My boyfriend and his wife

The other day we had a luncheon at work in recognition of my upcoming service anniversary with the company. Technically it's supposed to be with people from your workgroup but, as much as I love my job and group, I really haven't connected with many people from my workgroup. So, I asked my boss if I could invite a few people outside of the group - and he said yes.

Which is how SCG got to be included in the guests. Well, if you've been following my blog, you know that mine and SCG's relationship has evolved over time. He's one of my favorite people and he's one of my closest friends now. And, if you've been following my blog, you also know he's married.

Now, when I talk about him to family members I always go, "My friend, SGC - you know, my married friend..." and then I proceed with the story. I have to do that so that they don't try to marry us off. I mean, not only is bigomy illegal, I don't share well.

Anyway, I don't expect to throw in that disclaimer when I'm dealing with non-family members - like work people. Yes, I talk about SCG a lot but not really any more than I do other friends of mine and SCG and I have discussed how people misinterpret our relationship and he basically said it was their problem, not ours and I've kind of taken up that torch and run with it myself since then.

But back to the lunch...I was actually more comfortable than usual at the event (I hate being the center of attention, which is why I wanted people I love and trust at the lunch with me) but my boss was making a mini-speech and he asked me what I'd ordered for my gift. Well, I haven't ordered it so he asked me what I was considering and the conversation went something like this...

Me: Well, there is a ring I'm looking at but I'd really like to see it in person rather than choosing it from a picture. There's also a crystal vase and bowl I was looking at. I was also considering a grill but I don't cook.

There were a few dazed looks and I realized that cooking has nothing to do with grilling so I felt a little uncomfortable and then followed it up with

Me: And he (pointing at SCG) doesn't grill.

SGC: No. No, I don't grill. I don't cook either.

Hmmm, can't imagine why people would think we were boyfriend and girlfriend from that! Particularly when he followed it up by making me tell a work story from before my time with this company - and one I wouldn't tell except to my close personal friends.

I spent the rest of the day repeating "No, he's really not by boyfriend! He's married!"

In any event, I had dinner last night with my "boyfriend" and his wife. I told her what had happened and she seemed to get a kick out of it. We left their house to go eat and she told me to sit up front and I said, "well of course I should sit up front with my boyfriend". We both laughed and I got in the back seat.

One of the things I really like about SCG though is, his love for his wife. It's obvious. I've never heard him speak disrespectfully of his wife. When he talks about things he wants to do (like hopping on a harley and traveling across country), he always wants to do them with Mrs SCG - always. When he is excited about something, he wants to share it with her. He makes time to spend time with just her - without the kids - on a regular basis. And they've been married 19 years. I don't know about you but I think that's pretty cool.

So, as far as faux boyfriends go, I could do a lot worse. :o)

In Case of Emergency...

When I got my new job I noticed that there was a sign like thing on the door that said, in big bold letters, FLOOR WARDEN. I had a bit of an idea what it meant but I wasn't 100% certain and just decided not to worry about it until it came up because the person who trained me (hahahaha, what a joke that was!) didn't mention anything about it.

Then this morning I noticed that I had FW training. Not making the connection I started calling other people on the invitation to see what FW was. I was told "Fire Warden". I figured it out from there.

Anyway, so I went to the Floor Warden training and they started discussing what our roles as Floor Wardens is. Let me just start by saying, my idea of how it worked is quite different than what we actually do. See, I held a similar role at another site and there my responsibilities were to get the list of names of people who should be on the floor/in the area and check them off. I never got to test my skills though because, fortunately, we never had an emergency.

My role in my new building is that it's my responsibility to ensure that everyone in my designated area get to safety - whether that be outside or somewhere else inside the building. I have to go from office to office and make sure they are empty of people and then close the door. If, by chance, someone has closed their door, I only have to knock on the door and yell "EMERGENCY - GET THE HELL OUT OF THE BUILDING" or some such thing and move on. But what this means is, if there is a fire in the building, I can't leave until I've gotten my people out - or done what I could to get them out first.

Considering I'm the designated hysterical person in a crisis, it's not necessarily the best plan of action. Unfortunately though, they didn't like my suggestion of letting my people know they should just follow the sound of my voice as I ran, screaming, out of the building. Go figure.

Flashbacks

A couple of years ago I was so excited to be leaving the department I worked in. We had a manager that micro-managed everything. You'd get yelled at for working too much overtime and then get yelled at because you weren't working enough overtime. You'd get called into meetings where they'd yell at everyone collectively, telling everyone that they're not being productive enough during the work day - and this would take two hours for them to tell you this sufficiently. It was awful and I was miserable. When I found out I was "escaping" the group, I literally skipped down the hall singing. Literally!

Okay, so for the better part of the next just over two years, I was happy. I mean, there were some things that weren't great at times but no matter what else I knew, I knew I could go to management and freely discuss what was going on without fear of punishment. For that time I was allowed to work on my own. I was treated like a responsible adult. I was shown respect. And I got used to it.

Then, on May 5, 2008 at approximately 4:03 p.m. my world changed. The manager who treated his staff like all managers should treat their staff, called me into his office. He said - and I quote - "Lucy (okay, so it's not verbatim but you get the idea!), there's an announcement going out tomorrow...and your name's on it."

When he said that I had a sinking feeling because a then-friend of mine had told me earlier in the day that she had gotten a job she had applied for. A job that was also within our group. They hadn't announced what they would do with HER job but when I found out she got the job (and at the time I thought she deserved the job and wanted her to get it...things change though - but that's a whole other story) I told her how happy I was for her but I hoped they didn't move me into her job.

It was at approximately 4:03 p.m on May 5, 2008 that I found out I was in fact getting her job. (here is where my head hits the table in a "just kill me now" kind of way) On the plus side of getting her job, it really is a good opportunity for me in the big picture. On the down side of getting her job, her manager is the Nazi boss from hell. Seriously.

I wanted to get off on the right foot with my new boss so the day after I found out I was going to be working for him I went to see him. I told him that I wanted to discuss his expectations for me. He told me he didn't have time and I've gone back to him I can't tell you how many times to try to take up this conversation with him again and to date, we have not had that conversation.

We did, however, have a safety walk-thru last week in my office. A safety walk-thru is where one person looks around your area and identifies things that may be unsafe and if they truly are unsafe, you have to change them.

Okay. I can handle that, right? First thing he mentioned was that the shelves I had moved into my office weren't secured. A valid comment. I got it fixed. Next thing he tells me is that he doesn't like the printer on my desk. He also doesn't like this little stand that I bought - since I got the new job - for my desk. He didn't want me to have my lotion, calendar or candle on my desk either. Not to mention that he had a problem with the inspirational quotes I had saved from my dove candies - those he wadded up and threw away, saying I didn't need them. I was forced to throw out boxes that I was saving for shipping. Never mind that the boxes were stored under a table and weren't visible unless you crawled under my desk. And yes, he crawled under my desk. I had a second printer in my office - a color printer. It was used for the job by the person who had the job before me. Nazi boss from hell told me I had to get rid of it - no discussion (let's just say, SCG benefited from me having a "safety" walk-thru). He wouldn't let me keep a briefcase I'd gotten from the company. He went through my drawers and threw out more personal stuff. I just couldn't believe what he was doing.

And so it went. By the time it was all over I was just dumb-struck. I mean, what the heck was all that? But I'm new so I'm busy taking measures to comply with his requests/demands. Then the next morning I woke up pissed. I'm talking royally pissed. After all, what the !*&$@ did a color printer have to do with safety? Or boxes that weren't visible unless you crawled under the desk? Not to mention that he had no right to wad up and throw away something I was saving! There was just something wrong about that entire situation. But, I'm being the good girl and still trying to do what I was told.

Now there was a lot more going on than this safety walk-thru, like ugly emails to me for no apparent reason (ie he cc'd me on a meeting notice so that I could secure a room for the meeting. I responded with a tentative acceptance - so that it would be on my calendar and I would know where he was but my time would reflect me as available if anyone else needed me during that time. I never, for one second, thought I was invited to the meeting. Yet he sent me an email saying "You are not invited." Yeah, I knew that - and I replied and let him know that.). So it's been really hard on me. Yet, Thursday, when I felt sick to my stomach (and went home), I wasn't convinced it was the job. That is until I was still sick Friday until about 3:00 p.m. (you know, when it's too late for me to go into the office that day) and felt fine until I got up this morning and thought about having to go in to work with him. Which is how things were in my old group. I so don't want to go back to those days. Towards the end I was throwing up in my office trash can on a regular basis.

But anyway, being off for a day and a half gave me some time to think. That printer he wanted me to move is pretty big. If I moved it to where he told me to move it, it was going to create additional problems for me. So first thing this morning I went into SCG's office (he's away on business) and borrowed his tape measure. The printer is too big to move where he wants me to move it...it would create a safety hazard if I moved. And I told him so, so it gets to stay where it is. Yay!

Oh, but when I got back into the office today, he'd turned off my radio and moved something off my desk. They were scheduled to move the printer on Friday but I'd emailed them, asking to change the date since I wasn't there. I thought the stuff that was moved was because the computer people had come by and it was in their way. But no, Nazi boss had moved it...he told me so. He said, "did you notice I moved your thing?" I said, "yes, did you notice I moved it right back?"

Meanwhile I have an email in to HR, asking how many times he can refuse to let me post for other jobs. I don't think they want to put it in writing but I'm going to press them until they do because I've worked for a Nazi boss from hell before and I just don't think I can survive another tour of duty with another one.

Ahhh, the joys of the new job.