Plotter or Pantser?

Normally this would be a question asked of a writer but I'm curious about cooking. Are you a plotter (planner) or a pantser?

Since I turned over a new leaf and started eating vegetarian/vegan, I cook mostly from recipes. With the exception of a few Weight Watchers recipes that I loved, I'm not really a recipe kind of girl.

But that's not really the question I wanted to pose here exactly. No, I'm wondering about once you've decided what you're going to cook.

In this scenario, a plotter is someone who reviews the ingredients and lays them out beforehand so that they're readily available. They might even have them portioned out according to the recipe so that all they have to do is pour the ingredients into the mix when the recipe calls for it. The plotter always knows how the dish is going to turn out.

The pantser, on the other hand, mentally runs down the ingredients in their head and dives head first into the recipe, pulling the ingredients out of the cupboard as the recipe calls for them and portions them out at that time. Unlike the plotter, things don't always turn out as expected.

Turns out, I'm a pantser. I find a recipe that looks interesting and mentally run down the ingredients in my head and dive in head first. As mentioned, this doesn't always work out as expected. For example, the other day I decided to make Snobby Joes (the meatless version of the Sloppy Joe). The lentils were cooking and I was sauteing the onions and pepper. Then I added the garlic. When the lentils were done, I added them, along with the chili powder, oregano and salt. Next I went to get out the tomato paste and tomato sauce. Only, I didn't have any tomato sauce (oops!) in the cupboard. Obviously I was already committed to the dish by this point but I didn't have all the needed ingredients, which I would've known, if I were a plotter. In the end I added extra tomato paste and diluted it with water and hoped it would work out okay. It was my first time cooking the dish and I have to say I liked it, despite my substitutions. Would it have been better if I'd followed the recipe to a T? Maybe, but that's a question for another day (as in the next time I make it - which I will . . . and I DO have tomato sauce now!).

This isn't the first time this has happened (remember the cornstarch / cornmeal question?) and probably won't be the last but what I find most interesting, for me, is that I've never really been someone who cooked a lot - much less experimented with new foods. I've never been one to eat grains or vegetables - at all. And yet, I've changed my diet to where that's a huge part of my diet, and not only do I like it, I'm even playing with recipes, creating my own dishes. (Yes, I realize the Snobby Joe thing isn't that big of a stretch but some of the things I've done, are.) I am actually enjoying not knowing how something is going to turn out. Not everything has been a success but most of them are good.

And so I've learned something about myself. I am a pantser. What about you? When it comes to cooking, are you a plotter or a pantser? Inquiring minds want to know. :o)

Things I've learned about food and cooking

In a previous blog post I alluded to the fact that I've changed my eating habits. What I didn't say was that I eliminated meat and dairy from my diet. As a result, I've been doing a lot more cooking and I've learned some lessons along the way - not all of them pretty.

In no particular order, here are some of the lessons I've learned:

1. Even with a list, you will invariably forget to buy at least one ingredient for a recipe you want to cook.

2. It's helpful to know what recipe the ingredients are for (so that you don't get home and find a critical ingredient to a recipe was the one thing you couldn't find).

3. You can make substitutes for pretty much any ingredient in a recipe.

4. I still can't figure out if cornstarch and cornmeal are the same thing (according to wikipedia, the UK seems to think they're interchangeable). I just know I haven't found cornstarch locally and cornmeal didn't seem to negatively impact the recipe I used it in (see 3 above).

5. There are an incredible amount of fruits, vegetables, grains, etc. that I had never heard of before but are quite good!

6. It's not necessarily a good idea to buy random fruits and vegetables if you don't know how you're going to use them when you get them home.

7. Russet potatoes are hard. Seriously HARD. I have a knife that can slice through bone like it was butter and it did NOT want to slice through the potato. (Note: once cooked, the potato was delicious!)

8. Waffles aren't as bad as I always thought they were.

9. Cleaning a waffle iron is NOT easy. :o)

10. Cleaning a juicer is only slightly easier.

11. I used to always say I didn't like much that was green and my mother always said one should take two bites of something before they made a definitive statement such as that. Well,
a. I stand by my belief that collard greens are not good. (My dogs do not share my opinion, however.)
b. I was wrong about asparagus.

12. Just because something smells good while cooking does not mean it will taste good (see 11a above).

13. Recipes are not always precise. (Note to cookbook authors. . . if you say an ingredient is needed for a recipe, it's nice if you include how it's used in the recipe - just saying. Also, saying "cook for 30 minutes or until all liquid is absorbed" is not good when it takes at least 1.5 hours for all liquid to be absorbed.)

14. There are some things you just cannot find anywhere but at Whole Foods.

15. The employees at Whole Foods are very nice and very helpful - at least in my experience.

16. Other things can be found outside of Whole Foods but at much higher prices. (Example: The only other place I've found Grade B Maple Syrup charges $16 more than Whole Foods for the exact same product.)

17. Pretty much everything tastes better with freshly squeezed lemon juice on it. :o)

18. The same can be said for maple syrup.

19. Even though vegan eating is considered healthy eating, there are certain vitamins that you will need to supplement if you completely give up meat and dairy.

20. It's not always easy to find a dish at a restaurant that accommodates a vegan diet.

In any event, it's been roughly four months since I started this new eating program and, overall, the experience has been positive and I have no regrets. :o)

New Dog

There's been an addition to my family. I have a new dog. The dirt dog.

Have you seen these things? You turn them on and they vacuum your house!

The dirt dog is geared towards non-carpeted areas. I think it's promoted towards workshops but since I have no carpets in my house, I got it for my floors. And it works great! It's amazing what it picks up. It gets the stuff my other dogs leave behind.

Best part? I can turn it on and go do other things while it does my vacuuming. Like last weekend, I took a long hot bath while it cleaned my living room.

It did my living room again last night while I went to kickboxing class.

This morning it did my bedroom while I cooked a nice big breakfast.

It did the kitchen and dining area while I ate and did my routine internet surfing.

Yes, I love this latest edition to my family. So much better than the last "dog" I had clean my place. ;o)

Check this out

I've blogged about Roula and Ryan's Roses before where someone who thinks their significant other may be stepping out on them can test that by seeing who they would send roses to. Well, they've started posting the session online the day of the thing. So, every Thursday from 9:00 a.m. until midnight, it can be listened to.

Today's was really interesting and can be heard here until midnight tonight. In a nutshell, the girl said she'd gotten an STD from her supposed monogamous boyfriend and wanted to see who he would send roses to so she could possibly find out who else he was sleeping with. Long story short, he wouldn't play along so they had to tell him who they were and he said she was a psycho and then she said she was pregnant (and no one believed her). It was pretty wild. So, if you come across this today (Thursday), you should check it out. It comes in three parts, just click on them and you'll hear the whole thing.

In other news, I saw on the news the other day where you can have books emailed to you daily. Some are free, some are for a fee but I found it interesting and thought I'd pass it along. You can check it out here.

This is how I want to do it

About online dating...it's not working for me. And I know why it's not working - for one thing, my heart's not in it. Readers of my blog and a few (very few) select friends know I've tried online dating. I know it's like the new way to meet people but I'm really not comfortable with the concept and deep down I've felt like if I did meet someone that way, I'd never want to admit that to the people who didn't know how we met - which is the mass majority of people. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with online dating if you want to do that - the problem is with me and I know that too.

Another reason it's not working for me is because I don't post pictures. I know men are very visual beings and with that whole "don't want people to know" thing working against me, I haven't been able to bring myself to post pictures. For a lot of men, that's a deal breaker - which is fine. But, here's the deal, I've been a paid member on two services and created a profile on a third (they still send you matches but you can't communicate with them). All three of the services have matched me with men I know. Yes, I know that that means they're signed up too but it still makes me uncomfortable and if they found out I had subscribed (I'm no longer a subscriber to any online service) to these services, I'd want it to be because I chose to tell them - not because they recognized my picture. Stupid? Yes, absolutely, but it's still how I feel.

But anyway, back when I was married, I tried to talk my then husband into taking ballroom dance classes with me but he refused. Shortly after we separated I started taking country western dance classes by myself. Then in 2000, I took swing and country western dancing with my nephew. And with Dancing with the Stars, it's really brought back the desire to take dancing classes. So anyway, a couple of weeks ago I pulled up Jessica Trapp's website and was looking around and was reminded that she belly dances (she's such a neat lady and so interesting!!!). Next thing I know, I'm googling "belly dancing classes Houston". I came across Dance Passion, a place that teaches not only Belly Dancing but also salsa, swing, country western, ballroom, hip hop and more. For me, I want group classes because private lessons are obscenely expensive and this school has group classes.

To make a long story short, a new session of classes started this week. I was interested in ballroom, salsa and belly dancing. The ballroom classes started on Monday but I was exhausted after work and couldn't bring myself to make the trek across town (no place near me offers classes - this place is 35 miles one way) for the class. I did, however, have the energy to go on Thursday for the belly dancing. It was immediately followed by the salsa class but I hadn't decided if I was going to do both. That is until I saw the big crowd waiting to get in to the salsa class. I figured if it was that popular, it had to be fun, so I signed up for it as well.

And here's where I get to the point of this post (yeah, I know, long way around)...they told us to find a partner. At the time I thought that would be the awkward part - the part where I felt like a loser because I didn't come with a partner. I didn't go look for anyone, instead, a tall, good-looking man approached me and asked me to be his partner. And for the next 30-45 minutes (before they made us start changing partners), he was my dance partner. He was nice. He was encouraging. And we had a good time.

But, the point is, we didn't have to fill out a 700 question compatibility thing or be compared on 29 points (or whatever it is) to find out we have something in common. We'd both signed up for the class of our own free will and without doing anything else, we know we have something in common. I like that - a lot. Is he going to be the next man in my life? Probably not. That's not the point. The point is, I don't have to do things that make me uncomfortable to meet people. If I just go out and do the things I like doing, I'm going to meet people with common interests without trying. All while having a good time to boot.

Bottom line, I think I'm done with the online dating thing. I know it works for a lot of people - and that's great - but it's not for me. I'd rather meet someone in a situation where we know off the bat that we have a common interest and see where that takes us. If it goes somewhere, great. If not, that's okay too. But in the meantime, I'm still having fun. And that's really what it's all about now, isn't it? :)

Running - Day 3

Well, I went running last night. Since Brewsky was the dog I took with me, there was no chase him warm up or cool down.

I clipped on the MP3 player and was listening to some good tunes with someone telling me when to walk and when to run. You know, I thought I was doing better than I am because I could still feel the burn when I ran (one minute is a LONG time - don't let anyone ever tell you differently!). Anyway, I had taken a shorter route than what I take when I walk them (but longer than I took Harley the other day) but I wasn't near being done when I got back close to my house. So I went down another street, thinking there was no way I wouldn't be done by the time I made it back around to my house. I was coming back around the corner by my house and looked at the time on the MP3 player - I'd been going for 20 minutes. The session is just over 30 minutes but I decided to pack it in and go home - I was too close. So, as I rounded the corner, she said "this is your next to last run". I responded with "uh, that was two runs ago sweetie" and I walked the rest of the way home. I felt like such a loser but well, I was dying and decided I'd rather die in the privacy of my own home than on the streets in my neighborhood. Plus, recent experience has shown that Brewsky wouldn't have run for help - he'd just have run (although he was pretty tuckered when we got home so maybe he would've just laid down beside me 'til he got his second wind).

Anyway, I got home and changed clothes and logged on to the computer to look up the link for the podcasts - I'd told someone at work I'd send the link. Well, I clicked on the wrong thing and ended up at the coolrunning.com webpage. For the first couple of weeks it says to do the routine for 20 minutes! Not 30 - 20! Which means I accomplished the task. Yeah, I'm still dying but I did it.

And the thing is, I do actually feel better after I've done it. In the long haul it will be good for me too - once I get used to it.

Oh, and something else I've learned about myself through this whole experience. The other day I went to the grocery store. I was buying healthy food to go with the exercise program. I'm walking/running now, with the goal of running a half-marathon by March. But what did I do? I drove around for ten minutes looking for a good spot. Apparently I'm one of those people - the ones who drive around a while to find a spot at the gym so they can walk on the treadmill, sort of people. Anyway, the irony didn't really sink in until I was walking into the store. If I'm going to run/walk 13.1 miles, I can surely walk a little further to get into the store, don't you think? Next time!

Happy halloween!

New discovery

When I went to San Francisco I decided not to be greedy with the books. If I didn't think I would actually read the book, I wasn't going to get it. And it's bad because you're meeting so many people that you don't really remember who you've met - or at least I don't. Someone has to really stand out for me to remember them.

Well, I definitely remember Eileen Cook. She commented that I looked familiar to her and asked if we'd met before. At first I was honest and said no and then joked that we used to be so close and I was a bit hurt that she couldn't place me - particularly after our little "experiment". That came out of my mouth before I could think about it and I barely had a moment to think it might not go over well before, without missing a beat, she says "Oh, now I remember you!" going along with the joke. It was funny, we both laughed and it really made me want to read her book.

Then I got home and started noticing that everyone whose blog I frequent (or most of them anyway) link to her blog. Next thing I know, I add a link to her blog and I'm digging through the books I've brought home for SF and looking for hers. For some reason I was a bit on the fence about reading her book at that particular time and then I opened up to read a little bit - see if it caught my attention. I was sold with the first sentence!

I started reading it yesterday during lunch and wanted to read this weekend but, given that I have homework assignments to do, decided to allow myself to read it as a "reward" for getting all the homework done. Only I didn't want to wait - and what if I didn't get all the homework done? As a result, I sat down today and read the rest of the book.

It was hilarious. I absolutely loved it. It goes in the top ten of my all-time favorite books list.

Oh, but as soon as I finished I popped over to amazon.com (I have a gift card coming in and wanted to have my book picks ready). Imagine my surprise to see that Unpredictable is in my "cart"! Has been since March 2, 2008. My guess is that someone recommended it on their blog and I put it in my cart for a later date and then promptly forgot about it. So, I guess I was destined to read this book and I have to say, it did not disappoint.

Next up will be my homework reading (Edith Wharton's The House of Mirth, which I'm also loving!). So that's what I'm reading, what are you reading?

I really am a flight girl!

Your Response is: Flight

You rather leave than deal with a dangerous or uncomfortable situation. You can't deal with too much drama or stress. It's really hard for you to cope. You are easily scared, freaked out, or intimidated. And while it's good to be prudent, not everything may be as freaky as it seems!

How Do You Respond: Fight or Flight?

Fight or Flight?

I'm not a confrontational type of person. If something bothers me, I usually won't say anything - I hold it in, thinking the situation will get better or right itself somehow. It takes a lot for me to "unburden" myself of my frustrations - to the point of when I do finally "snap", the person on the receiving end is probably thinking I'm some sort of psycho because whatever it was that pushed me over the edge was something they'd been doing for forever.

Yeah, I'm one of those people.

So, in that regard, I guess I'm a flight girl. I don't really like that about myself but it's something I know about myself.

But then, I learned something about myself this week. I guess I already knew it but it was really brought home to me in this situation.

Secret Crush Guy (SCG) and I had a little "situation" this week. And in case I haven't mentioned it here, mine and SCG's relationship has become one of close friends. There's no more of the awkwardness because I have inappropriate feelings for him, because those feelings are - not gone but re-channeled, for lack of a better word. He's among the top five closest friends I've ever had, and it's not one-sided and I feel comfortable with it because his wife is a part of the equation - we've become friends too. Everything's out in the open and there are no secrets (well, except that I once lusted after her husband but then again, that was never out in the open to SCG either so...).

But back to the situation. We usually walk out together after work - or at the very least, stop by the other's office to tell them we're leaving . . . without them. Yesterday he was in an all day meeting and was taking today off so I totally expected him to slip out as soon as his meeting was over - but I still expected him to tell me he was leaving. Only he didn't. It's not a big deal or anything but I was kind of surprised, especially since he was going to be out today. So, I sent him a text message that said "I cannot believe you ditched me!!!"

He responded with "I dont want to tell you the details. You may not forgive me." *typos are his

I immediately called him up and said I wanted the details. He laughed and said he was meeting Brenda at Pappadeaux for drinks.

Now, I know that doesn't sound like a big deal but it was like a knife to my heart. Let me start off by saying, I don't care who he is friends with - I honestly don't. It's none of my business. Ditto for what he does with those friends. What bothered me was I really cannot stand Brenda and he knows that. (For what it's worth, he's not particularly a fan of hers either, which I think played into my reaction as well.) We've also - recently - talked about going out for drinks after work but he's commented that he's a big flirt and a tease when he drinks (which of course is what I want to see in action because I think it would be hysterical - not because I want that directed at me . . . his wife is an invited guest to the event, should it ever happen) and I think he's afraid he would embarrass himself too much. Anyway, I knew there was more to the story than what he'd told me but I was upset because he would use her and drinking to get a rise out of me - which is what he wanted to do. So in essence, he deliberately upset me, which is why I was so upset. I seriously thought I was going to start bawling on the phone so I told him I was going to hang up "now". He laughed again and I said bye and he started saying something as I hung up on him.

It took long enough for him to realize I'd hung up and for him to dial me back up before my phone rang. I clicked on "ignore" and deleted the message he left without listening to it - which I've never done before, by the way. He sent me another text that said "I was tearing you. We are having our project management conference dinner. Cant believe you hung up!" *again, typos are his and it took me awhile to realize "tearing" was supposed to be teasing!

I didn't respond. He called again but didn't leave a message that time.

I was upset all night and then had bad dreams about it. I know it doesn't seem like a lot but it really bothered me. Anyway, he called me first thing this morning. I decided to take the call and just said Hello. He said, "What's your problem?" Now, I should point out that he said it more in a playful voice but given the circumstances, it wasn't funny to me - at all. In fact, I had that "I'm going to start bawling" feeling again. So I took a deep breath and said, "Wow. Nice way to start the conversation." He laughed. It still wasn't going over well with me so I said, "I'm going to hang up now." He asked me something about why I was hanging up on him and I took another deep breath and said I didn't want to talk to him just then. He asked why. I said bye and I hung up.

And here's the deal. I was in flight mode. Not just from the confrontation but I was also checking out of the friendship - completely. Last night when I went to bed I was thinking it was the end of our friendship - that's how hurt I was - and is why I think I had the bad dreams. I woke up this morning deciding that, in fairness to him, we needed to talk about it - which is why I took his call. But then his opening comment . . . well, I already told you how that went. I immediately went into flight mode again - from the confrontation and from the friendship. I was going to let the weekend pass without contacting him but I talked to a mutual friend of ours and she said she thought our friendship was good enough but if I waited too long, irreparable damage could be done. She didn't think I should wait over the weekend to contact him. So I texted him and said "Shorthand version-not mad you just really hurt my feelings by deliberate actions-deliberate being the key word. didn't want to cry so hung up." He responded with "Sorry. It was meant as tease. I would never deliberately hurt your feelings."

Okay, I know he wouldn't deliberately hurt my feelings. I know that. I also knew he was teasing me. It was just that his actions were deliberate, and he did want a reaction from me - just not the one I gave him.

Anyway, there has been no further communication because I had to take the dogs to the vet and I didn't have another opportunity but I still feel like our friendship took a hard hit. But I'm really stunned that my reaction was (and, to be honest, still kind of is) a flight one because he really is a good friend of mine. I think one of the problems is he's an "instant" communicator. He's told me that him and his wife leave nothing unsaid - and I think that played a part in his wanting to talk about this but I don't work like that. Me? I need time to regroup. I have to think on things a while so that I don't blurt out the first thing that comes to mind because those are the things that are only meant for that one split second that you're saying them but can really do irreparable damage to the relationship. You know what I mean? So I guess that's what I'm fleeing. I don't want to have the conversation. Hmm, guess I probably need to get over that, if I want to save the friendship.

What about you? Do you fight or (take) flight? Not just in confrontations but in relationships. Inquiring minds want to know.

Conference

Well, I got back last evening from conference and I was exhausted. I'm finally getting my energy back this evening. And in a good news/bad news kind of thing, I also get tomorrow off to further recuperate - Tropical Storm Edouard is expected to pass over us tomorrow so the site has closed for tomorrow.

Anyway, I'm going to try to get as much as I can about conference in this post, pictures and additional details may follow in future posts though. I'll start by saying that after Atlanta, I posted a list of things I'd learned in Atlanta and I just have to say that, when you have the same roommate, some of the things continue to hold true. That's all I'm saying.

Okay, so, I left home Saturday morning, dropped the dogs off at the kennel and headed towards the airport. When I got to the parking lot to leave my car, I was told that valet parking was all that was available. They said it was the same price as me parking the car so I said fine. Wasn't crazy about leaving my keys with someone who knew I was going to be gone eight days (I had to tell them that). I wrote down my mileage (and thanked God that I'd told my neighbor that no matter what he was told - I was NOT moving last week!) and got on the bus to the airport.

You know how you send your purse through the x-ray machine? Well, any time they run it through several times, it's not a good thing. I have a metal nail file I'd forgotten to take out (remembered on the return trip though - yes they let me keep it, which surprised me) that has a sharp point to it. When they asked me what I had in my purse with a sharp point, I told them my nail file. They picked it up with two fingers (well a finger and a thumb) and carried it over to this table where they proceeded to wipe it down so they could test it for bomb components residue (I asked). When the test came up negative (big surprise there HA! although I freaked a little when the alarm on the machine went off - obviously indicating an all clear), they gingerly (two fingered again) unzipped the area I told them held the offending nail file, made a visual and then released me to go - file intact.

Caught my flight and sat next to a man who told me a story of how the last time he went home (he lives in Washington but was working in Houston), his neighbor died in his arms. I didn't know what to say to that, but of course he didn't wait for one, and instead told me - in great detail - how it all happened. Now, I won't bore you all with the details but I just want to say that, in the end, his neighbor is alive and well but apparently has medical issues.

I made it to SF and caught the shuttle bus to the B&B I stayed at the first part of the week. It's a very nice B&B and gave me a visual and lots of info on how a B&B can work. Considering one of my stories is set in a B&B, I consider that a good thing - a very good thing.

Gabrielle arrived later that evening and she and her friend, Tamara, drove me around SF, including the Golden Gate Bridge (GGB). I whipped out my camera to get a night time shot of the GGB, only to get a great shot of the back of Gabrielle's head. I'm good with a camera like that. When I tried to get a second shot of the bridge, the battery was dead. *sigh* We drove around some more and then headed back to the B&B.

I should point out that the B&B had four guests rooms and only two bathrooms. That first night there and the next morning proved to be interesting in the way of getting to actually use the bathrooms. Kind of comical in the way of doors opening and closing and peeking out to see if it was "free".

That night I had a bizarre dream that involved my co-workers and bad people. In the dream I was standing across the street from my house with the bad man chasing me. My neighbor's garage door and front door were open so I thought if I called out to him, he could save me from the bad man. Well, you know how when you try to scream out in a dream but nothing will come out? That wasn't really a problem in my dream. I mean, it was a little choked out but it was still a pretty darn loud scream of "MARTIN, HELP!!!!" I woke up with a start, then realizing that I'd actually screamed out loud, I froze, waiting to see if I'd woken Gabrielle up. I sat there for a couple of minutes and she didn't move or show any signs of having heard me. Then I realized, while she might be a heavy sleeper, the other guests of the B&B might not be so I strained to hear any activity in the rest of the house. Nothing. No one was coming to save me from the bad guys. Which, since I wasn't really in jeopardy, was okay - I'm glad I didn't wake anyone. On the other hand, what if I had really been in trouble? I would've been so screwed - and not in a good way. Just saying.

Anyway, the next morning we got up to a wonderful breakfast and headed out to see the sights. We went into town and got a week-long bus pass, which pretty much covered all methods of transportation in SF. We took a trolley down to Fisherman's Wharf and spent the afternoon (along with a good amount of money) walking around there. The camera ran out of space before long and I started deleting shots that I couldn't really tell what they were. (Seeing what I have left, I may have deleted the wrong ones. *sigh*) Oh, and we saw the Naked Cowboy. He was on one side of the street, while on the other, someone was preaching the hell, fire and brimstone speech. It was kind of interesting.

We caught a couple of buses and made our way back towards the B&B, but not before stopping by a little coffee shop around the corner, where we discovered they had internet and food. The quiche looked good to me so I had them give me one to go because I wasn't hungry at that moment. (I ended up giving it to the host at the B&B before we left because, well, turns out there isn't a microwave at the B&B, not to mention, I was never hungry in the evening when it would have been convenient to eat it. It looked really good though.)

We didn't have any issues with the bathroom that night - or the next morning for that matter. One lady and a couple had checked out but another couple and another lady had checked in. The next morning I went upstairs to take my shower and came across the new lady. I just said hello in passing on the way to the bathroom but on the way out, she stopped me. Turns out she was there for the conference as well. A nice lady from Canada. She has some sightseeing she wanted to do and it worked out well because Gabrielle was wanting to take a break from all the walking, plus she wanted to do some writing. However, the three of us took a bus to town and Heather Ann (the other guest) and I deposited Gabrielle at Borders while we went on the Victorian Homes tour. (Very nice tour, by the way. We saw the house where Mrs. Doubtfire was filmed. It was interesting to find out that all the house scenes were filmed inside that house - with the exception of the kitchen scenes, and only because the kitchen wasn't big enough to fit the camera equipment inside it and the owner wasn't willing to let their walls be knocked down. They were, however, willing to let farm animals be brought in for the party scene!) I whipped out my camera to show a picture of the Naked Cowboy to Heather Ann only to discover that my camera battery was dead - again. I purchased a disposable camera at that point and gave up on my digital for the remainder of the trip.

Afterwards, Heather Ann and I collected Gabrielle and had lunch at Lori's Diner. We left there and took a bus to Coit Tower and then worked our way down through a quaint little neighborhood and saw the wild parrots flying overhead.

The next day, Gabrielle was on a roll and wanted to do some more writing to Heather Ann and I headed out. We went first to Haight and Asbury. We spent some time there and got hit up for money and asked to sign a petition to help the homeless.

From there we went to Golden Gate Park where we walked around for what seemed like forever (we later looked at the map and discovered we hadn't seen one quarter of the park!) and ended up at the Conservatory. We walked around there for a while and then caught a bus to the GGB (by the way, if you need directions in SF, just open a city map and people will come to you and offer directions). Having been told we could catch a bus on the other side, we walked across the GGB, only to find that no one seemed to know anything about where we might catch that bus on the other side. Several calls and many attempts to stop taxis later, we found the bus and rode into Sausalito. We walked around the town (cute town, by the way) and then caught the ferry back.

We made our way back to the B&B where we all agreed we were exhausted. But, I wanted a margarita so Gabrielle went online and located a place that sounded good for a margarita. So we walked the 20 miles uphill (both ways) to the margarita place, only to discover that they didn't have the strawberry margarita I wanted - so I had water instead. Yeah, I know, how do you go from a margarita to water, I don't know - but it isn't the first time that's happened. We still had a good time though.

Wednesday we (Gabrielle and I - Heather Ann stayed at the B&B for the duration) checked out of the B&B and headed over to the hotel - first thing. And by first thing, I mean around 9:30 a.m. Unfortunately our room wasn't ready until almost 3:00 p.m. Ugh!

Anyway, once we finally got in our room, we got ready for the Literacy Signing. (You know, I'm wondering now if we did something I can't remember because we were actually late to the signing.) By this point, our third roommate, Linda Carol, had joined us. I had a plan. . . you see, I was the official stalker of the conference this year.

I headed straight over to Amanda Ashby and introduced myself as her official stalker (she'd actually known about it for months - I was just making it official at the signing). She offered me a Tim Tam and well, despite what I'd previously heard, they are the best chocolate I've ever had. Let me just say, if I hadn't already committed to stalking her, that would have done it. OMG they're so good.

I was working the signing so I hung around to the end. I don't want to bad mouth anyone but um, the clean up was handled completely differently this year and it wasn't the most organized thing I've ever seen. This may have been my last year to volunteer for that.

That was followed up by the RWAOnline Chapter party, where I beelined for (and therefore ate more) Tim Tams.

Thursday morning, Linda Carol and I took a bus up to Twin Peaks. We got back just in time for the luncheon. You know, I had never read Victoria Alexander, but I will now! OMG that woman is hysterical. A few days later I ran across someone trying to find the goody room. It sounded like a good idea to check it out again so I offered to walk with her there. I hadn't realized who it was at the time but it was Victoria Alexander. Very nice lady.

Anyway, Thursday I either did workshops or book signings - maybe both, I'd have to check. That evening, I went to the Diva Dinner. It was a lot of fun. Met a lot of fun, interesting people. :)

Friday was filled with workshops and book signings. That evening I went to a party hosted by a Houston writer. Had a lot of fun.

Saturday was more workshops and book signings - plus, I finally got my margarita! The awards ceremony was fun, followed by dessert and a visit to the bar (no drink for me though) before I went to bed to get a couple of hours sleep before I had to get up to catch the shuttle bus back to the airport (left at 4:25 a.m. - and the lines at the airport were surprising LONG! at that hour).

Went to pick up my babies before I headed home, where I promptly became a couch potato, until about an hour ago, when I started this post. :)

I took today off and, as I said, get tomorrow off as well. All in all, a good conference. :)

In Shock!

I told a friend of mine yesterday that I'd blog about an eHarmony discovery I made. I didn't blog about it last night because, well, I was re-reading old posts to see if I needed to delete and/or amend any posts before I gave it out to someone (from eHarmony) who'd trusted me with their myspace information. And well, since this has always been a "secret" blog, I've kind of been pretty open on it so I wasn't sure if I should give it out "as is", if you know what I mean. I read about a year's worth of posts and didn't see anything I thought was particularly bad (although I do know of one dated further back that I wouldn't necessarily show this person).

I didn't post this morning because I was too busy replying to an email from this person. But I'm here now.

Anyway, remember eHarmony match Don? The one I thought I might know? It is him! At each step I worried that he would close the match before I found out for certain but I decided that, no matter what, I had to be honest in my answers (although I did keep in mind that I might know this person). As things progressed I thought to myself that if it wasn't the Don I knew, it was a Don I thought I wanted to get to know. So either way, I didn't want the match to be closed.

Thing was, he always seemed to take a few days to respond to things so it seemed like it was really going slow. I guess I had posed some questions to him and was waiting on a response when he gave me a photo nudge without responding to the questions. I thought the match might get closed at that point because it seems to be pretty important to some of the guys on there. And in case I haven't mentioned it before, I put in my profile that I don't have a picture to post so if someone wanted to close a match based on that, it was okay with me because they wouldn't be a good fit for me anyway - words to that effect. My response, though, was to give him a photo nudge. He has photos posted but to be shown "at a later stage" (we've exchanged email addresses and I still can't see them!). I guess he got the message because he responded to the questions and we progressed from there.

At the open-ended questions phase, I asked him about his extended family and what holidays were like. I figured his answer would give me a better idea whether it was the Don I thought it was or not. I was all but convinced by his response but there was a sliver of doubt there. I asked a couple of friends of mine what they thought - whether I should ask him or not tell him I suspected I knew him. They didn't think I should ask but I felt it would be dishonest to not ask. I didn't want to play games. Figured the worst thing that would happen is he would close the match - without answering!

Since I've already mentioned that it is him and that we've exchanged email addresses, I think it's safe to assume he responded to me. It's been fun catching up with an old friend. It's been hysterical to hear how we viewed things that happened differently. I just found out yesterday that it was him but we've exchanged a couple of long emails and I guess it seems longer. Plus, it almost feels like no time has passed since we were last spoke (a hundred years ago!). It's just kind of weird but I can't stop smiling. :)

Not ready for prime time

Do you remember that television show, Magnum P.I. (with Tom Selleck)? It was on during the '80s...when I was married (kinda dating myself there but, oh well).

Well, my then-husband and I never watched it when it was on. And then it went into syndication, while it was still on the air in prime time. You know, like most successful shows do. Anyway, my ex-husband used to stay up really late at night to watch the syndicated version of the show, but he never watched the prime time version. And he'd be dragging by the end of the week because he wasn't getting enough sleep because he was staying up so late.

One day I asked him why he didn't watch the show when it came on during prime time and you know what he said? "It's not as good then."

After I stopped laughing at him (I was supportive like that and all), I pointed out that it was exactly the same show. That the only possible difference would be if they cut parts out of it to allow for more advertising to make more money. He looked at me kind of sheepishly and said he knew but he never watched the show during prime time television because he really thought it was better in the middle of the night (it's amazing what seems like a better idea when you're sleep deprived).

I never got that. Until recently.

A few months ago they started airing Two and a Half Men with Charlie Sheen (it's Charlie, right?) at 10:30 at night. Now normally I'm asleep by then but I guess there were a couple of nights that I couldn't sleep and I caught the show. (I'd never seen it before.) And now I'm hooked. For the last month or so, I've been staying up until 11:00 every night to watch the show. Then dragging my rear into the office the next day because it's been a late night. By Friday I do good to be productive at all after a week of this. But I can't help myself - the shows too funny.

It's also on during prime time (writer's strike and reruns notwithstanding) but I don't watch it then because, well, for some reason...I just don't think it would be as good then. ;-)

Not that I'm disorganized or anything...

Tuesday evening my local chapter had their Christmas party. It was a lot of fun and I spent some time visiting with Alyssa Goodnight.

Well, since there were going to be a lot of authors there, I grabbed all my books (that hadn't previously been signed) by the chapter members and put them in my car. Only I couldn't find one author's book, which was pretty annoying since I'd ridden around with it in my car for months, hoping I'd see her, and I didn't remember taking it out. Anyway, I tore my house apart looking for that book. I even went out to my car and looked under the seats and everything. Couldn't find it to save my life. I mentioned this to Alyssa (whose book I had with me and she graciously autographed - thank you) at the party and she said "weren't you the one who blogged about finding a book on their nightstand". Um, well, yes but it was a cookbook. I don't keep books for reading on my nightstand. But thanks for bringing up the fact that I find things in weird places. ;-)

So, I come home and the next day I decided to blog about the party and tease Alyssa a bit. But when I posted the blog, weird things happened to my blog, so I took it (the post) down. Which didn't help. I shut off my computer a couple of times and it still was doing weird things so I shut it down one more time and went to bed. Yesterday morning everything seemed fine.

Yesterday afternoon was a different story though. Weird things started happening with the blog again and with my personal email so I was trying to get online tech support. It said I was next in line and that the wait would be approximately 7m and 58s. I foolishly thought it meant 7 minutes but apparently it meant months. I eventually disconnected and started messing with things on my own. Now, I've mentioned before that I'm technologically challenged so doing things on my own is never a good thing...just so you know.

I started deleting programs that I didn't recognize in the "add/remove" section of my computer. Let's just say, I don't recommend that unless you know what you're doing...which obviously I don't. My computer was even more off after that. I shut it down and rebooted a number of times and reinstalled Internet Explorer (not one I'd deleted but one I thought needed to be "repaired"). Still had problems. Again, shut it down for the night only this time I still had the problems in the morning.

Eventually I installed something that seemed to do the trick, so all was good. But after I did all that, I decided to play with my playlist (sorry you can't see it Maria...I don't know what I did to make it invisible...it certainly wasn't intentional and well, being technologically challenged, I don't know how to change it!). I was looking for a particular song but wasn't confident that I knew the name of it. I figured it would come to me if I saw it - but I was wrong.

I finally broke down and went to my car to pull my CD to get the name of the song. Guess what I found in the little cubby I keep my CDs in...my author friend's book!!!!!

After all, where else would it be? *sigh* LOL

I know I saw it...somewhere

Earlier this year I bought a Weight Watchers comfort food recipe book. It has some great (low point) recipes in it and I fully intended to make a list of ingredients I needed and purchase them at the grocery store and make all these wonderful new foods.

That's what I intended. What happened is I brought the book home and promptly lost it. I've been searching for it for several months now. I thought it was in my "office" room and have been digging through boxes in there (don't ask) for some time now, without success. It was getting to the point that I was considering the possibility that someone broke into my house for the sole purpose of stealing the recipe book. Not likely I know but what else could've happened?

Then fast forward to today. It's Veteran's Day and we had a little celebration at work for the veterans who work there, along with a couple of special guests, including a WWII veteran. It was really nice. Well, eleven years ago I was in an English class and had to write a paper on a veteran. A co-worker had referred me to a friend of hers and we were going to meet for ten minutes or so so that I could interview him for my paper. Well, ten minutes turned into about four hours (during business hours - oops). I remember him getting emotional and my taking notes. And I remember the final product but not writing it (although I do recall looking at my notes and thinking I needed to include something I'd written down). I was very proud of the final product and to this day it's the one thing I've written that I'm most proud of.

Anyway, since it was Veterans Day (and I had planned on meeting this person at the celebration but due to a mix-up we're having lunch together instead) I wanted to find the paper (yes, I still have it...somewhere). So this evening I went digging for it. Without success (although I found a draft copy of pages 1, 2 and 3).

However, following is a list of a few things I DID find:

1. A pair of smiley face underwear (who they belong(ed) to is anyone's guess).
2. Several paintings I did a number of years ago.
3. Some leftover author promotional items that I thought I had returned (oops).
4. A ton of books (I'm starting to think I might have a problem).
5. The 2006 Golden Heart entries I judged.
6. A book all about Leonardo DiCaprio (don't ask).
7. A letter I wrote to my ex-husband five days before we separated (I read it and I cannot believe I said the things I did in it - and I only remember the date we separated because it was my mother's birthday).
8. Notes, papers and tests from a bunch of my college classes.
9. A belt to a dress I can't quite fit into yet, but is my goal.
10. An erotic story I wrote a number of years ago.
11. A picture I had forgotten I had but never got framed. (I really need to because I really, really like it)
12. Performance evaluations from 1986.
13. Several letters of recommendation, including one from a company that shortly after they gave me the LOR, I left during lunch and never returned.
14. About ten copies of a resume and letter of recommendation on someone I worked with nine years ago.

and.....

15. The cookbook. Wanna know where I found it? On my nightstand!!!!! Yeah, because THAT's where all cookbooks should be kept. (Really makes me wonder where the heck this paper can be now...)

Anyway, if you enjoy your freedom, thank a vet. :-)

Miscellany

I forgot to bring my lunch today and I deliberately didn't bring a book to read, since it was Weight Watchers' day. However, since I didn't want them to watch me eat the hamburger (I didn't get cheese *sigh*) and fries I bought in the cafeteria, I didn't stay for the meeting. Which gave me some time to do other things. Like read blogs. And maybe write one. :-)

So, I be-bopped over to the Killer Fiction blog (all links on the side-bar) and found out that they have you autograph your breast before they do surgery on it. I didn't know that. And I'm still waiting on a reply as to whether they have you do this pre or post-drugged up.

Then I visited the Deadline Divas. Ellen had a very eloquent post about writing and donuts. And now I just wish our cafeteria had a Krispy Kreme section, but maybe I'll have to settle for cookies. (Hey, I don't have to weigh for another week, right?)

I stopped back by (I say back by because I think she posted this yesterday?) Alyssa Goodnight's blog. She'd posted about reading the latest Harry Potter story (no spoilers please because she has been known to stop by here too). She made a comment of having one regular visitor who had never read a single HP book. I assumed she meant me until 75 more posts (okay I exaggerate, but I wasn't the only one!) came through saying they'd never read any either.

Then I went to Laura Drewry's blog. Did you know Hell has frozen over? I didn't but now I wonder if it has anything to do with our recent cold weather? It was still hitting the 90s as recently as last week here. (Can you say UGH?!) And now it's a pleasant (if not "cool") 60 or so.

And then, last night...did you see Dancing with the Stars? If not, this might be a bit of a spoiler, I'll just tell you that now. Anyway, Marie Osmond fainted while waiting for comments from the judges. It was really strange because she seemed to have all this extra energy after the dance and was laughing kind of manic-ly one minute and on the floor the next. They went to the longest break in the history of commercial breaks and came back and said she was okay. (They said her first words when she came to and saw everyone hovering over her was "oh crap". Poor thing.) Anyway, what I was going to say is that the show was barely over and I popped over to msn.com and saw that they'd already posted an article about it, complete with video coverage. She ended up in last place, with that billionaire...Mark Cuban - is that his name? I'm worried she will get voted off tonight because I had no problem calling in votes for her and Mark hasn't been in the bottom two since that first night, despite being in last place (or next to last place when Wayne was still in the competition) with the judges each week since.

Anyway, that's all this hamburgered/french fried brain can come up with for now. Have you discovered anything interesting recently?

Cold and flu season...or something else?

Yesterday I finished Jennifer O'Connell's Insider Dating. It's a story about a woman who decides to put together a network of women who will compile information, in an anonymous database, on the men they've dated so that other women can make informed decisions about who they date. While I enjoyed the book, I also learned something interesting.

One of the men had this thing where he would sneeze when he was horny. The heroine (and creator of the database) thought it was made up but told her friends about it. One of the friends explained how it was true that what happens in the nasal area is (or can be) directly related to the activity going on south of the border. It cracked me up. I thought it was made up for the story. I really did. I was going to post a blog about it without looking it up online, because it was too funny not to say something about it but I didn't want it to be proven untrue. But I couldn't stand it. In the end I finally broke down and googled it.

And you know what? Apparently it IS true! Something about the tissue and blood flow in each. They work the same and are (or can be) interrelated somehow. It's at times like this that being single sucks because I would so ask the man in my life about it but there's no discreet way to ask someone - a man - if it's true, that I know of. I mean, I have a number of good friends that are male but I just can't see myself asking one of them about this.

What I DO know, though, is that, I will never, ever hear a man sneeze again without wondering (and probably busting out laughing) if it's more than just a nose tickle. LOL

The Secret's Out

Which movie heroine are you?

Rose DeWitt Bukater You are Rose DeWitt Bukater from "Titanic"! You are beautiful and trusting, with a hidden internal strength. Many men find you attractive, but you would only give your heart to someone who loves the real you. While you sometimes doubt your life's direction and your place in the world, you're open to see where fate takes you.
Take this quiz!








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Okay, that isn't the only secret that is out...my blog has been discovered. Alyssa Goodnight installed a statcounter on her blog and since I access her blog from this one, she found me out. I mean, she knew I had a blog but she couldn't remember the name of it. Guess that'll teach me...

Discoveries

Today is the anniversary of my mother's death. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, it's just it was a weird day today and that it was the anniversary of her death kind of plays into that.

After my mother died, my step-father gave me a bunch of stuff of hers, including old letters (including one I wrote to the tooth fairy explaining that I'd lost my tooth but would still like the money for it please and thank you). Anyway, as I went through everything I realized that there was a lot about my mother that I never knew. A LOT! And I envisioned a play about this discovery and thought about writing it. Then, like most my other story ideas, tossed it aside.

A couple of months ago I decided to resurrect that idea but work it a different way. Make it more fictionalized to where there is some actual facts that take place but the overall story is fiction. And that is what I have been working on lately.

But anyway, I wasn't really thinking about what today was until I'd read someone's blog and wondered if I was behind and then saw the date. THEN, I get mail (real mail, not email) from my step-father. He was sending me checks on his new bank account (he wanted someone to be able to write checks in case he wasn't able to - I've had this since my mother died but he's changing banks). He included a note that read (after a series of information details) "Laura, this is info that someday, you are going to need. Although I don't plan on checking out soon, I might not have much notice. so - - -"

I opened this right after I'd read the blog that reminded me of what day it was. I drove back to work (this all was on my lunch break) and decided I would call him when I got back to the office (his number is in my day planner which was sitting on my desk). I wanted to be sure he was okay. He'd recently broken up with his girlfriend and I was concerned about the "tone" of the letter. Before I did that though, I decided to talk to someone about it and see what they thought. But before they got to my office, I opened my home email again and had an email from my step-father. Subject line was needtotalk (he didn't put any spaces in it either). Email read:

Laura, there are some some recent events that I need to let you know about. (okay, this was when my heart stopped...once I was able to breath again, I continued) No bad news, by the way, so don't worry. (our ideas of bad news differs so I wasn't totally convinced here) It's a little long and protracted to do on e-mail, so let me know when you will be home and have some free time to talk.

I didn't wait (plus my phone - not my phone line, my phone - is screwed up so calling at home wasn't going to work anyway) and called him.

Turns out he found out about a year ago that he inherited some land from my mother that he didn't know existed (he doesn't think she knew about it either). He was contacted by someone who wanted to do some tests for oil (mineral rights were retained by the family). He leased it to them and they contacted him about purchasing it outright last month. At this point I'm thinking he needs me to do some running for him, since he lives in another state, and I'm trying to figure my time but I'm saying "Don't sell the mineral rights! Don't sell the mineral rights!" For one thing, wanting to lease the land to check for oil and then wanting to purchase it (including mineral rights) a year later - well my thought was they found something and didn't plan to share that information.

Anyway, long story short, he wasn't selling anything. He wants to GIVE me the land and the mineral rights. (I feel funny about that but that's a whole other story.) We didn't talk about what day it is but he sounded really emotional - and that's just not him. I'm still a little worried about him. He said he was fine - that he was just doing what was right.

Anyway, the whole point of this is, I'm still learning things about my mother - and even her family (when I went to look up the land, I learned a lot of things I hadn't known...a LOT). It's just been one of those weird days. I'm just glad it's almost over.