Suspicious Minds

I've been trying to blog more consistently but some days nothing comes to me. Other days I have lots of ideas but have to settle on one. Today is one of those days (where I have more than one idea).

Anyway, today I wanted to blog on this segment they have on my local radio station. It's called Roula & Ryan's Roses. What happens is someone writes/emails in telling them why they think their significant other may be cheating on them. I have no idea how many letters/emails they get on this but every Thursday morning they take one and do their bit. Their bit being that they (well Roula) call the supposed cheating party and tell them that they've randomly been selected to receive a dozen long stem red roses that can be sent anywhere in the US within 24 hours, for free. She goes on to tell them that it's a promotional thing for her new business "plantsandflowers.com" and that her hope is that the flowers will be so great that they will consider doing business with her in the future, should they have a need. In most cases the supposed cheating party will accept the roses.

The whole time Roula is giving her spiel, the person who wrote in is listening in. They've been instructed not to jump in until after they've gotten the name and note for the card and Ryan has jumped in to say they are listening in.

Okay, so this morning's "couple" was a young married couple. The husband (named Fred) works for a company who takes its employees on all expense paid trips (I missed the part of why they do but I don't think it's important to the story). This weekend the company was paying for its employees to spend the long weekend (four days total) in Jamaica. Fred told his wife (whose name I don't remember) that spouses weren't invited this time. She was concerned because he works with a lot of attractive women and they would be at a place where those attractive women would be scantily clad. Not to mention that he's recently been putting in really long hours and their sex life is virtually non-existent of late. She "needed" to know who he would send the flowers to.

So Roula called. He accepted the flowers. He said he wanted them to go to Jennifer (funny how I remember HER name, huh? anyway) and the card to read (and he said this in a very seductive voice) something like "I can't wait until this weekend" or "I'm looking forward to this weekend".

At that point Ryan jumped in and told him what was going on. His wife jumps in and asks him what's going on, why would he send flowers to Jennifer and not her? He starts saying that Jennifer has been working really hard and he wanted to show his appreciation for all her hard work - that he wouldn't have survived (at work) without her that past couple of months. The wife starts whining that she was going to be home alone all weekend and she doesn't understand why he didn't send them to her. He goes on to point out that he spent $300 on a spa day for her and that should be enough.

Meanwhile, Ryan is jumping in going "Dude, the greeting on the card was (whatever it was). And it was red roses. Red usually signifies love!" Fred defends himself saying he had no idea what would be sent (Roula does say a dozen red roses, by the way) and he just wanted to recognize Jennifer's hard work. Roula is being uncharacteristically quiet and Ryan shuts up at this time.

The wife starts apologizing to Fred, saying she was just feeling a little insecure and hopes he will forgive her for doing this to him on the radio. She then, in a young child happy voice tells Fred, "If you come home early tonight I'll cook all your favorites, okay?!" Ryan, incredulous, jumps back in and says, "(her name - whatever it is), you're believing him?" She said she was so he tells them he's going to let them take it offline and they get the couple off the air.

As soon as they get the couple off the air, Roula jumps in and says, "Ohmigod! I had to hold my reaction but I cannot believe she was buying that! He was so LYING!" Roula and Ryan discussed their feelings about it (they do that each week, and then take listener calls) and they both believed he was lying out his backside but that they didn't press it because they believed the wife was one of those people who didn't want to know/believe the truth. All the callers I heard agreed.

So, my question to you is, you have a sneaking suspicion that your significant other may be getting some action on the side and when given the opportunity, s/he sends roses to someone else. How would you react?

The Finale

Congratulations Apolo and Julianne!

If you missed the finale, you missed that Apolo walked away with the mirrored trophy last night. I was so excited and thought it was so deserved.

It's funny because when the season started, well, actually BEFORE the season started I made a judgment based on his picture. I really hated the hair on his chin. It can't even be called a goatee. And I wanted him voted off in week one because it was so unattractive in his "official photo".

Well, after week one of dancing, I changed my mind. He was so good and his partner was adorable. And it wasn't long into the competition before I decided I wanted him to win the whole thing! AND HE DID!

He wasn't always number one with the judges (but then none of the past winners were either) but he was number one in the end, and that's what matters. And he won it all on his birthday!

I was so excited for him. So, happy birthday Apolo and congratulations!

New to the Pile

Today a friend at work asked me if I wanted to meet her at the bookstore at lunch. (Well DUH! know your audience girl!) So, I got there at the time she said to meet her...she showed up thirty minutes later. But I digress.

As I waited for my friend, I came across this book that looked like it might be interesting...The PMS Murder. I read the back cover and well, I bought it. It sounds like it will be fun. And if it is, I've found a new author to read. If not, it was just $7.00.

Here's the back blurb:

On the frontlines of the battle of the bulge, otherwise known as trying on bathing suits in the communal dressing room at Loehmann's, freelance writer Jaine Austen makes a new friend - a wanna be actress named Pam - and gets a new job: sprucing up Pam's bare-bones resume. Their feeling of connection is mutual, so Pam invites Jaine to join The PMS Club - a woman's support group that meets once a week over guacamole and margaritas.

But joining the club proves to be more a curse than a blessing for Jaine. Though she is warned that Rochelle, the hostess, makes a guacamole to die for, Jaine never takes the warning literally. Until another PMS member, Marybeth, drops dead over a mouthful of the green stuff after confessing she is having an affair with Rochelle's husband.

While Rochelle and her husband are the obvious suspects, everyone at that night's meeting is under suspicion, including Jaine. So, instead of dishing dirt with The PMS Club, Jaine has to dig up dirt on the surviving members. And soon it becomes clear: someone in this club thinks getting away with murder should be a privilege of membership...

So that's the newest on my TBR pile. What have you read lately?

*Sigh*

Tonight my dog, Harley, came in when he heard me open a muffin wrapper. He placed his chin on my leg and when he moved it, it was covered in mud. So I decided to investigate what he (and possibly the other dogs) had been doing outside. It was already dark outside so I took my flashlight with me.

Over in the front corner of the fence it appears like he/they have been digging a hole. O-kay. Now, I don't know if you've heard this but if you fill a hole where dogs have been digging with their own poop, they won't dig there anymore. I was told this a few years back when Max was a puppy and doing the digging - and it worked. So I went and got my shovel to fill the hole and go searching for poop (jealous are you? LOL).

First I filled in the hole and then went looking, shining my flashlight everywhere. The first "pile" I saw and approached turned out to be a dead bird. Poor thing. I hope it went quickly.

Anyway, I decided to look on the other side of my yard because that's where they do most of their business anyway and I headed out on the path that they've created out that way, watching my step. And you know what I found? Are you ready for this?

The cable line that the cable guy buried a couple of weeks ago (see Television Reception entry)? The cable line that I could barely tell WHERE the cable guy buried it because he did such a smooth, clean job? The cable line that is NOW exposed and just begging for Harley to rip it back out of the wall.

Yeah, that's what I found.

I'm telling you, I love the little guy but he is making me crazy.

In any event, I found some poop, filled the hole and disposed of the poor dead bird. Not exactly how I'd pictured this evening going but what are ya gonna do?

Changes

Ever since my dog, Harley, took out my cable, I've been thinking about something. Those two days where I had no reception forced me to focus my energy otherwise (that is when I wasn't striking a pose to get in better television reception) and I realized how much time I waste with the TV on. Like now, the TV is on but the sound is muted - and I do that a lot. What's the point?

So, my thought was, I should try to go without cable during the summer. I went so far as calling the cable company to see what I would have to do and what it would cost to have it reinstalled (turned back on - whatever) at a later date. And they offered me "options". Right now I have the digital cable with a gazillion channels (I watch approximately 3 of them, but who's counting) and pay out the wazoo, what with the "extended cable" box in the bedroom and the DVR in the living room. I could cut back to the standard cable (channels 1-80) for about 1/3 of what I'm paying now (not including the DVR, which would add ~$16 back). Or I could just keep the cable line (aka basic cable) on to give me clear pictures on my local stations (and we already know I don't get reception for crap here on the local stations) for under $20.

If I do away with cable altogether and later want it reinstalled it will cost me ~$29 for the first connection and ~$19 for each additional (I currently have three lines - two in the living room but I like the option of being able to move my furniture around).

On the "basic cable" option it would cost me a one time fee of ~20 to fully upgrade - all lines.

With standard cable there would be no charge to reconnect/upgrade.

But here's the deal. I feel certain I will want my cable back when the fall line-up comes back on. Most shows I could watch online but I wouldn't be able to vote on Dancing with the Stars (unless I struck a pose at least once a week - which I could do if I had to!).

Actually, that's not even the whole deal. The reason I posted this entry tonight was, I was reading someone else's blog entry and they were talking about participating in Jessica Trapp's "100 days" and now adding a daily workout to go with it. Someone responded that they just never have time to work out anymore and that kind of hit a note with me. In Weight Watchers when they talk about exercise they bring up the things we did when we were growing up - things that we enjoyed. Things that we no longer indulge ourselves with because "we don't have time". Working out is no longer considered fun, like it was when we were younger. Instead, it's just one more thing on the long list of things we have to do and it's more like a chore. Only it's one we don't have to do, so it's one of the first ones we eliminate.

Personally, I want to make time for things. I want to read more. I want to write more. I want to start working out again. Walking the dogs (only not in my neighborhood since I'm only allowed two dogs and I have three). Yes, TV is something I sometimes enjoy but I think I indulge in it too much. And too much of a good thing is not good!

Anyway, I don't know if you've picked up on this but I think I'm talking myself more and more into getting rid of cable - at least for the summer. But I'd love to hear what others think. So if you don't have a TV or if you don't have cable - or if you know someone like that, let me hear from you and tell them to come on over and tell me why and what-for.

And for those that have TV and cable, could you give it up?

The Plan

Have you ever noticed that things don't always go as planned?

Yesterday, I got up early and went to the grocery store to buy more fruits and vegetables (I say more because I'd done the same thing Saturday morning too). You see, over at The Cupcake Police a couple of us are drinking our fruits and vegetables, which is working out great for me because I wasn't getting in my daily requirement otherwise.

Anyway, back to The Plan.

The plan was to bring home the items and chop them all up, ready to go. Only problem was my kitchen was a mess. I needed to clean up and THEN do the chopping. Okay, I can handle that, right?

So, I'm standing in the kitchen thinking "you know, my living room really needs cleaning worse than the kitchen. maybe I should clean that first." The fact that I wasn't going to chop the food in the living room, which was the reason for the cleaning, didn't even enter my head. I just started cleaning - the living room.

I dusted. I vacuumed the furniture. I put things away. I swept and I mopped. It looked good. I moved into the kitchen to continue there.

I unloaded the dishwasher and reloaded it with the few dirty dishes (I don't cook often) I had. I wiped down the counter then went back over it with a lysol wipe. I took out the trash. I swept the floor and mopped. It looked good. But the floor was wet so I couldn't get to work on the food. So I moved into my bedroom.

All this while, I've also been doing laundry.

But I'm in the bedroom. I dusted. I put things away. I stripped the bed (to be added to the laundry loads). I swept and I mopped. And repeated in my closet and dressing area.

By then it was kind of late in the day (about 5:30) so I thought I'd sit down for a minute to watch the things I've DVR'd but really needed to be watched so I clear them so that there would be space for Dancing with the Stars (even though I'll be watching it live). So I'm watching last week's Brothers and Sisters (which I also watched when it aired) and I realized you know I don't really want to get into a clean bed after all this work - unless I take a shower. So after Brother and Sisters, I jumped in the shower and came back and watched a couple of Ellens and Murphy Browns before I watched Desperate Housewives and this week's Brothers and Sisters (which I DVR'd...both DH and B&S).

Then it was bedtime so I crawled in bed feeling pretty good about all I had done and I slept well.

Meanwhile, I never did chop up the fruits and vegetables - and that was the whole point of the day. LOL

On Writing

Do you ever read a book that just annoys you to no end? That you wonder what the author was thinking when they wrote it and the publisher when they bought it? I feel like I've run in a few too many of those of late. But, I don't like to diss particular authors on my blog so I'm just going to make a list of things that annoy me. Feel free to add your own. :~)

1. If your story is a murder mystery, don't introduce the killer on page 347 of your 360 page (including epilogue) novel. Saying on page 107 "Remember that time Eunice got upset with Doris because she thought the boy was looking at her at the third grade picnic?" does not count as an introduction to a character when said boy is not identified by name, or description and not mentioned again until page 347, when it's revealed he's the killer.

2. Also, if writing a murder mystery, it's good to keep the reader guessing but when they reach the last page of a story and they still are wondering who the hell the killer is, something's wrong - and it's not with the reader. I may be dense but when you have to email the author and ask who the killer is and you still don't get/see it, there's a problem. S-P-E-L-L I-T O-U-T! There's your clue!

3. If you're writing a series, each book should be a stand-alone. Nothing pisses me off more than to get to the end of a book only to realize that resolution won't happen until later in the series. I won't know how it's resolved either because I will not be forced to buy another book to find out! You will have lost me for any other books you've written too because, I may not always remember who the best authors are, but I never forget an author who has pissed me off. I also don't want to be forced to read the story in a particular order. I want to be able to pick up any book in the series and be able to follow the action. If you don't know how this is done, go read the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich.

4. Also in a series, do not introduce characters into the story in book one and make them pivotal characters if you're not going to deal with them until book three (see comment 3 above).

5. I read to escape. I want to be swept up in the fantasy. If I wanted to read something depressing, I'd subscribe to the newspaper. There doesn't have to be a hero / heroine traditional happily ever after but if I get to the end of the story and want to slit my own wrists, it's not good. Give the reader some hope.

6. No means no. I'm sorry but I cannot suspend disbelief when a woman says she doesn't want to have sex but the man "has his way" anyway. That's not an alpha male in my book, that's a rapist. As I read the rest of the book, I'll be wondering what message the author wanted to send by making a rapist the hero of her story. It will also likely be the last book of yours I'll read.

7. I don't write many "fan" emails to authors so if I write you one, it means I really LOVED your book and will be on the lookout for more of your books. It's not necessary to respond and plug your next book - I probably would've bought it anyway if I liked the one enough to write you. But, since I don't like pushy sales people, you just made me less likely to pick it up.

8. I know that bad things happen in life but I don't want to read about them (see comment 5 above) in your book. It is never necessary to be cruel to animals in a book. Do it once and I might be able to look the other way. Do it repeatedly and you will not only lose me as a reader, but anyone else I can influence.

9. If you're writing a comedy, tell more than one joke. What was funny on page 15 is not going to be funny if told again on page 16 and 17 and 18 and 19 and..... Lots of things can be funny. Be creative.

10. Be original. If you have to steal from another author, hang it up. This also goes for your own stories. If all you've done is superimpose new names over the characters of your last story, it's not good. I've heard there are no new stories and I'm easy enough to fool that it's a new story but you're gonna have to do more than change names.

Anyway, those are a few of my writing pet peeves. What annoys you?

Squirrelly neighbors

I've blogged before about my neighbors. Neighbors whose names I don't know and who I could not pick out of a line up if my life depended on it (but I can identify when they're in their own yard). Neighbors who I've spoken to a couple of times in the couple of years they've been neighbors of mine but who set a bad first impression with me and I've never quite gotten over it.

Yesterday did not help the impression.

I was sitting in my living room, minding my own business, when I see feet pass by one of my living room windows. (I raise the blinds a little so that the boys can look out and see what's going on in the world outside.) Now, I was expecting someone to come do some gutter work for me but seeing as the person coming for that was a stalker guy, I figured he would've rang my doorbell first (which, when he showed up, he did). So, I was curious who was on my property and went to look out the window than I'd seen the feet pass...a different window closer to my fenceline.

Imagine my surprise when I see a woman with a crazed look on her face looking intently at my window, a rake raised over her head and then swing it down HARD on my window. It totally freaked me out. I was staring in disbelief when she raised the rake over her head again. I yelled at her, asking "What are you doing?" There was no indication that she heard me as she brought the rake down on my window again hard (I figure the voices in her head had drowned me out.).

This time I see something fall down the window and then "fly" back up. The crazy lady is wielding her rake at some poor animal!

I ran outside in time to see the rake go over her head again. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" I yelled again.

She looked over at me and I watched in awe how the crazed look went to almost normal in seconds (how do they do that?) and she brought the rake down to her side. "That was in my attic," she said, pointing to the frightened squirrel that was hanging on for dear life to the side of my BRICK house (I've never seen any animal that clutched on to brick!).

She goes on to tell me how it had gotten into their attic through a hole in their overhang (which she pointed to, several times), that it made a lot of noise in the attic and they had to board the hole up. And all I can think is, it's out and they've blocked its entry and it's now on MY propery - leave it the f alone! I stepped towards the squirrel and it flinched, like an animal that's been abused does when it's approached and thinks it's about to be hit. It broke my heart.

So I kind of got between the squirrel and the crazy lady and asked if she was wanting to kill the poor thing and she said no. After that, I don't really remember what we said to each other after that (although I do remember her repeating several times "look at her! she was in my attic! we had to put up a board to keep her out!") but I said something and her response made me think she would leave the poor critter alone so I came into the house.

I really think she would have killed the squirrel had I not gone out there and I came into my house and all I could think was, "it was probably gathering nuts to take home to its family and what would have happened if it never made it back".

Is it too much to hope that one day I'll have a nice, normal, animal friendly family live next door to me? Although the lady who lived there before was a cat lover (known in the city - by everyone - as the cat lady). She was obsessed with cats and had dozens of them. She couldn't stand any other animal though. Someone in between the two extremes I've seen would be nice? Is that too much to ask?

But, what about you? Do you have good neighbors or not?