Someday has arrived

Several years ago my ex-boss's wife ran a marathon. She was at least in her late fifties, possibly in her early sixties. I was very impressed. And a bit jealous because it's something I'd like to do myself. Yet, I did nothing about it then. Time went by and I still did nothing about it. I'd hear about upcoming marathons and think "someday". But still, I did nothing.

Fast forward to this past week. Wednesday we had an offsite team building activity at work and I carpooled with two other ladies to the event. During the course of conversation, one of the ladies mentioned that she was training for the half-marathon in January. The bug of jealousy bit me again but I just kind of swatted at the pesky little thing.

That evening I logged on to the internet, stopping by my usual places and came across a post (can't remember where I first saw it to be honest) where a writer friend of mine, Mel, along with another friend of hers were gearing up for half-marathons and decided to blog about their journeys here. I was really impressed and inspired but I still got out the can of bug killer for the jealousy bug flying about.

THEN, the next day I was chatting with this man at work that I not so secretly have a crush on (everyone but him knows about the crush - at least I hope he doesn't know) and he tells me HE's training for a half-marathon.

It's like the story where the river starts rising and rescuers try to save this man who keeps saying "Jesus will save me". He passes on the vehicles that come, the boats that come, the helicopter that comes - all to save him. Then, when he dies in the flood he asks Jesus, "why didn't you save me?" and Jesus responds, "Well, I sent you a vehicle, a boat and a helicopter..."

Now, it's not like I'm going to die if I don't do this or anything but I do think there's something to the fact that in such a short time it's become like THE topic of conversation among my friends and I want to take a look at that. It's something I've wanted to do for a while and if I do it this time around, I won't be doing it alone.

So, I've been online and the Houston Marathon is full - I can't run in that marathon but I CAN run in the Little Rock marathon in March, with Mel. Tell me this isn't fated. It falls on the first weekend of my spring break. My step-father lives in Arkansas so I could visit him (and not have to kennel my dogs!) and see Mel. How can I not think I'm supposed to do this - now?

I do have to admit though, that heavy breathing you're hearing from me at the moment isn't because I'm winded from just running - or because I'm excited or anything. No, sadly it's the kind of breathing that comes from hyperventilating. I mean, I am excited about this but I'm also anxious about this. But I can do this, right? Just because I throw up a little every time I say (or type) that I'm going to do this doesn't mean anything. It doesn't!

But that all said, I'm all in. I AM doing this because someday has arrived!

To Be Opened by Addressee Only

The other day I received ten boxes - ten LARGE boxes at work. Now, I have a rather small office so they take up quite a bit of room and make it difficult to get around. So today I decided to open them up, see what was in them and handle the contents so that I could get these boxes out of my way.

No problem, really. I open the first box and it contained a bunch of full binders. And an 8-1/2 x 11 sheet that said - in big, bold letters - TO BE OPENED BY ADDRESSEE ONLY.

I did mention that this sheet was INSIDE the box, right?

Did I also mention that every single box had a sheet in it like that. INSIDE the box?

Maybe I'm just easily amused but that cracked me up. And made me wonder about who it was that fixed those boxes up that way. ;-)

So what cracked you up today?

Stupid "Announcements"

Lately I've been reading things that just seem stupid. Periodically (monthly, quarterly? I have no idea) my work sends these newsletters about health related matters. This month's(?) newsletter was about diabetes. In one article it was said that one million people (I think that was the number) have diabetes but didn't know it. The thought that went through my head in the instant that I read that was "well you obviously know who they are so why don't you tell them?"

It's like the census poll. They'll say x number of people didn't report their information. If you know that, just add them. Not to mention, why is a poll being done if the numbers are already known? Seriously.

But I also love the cautions on items. For example, I heated up a microwave dinner for lunch today. The instructions tell you to 1) take it out of the box (were there people who would heat it up still in the box???), 2) ventilate; 3) cook on high for so many minutes; 4) remove from microvave (um, has this been an issue for people?); 5) remove plastic cover (okay, I want the names of the people that warranted this addition). Then it has a caution...It will be HOT. Really? No kidding! Learn something new every day.

Thing is you know they have to add all those things because someone did something stupid and there were probably lawsuits involved. But it just cracks me up.

So what about you...read anything lately that made you wonder why those details were necessary?

P.S. To answer a couple of questions recently asked in comments...No I didn't dress up for Halloween (I know, I'm a party pooper). And yes, I am doing some writing.
Thanks for asking. :-)

Signed Epstein's Mother

Some of you may remember a show from the 70's called Welcome Back Kotter (it's was where John Travolta got his big break, playing Vinnie Barbarino). There was a character on the show named Epstein who always had these notes who had a note for everything, all that were signed "Epstein's Mother".

So, you're probably wondering why I'm showing my age and flashing back to a show that was on the air 30 years ago. Well, I'll tell you.

We're having gorgeous weather here. Gorgeous weather. And I don't want to go to work because it's just wrong to make someone go to work when it's so nice outside. We get a half a dozen perfect days like this a year and I have to spend my day cooped up in an office? Wrong I tell you! So I suggested that I might be *cough* sick tomorrow to a couple of people at work. (Yes, I know, not the best game plan to give your boss a heads' up that you're planning a sick day. On a Friday. When the weather's so perfect. And yes, I know that if I wake up tomorrow and find myself on death's door, I still gotta go in to work because no one would believe I was really sick.)

Anyway, I was surfing the net this evening and came across this article on the msn.com homepage. Apparently there's a market for Epstein's mother's notes, or at least a variation on the same theme. I thought it was hysterical...and maybe a sign. A sign that I'm supposed to take tomorrow off.

What do you think? Any suggestions on what the note to my boss from Epstein's mother should say? We have the whole weekend to come up with something creative. ;-)

Possums: Enter at your own Risk

That's what the sign on my property line should say. The death toll is three so far with a fourth one injured after it took a tour of my living room. (It should be noted that I was not the one who hurt it. I was too afraid to get near it to hurt it.)

I just have to wonder what this family of possums is thinking. What...Bubba went out and committed suicide at the foot of my bed (which about gave me a heart attack when I discovered him) so they sent out Archie, looking for him? (Archie being the one that brought my neighbors and myself closer while he checked out the wall to wall tile in my living room.)

I figure Archie went back with the injured paw and told them of the twenty-five bears he had to fight off to survive. He, of course, maimed and/or killed all the said bears. He milked it for several weeks before they sent Chuck out to avenge the injury.

Chuck wasn't so lucky and never saw the inside of the house. He did, however, make it to the back porch before HE committed suicide.

When he didn't make it back for a week (or so) Mama possum came looking for him. She too made it to the back porch before SHE committed suicide. She's currently sitting in my trash can on the curb, even though trash day isn't until Wednesday (let the homeowner's association write me up...that thing is NOT sitting in my garage until Wednesday!).

All I can say is, I hope the possum family stopped at three and that daddy possum ran away to another neighborhood because, despite all the practice I've been getting lately, I don't ever want to have to dispose of another suicidal possum. It's not as fun as it sounds.