anyway). She tells me that she's had an epiphany on one of the questions I'm saying I'm afraid will be on the test - and then she tells me what that epiphany is. I can see it but I'm still hoping it won't be on my test.

So, the instructor shows up and starts handing out the tests. I got Exam B. It consisted of the three questions I didn't want to see on my test and the two essay questions that I feared would be on my exam. That's when I had a semi turrets-like outburst and started saying some very unladylike words. I mean, what are the odds of that happening (the things on the test, I mean)?

Anyway, I decided to go with my gut reaction to the questions that my friend had made me question myself on and did my best on the third. Actually, I felt pretty okay with what I'd put down. Then, when it came to the essay portion of the exam, I totally stole my friend's epiphany. I figured it was a very slim chance that she had the same question on her exam - it's very possible that there were only two versions of the exam out there and that one test had the questions I had and the other had all the other questions on it - and even if she did have it on her exam, the instructor knew we were friends and could have figured we'd studied together to come up with the same outline.

I called my friend after class and told her what I'd done. She was totally okay with it, saying if it weren't for my notes that I'd given her, she wouldn't have had the epiphany and it wasn't one of the options on her test.

So, don't know how well I did but I felt okay at the end of the day. I got my paper back (the one I re-wrote a couple of times *sigh*) and got an A- on it. She made the following comments on it:

"Laura - I still stand by my comments that I made at our meeting about how this paper could be improved. In general, it is more interesting to focus on why characters do things, not what they do --and to delve into characterizations. You've certainly done that here; I'm just trying to get you to focus less on what and more on why. In the case of the Queen it is simpler, but with Edmund he is more complex and the paper could explore that more. That said, your writing is, as always, fluent, elegant, and easy to read --and your argument is well-structured -- no small achievement!"

Overall, pretty nice comments. It did, however, make me wonder if I would have gotten a better grade if I'd never gone to see her - that maybe I was somewhat penalized for not quite capturing what we'd discussed - not that I got a bad grade or anything, it just made me wonder. Anyway, I'd also gone into her office prior to the class and asked a couple of questions. I'd told her that I had registered for her fall class already and hoped that wasn't a problem. You see, I've worried about being one of "those" students because I keep asking questions and going to see her on papers and having a different viewpoint/interpretation on the stories and videos we've read/seen. But, she told me that I was one of the best students she'd had all semester and she'd love to have me in another one of her classes. So I left feeling pretty good in general.

So, one more test and then I AM done for the summer. Margaritas on me! ;-)

Spotlight on...Laura Drewry

I first met Laura Drewry in Reno in 2005. It was at the Moonlight Madness event at RWA's National Conference. I was working the booth for my local chapter and Laura was hanging out with another writer, Jessica Trapp. Dawn Temple (whose book is now out but she'd just found out she'd sold right before the conference) was trying to take a picture with me and I didn't want my picture taken. Well, she put her arm around me and put her cheek up to mine and said something about what the photo would represent. This was about the time Laura was walking up and she overheard the comment. Let's just say the look on her face was priceless. I burst out laughing and the picture was snapped, and then I officially met Laura. I don't think she remembers it - and that's okay - but that's when I officially became a Laura Drewry stalker-fan. And I can't wait to stalk her again in San Francisco this summer. :-)

Laura's latest book, The Devil's Daughter, is out this week. I have my copy already and can't wait to sit down and read it. I've loved her previous books and know I will love this one too.

Anyway, I did a little "interview" (online style) with her, and here it is below.

Tell us about your story.

The Devil’s Daughter will do whatever it takes to win her freedom, even if it means claiming the soul of sexy Jed Caine. There’s no question he wants her, but he wants more than just her body; he wants her heart, too, and he’ll settle for nothing less. His stubborn ways and gentle touches are too much – even for the devil’s own daughter. She was sent to steal his soul, yet there he is. . .capturing her heart.

How is she ever going to explain this to her father??

What's a typical day like for you?

Once I get the little darlings off to school, I take my breakfast and coffee up to my office and spend a little time reading emails, catching up on computer stuff and, yes, okay, playing a few rounds of Spider Solitaire or Mah Jong. But I try to make sure I’m down to work by 9:30, and then I do whatever I need to be doing. Sometimes it’s researching, sometimes it’s working on my newsletter, and sometimes –though not nearly often enough – I actually write! LOL I go until about 2:30 when I have to go get the little darlings and once I do that, the rest of my day is usually shot, so I try to get as much done as I possibly can before they get home. Sometimes I can get more done after supper, but by the time we get through that and any homework they might have, my brain is pretty frazzled.

How long have you been writing? How many books did you write before you sold?

I’ve always been scribbling in some form or another, but I didn’t make the conscious decision that I wanted to write novels until about ten or eleven years ago. I was 8 months pregnant with Darling #2 and we’d just moved hundreds of miles away from our families, so it seemed like a good time to start. LOL I had written 3 complete novels before I sold one. The first two were (are) total crap, but each a great learning experience in its own way. The third one sold to Hilary Sares at Kensington in September ’04.

What is the best part of writing for you?

My favourite parts are writing the beginning and the end. The beginning, because . . .well. . .because it’s a new beginning. Everything is fresh and anything is possible at that point. I love writing the ending because I’ve been waiting so long to see my characters finally reach their happily ever after and I finally get to write it. Of course, having said that, I hate writing the ending because I know it’s the end and I have to wave those characters goodbye. It’s like saying goodbye to a good friend.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

LOL Every book, to date, has been written completely by the seat of my pants. I enjoy the not-knowing, the adventure, and the excitement of discovering who my characters are page by page. However. . . after this last book I just handed in to my editor, I now know that I need to try a different track. I will never be one of those people who is able to plot everything, scene for scene, but I spend so much time rewriting, editing, rewriting, editing and rewriting some more that I could probably write 3 plotted books in the time it takes me to write 1 by the seat of my pants. So I am making a concerted effort to find a way to plot my next book that won’t be too restrictive.

What was it like getting "the call"? Who was the first person you told?

Oooh, I love “call” stories. LOL My call came on September 7 2004. I’d just dropped the older 2 at school and then met a friend for coffee. When I got home, I had a voice mail and an email from Hilary Sares. Saying I was stunned is like saying the ocean is deep. Once I was able to pick my jaw up off the floor, I set my 4-year old up in front of the TV with a snack and shook like the proverbial leaf while I called Hilary back. To be honest, I don’t actually remember most of the conversation. It was more like a dream than anything else. But the moment I hung up from that call, I called my husband who was out of town. Got his voice mail.

Called each one of my 3 sisters. Got voice mail EVERY TIME.

Called my friend Wendy who gave me the shove to write way back when. Yup, you guessed it – voice mail.

I thought I’d go crazy!

What advice would you give to aspiring writers?

If you want to write, and I mean *really* want to write, then do it. Don’t go at it half-heartedly and don’t think for one second it’s going to be a cake-walk, because it’s not. If you want to write, then write. Literally and figuratively, just write. Sit your butt in your chair and write. Do it any way that works for you, whether that means starting at page 1 and writing straight thru to page 400 or if it means writing the middle of the book first. It doesn’t matter. Just write it. Don’t let yourself get caught up in all the stuff that happens online. Yes, in today’s world, you really should be part of it, but it’s too easy to get distracted with online groups and the latest scandal rocking the writing world.

If you want to write, and I mean *really* want to write, then do it. Write. Study your favourite authors, take classes if you can, and learn as much as you can. And while you’re doing this, write. And then write some more. The only way to get better is to practice, and there’s no other way to practice than to just write.

Where do you get your story ideas? What inspires you?

People inspire me. If you sit down in the middle of a park or a mall or something and just watch, it’s amazing what you see. That man’s trying not to yell into his cell phone; that lady’s laughing at something her friend just said; the couple over there looks like they’re breaking up; and that girl over there is crying.

Why? Who are they? What has happened up to this point in their lives to get them to this place?

There’s such a range of emotions all around us every day, from the lowest of the low to the height of happiness, and as we all know, you have to experience the lowest of the low to truly appreciate the heights of happiness, so how do people get from the low to the high, and what roadblocks do they have to get around before they get there?

How much of a role did contests play in your quest for publication?

Funny you should ask. I entered two stories in the Laurie contest in the spring of ’04 and placed 2^nd and 3^rd behind my friend Teresa Bodwell, who won. One of the final round judges was Hilary Sares, who had just bought the book Teresa won with, so that gave me a little head way. Hilary asked to see the complete of my 2^nd place finish and the rest, as they say, is history.

What do you wish you'd known before you reached where you are now - and would it have made a difference in the steps you've taken to get there?

Oooh, boy. LOL I started to answer this question, then stopped and deleted what I’d written. The truth is, I have stumbled my way through this, taking wrong turns and detours and somehow finding my way back to where I was supposed to be. But even if I’d known everything about everything beforehand, I still would have taken the same path because that’s how I learn. You can tell me anything you like, but I need to experience it myself in order to relate it to my work, and I think a lot of writers are similar. Just because Plan A worked for you, doesn’t mean it’s going to work for me, or her or him. We each have our own path and I can’t imagine taking any different steps than I already have. I’m sure that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. J

What do you do when you're not writing?

I watch House on Tuesday nights. LOL Other than that, I’m just your typical wife/mother. I take the kids to their soccer and baseball practices and games, and I seem to spend a lot of time doing laundry. J I used to scrap book a lot because my sister was a Creative Memories rep, but it’s very time consuming, so I don’t do it nearly as much as I should. The kids and I like to take road trips and walk around the golf courses looking for eagles and discarded or forgotten golf balls. And, of course, I love to read. I’m usually months and months behind on that, though. My TBR pile is a little staggering. J

What's coming up next for you?

The Devil’s Daughter was just released this week, and the sequel, Dancing with the Devil, is scheduled for release in December, so I’ll have a bit of work to do on that one before it’s really finished. Besides that, my agent has a few proposals out for me and I’m working on a few more. Most of the proposals are historical westerns, but one is a contemporary and another is non-fiction, so we’ll see what happens with that.

The Devil's Daughter is available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Visit Laura at her website. Thanks for stopping by Laura! :)