Happy New Year

It's the time of year when people make resolutions or make goals. I prefer to set goals. A few of mine are as follows:

1. Get baseboards put down in my house (don't ask) and paint (inside and out).

2. Write "the end" at the end of a book...and mean it.

3. Get a passport (and maybe use it).

4. Take bigger chances in my personal life...go out on a limb once in a while.

5. Host at least one party in my home.

6. Cook more - at least once a week - and try new foods and recipes.

7. Reach my next personal goal weight.

So, those are a few of mine. What about you? Goals or resolutions? And how will you bring in the new year? Me, I'll probably be watching my favorite movie of all time. :-)

Thank God I Touch My Country Boy Self

I've blogged before about getting a song stuck in my head at inopportune moments. Well, it happened again this past week while I was visiting my step-father. It's usually not so bad if there is background noise to keep my mind occupied. But that was the thing...we didn't have the TV or radio going very much of the time I was there. So all of the days I was up there (four full days) except one (my dog was "missing" - but eventually made it home, so all's well - so my brain was full of, shall we say, other things that day), my brain was filled with songs. That wanted to come out of me. One way or another. Two of those days the song stuck in my head was I Touch Myself. I'd never heard it before a few weeks ago until Amanda Ashby added it to her blog. Yet when I'm visiting my 80 year old step-father, I can't get it out of my head.

The other day I was up there the song stuck in my head was Thank God I'm a Country Boy.

So there I was, fighting to keep from humming and, heaven forbid, singing these songs during my visit.

Oh yeah, good times. LOL


In other news, I was told that the possible boy-toy/research material guy from work that asked me out is married. He told me he wasn't (I asked him point blank the day I met him because one person at work told me he was and another said he wasn't and I wanted the straight scoop from the source) and I haven't seen him since I talked (again) to the co-worker who had told me he told her he was married. Sealing the deal was that he has three kids (a seven year old and twin 5 year olds) and he'd told the co-worker that the seven year old was his wife's from a previous marriage. So it would seem he's a liar (no matter how you look at it - he lied to one of us) and possibly a cheat. A definite deal breaker for me but I'd like to know - from him - the truth.

I've lost my mind!

Okay, I'm hoping that everyone that has ever read my blog will read it this evening and offer words of ...I don't know, whatever I need. I did something today that I still cannot believe. I'm just in shock. Heck, send your friends over here to offer their advice/comments too - I'll take what I can get.

Anyway, to give you a bit of background, I've always been told I look younger than I actually am. Most people think I'm about ten years younger than I really am. It's one of those things that I think people are nuts when they say that because I look in the mirror and see an old person but enough people have told me I look (ten years) younger, that I have to believe that maybe I do - at least at times.

I'm 46 (just turned) by the way.

So anyway, I was out of the office the last two and a half weeks. During that time they hired a temporary worker to help out. It was a man (which is a bit surprising but that's another story and not relevant to this one).

Monday was my first day back in the office and when I first met this man. He seems nice and all, very gentlemanly. But very quiet, soft spoken.

Today he sent me an email, subject line of "Question". Body of the email says something to the effect of "I want to asking you something. It's personal but it's driving me insane. It would need to be just between the two of us though. If you can't do that, that's okay. Let me know."

Now, he's in the office next to mine. When I've needed him over the last few days I just yell for him. He sends an email asking if he can ask a question. Ohhhh...kay.

I walked over to his office and our conversation went something like this:

Me: Yes? You had a question?

Him: Well, I wanted to put it in an email. (this was kind of weird to me because he has a question for me and I'm standing right there!) I just didn't know if I should.

Me: (law background piping in) If you're not sure you should, you probably wouldn't want to put whatever it is in writing.

Him: Oh. Okay.

Me: What was the question?

Him: I don't know if I should ask it.

Me: Why not? What is it? (because now I'm curious)

Him: Um, well, uh, how old are you?

Me: Why are you asking? (just curious...not suspicious or trying to be secretive or anything)

Him: I don't want to say.

Me: No really, why are you asking?

Him: Well, I wanted to know if you were available and would be interested in going out with me.

Me: (recalling how old he told us he was yesterday but wanting to confirm) How old are you again?

Him: Twenty-four.

It was at this point that I officially lost my mind. I believe it was about 2:08 Central Standard Time today. I'm a bit embarrassed to tell you my reaction but if I want honest feedback, I guess I have to give a full disclosure so here goes (taking deep breath).

Me: You know, I'm almost twice your age. I'm forty-six. (continuing talking without a break so that he can't voice anything negative, as the clock strikes 2:08 CST) But that's not a problem for me...the age difference. I don't have a problem with that. (did I really just say that???)

Him: It doesn't bother me either. (big grin on his face) (pause) and the other thing?

Me: That would be nice. (wait...did I really just agree to go out with someone HALF my age???)

Him: Okay. (he stopped talking here)

Me: Anything else? (thinking he might want to follow up on the question here)

Him: No, that's it.

Me: Okay. (goes back into my office, looks for brain and wonders what just happened)

I re-read his email and saw the "driving me insane" comment so I went back to his office to ask what he meant by that. When I stepped in the door he had a grin on his face and said, "I just sent you an email."

It was at this time that I pointed out that others could read my email and he might want to keep that in mind with anything he sent me. He appreciated the tip and I don't recall if I got an answer to MY question (although I did ask it).

When I went back into my office I had an email with the subject line of "Free" and body that said something like "When will you be free?" (which could be an innocent comment, if you didn't know the context of it, considering he's our "helper")

I gave no response before I left for the day (an hour or so later). Plus, it dawned on me he was born the year I got married!!! Not to mention that after the initial conversation and first email, I almost feel like he's trying internet date me. Anyway...

Am I nuts? Should I even consider going out with him? Please stop laughing long enough to leave comments/advice. And don't forget, send your friends. I need all the help I can get! LOL

Not that I'm disorganized or anything...

Tuesday evening my local chapter had their Christmas party. It was a lot of fun and I spent some time visiting with Alyssa Goodnight.

Well, since there were going to be a lot of authors there, I grabbed all my books (that hadn't previously been signed) by the chapter members and put them in my car. Only I couldn't find one author's book, which was pretty annoying since I'd ridden around with it in my car for months, hoping I'd see her, and I didn't remember taking it out. Anyway, I tore my house apart looking for that book. I even went out to my car and looked under the seats and everything. Couldn't find it to save my life. I mentioned this to Alyssa (whose book I had with me and she graciously autographed - thank you) at the party and she said "weren't you the one who blogged about finding a book on their nightstand". Um, well, yes but it was a cookbook. I don't keep books for reading on my nightstand. But thanks for bringing up the fact that I find things in weird places. ;-)

So, I come home and the next day I decided to blog about the party and tease Alyssa a bit. But when I posted the blog, weird things happened to my blog, so I took it (the post) down. Which didn't help. I shut off my computer a couple of times and it still was doing weird things so I shut it down one more time and went to bed. Yesterday morning everything seemed fine.

Yesterday afternoon was a different story though. Weird things started happening with the blog again and with my personal email so I was trying to get online tech support. It said I was next in line and that the wait would be approximately 7m and 58s. I foolishly thought it meant 7 minutes but apparently it meant months. I eventually disconnected and started messing with things on my own. Now, I've mentioned before that I'm technologically challenged so doing things on my own is never a good thing...just so you know.

I started deleting programs that I didn't recognize in the "add/remove" section of my computer. Let's just say, I don't recommend that unless you know what you're doing...which obviously I don't. My computer was even more off after that. I shut it down and rebooted a number of times and reinstalled Internet Explorer (not one I'd deleted but one I thought needed to be "repaired"). Still had problems. Again, shut it down for the night only this time I still had the problems in the morning.

Eventually I installed something that seemed to do the trick, so all was good. But after I did all that, I decided to play with my playlist (sorry you can't see it Maria...I don't know what I did to make it invisible...it certainly wasn't intentional and well, being technologically challenged, I don't know how to change it!). I was looking for a particular song but wasn't confident that I knew the name of it. I figured it would come to me if I saw it - but I was wrong.

I finally broke down and went to my car to pull my CD to get the name of the song. Guess what I found in the little cubby I keep my CDs in...my author friend's book!!!!!

After all, where else would it be? *sigh* LOL

Tagged again...

Alyssa tagged me again so here we go...

Two Men I’d Love to Date if I Were Single (and they were single)
Do I have to limit myself to two since I AM single? Okay okay...
My secret crush at work
Brad Pitt

I Am Wearing Right Now
Pajamas (If I'd had to list two things, underwear would've had to been the other...I know TMI)

Two Things I Would Want in a Relationship
Honesty
Laughter

Two of My Favorite Things to do
Reading
Having a massage

Two Things I Want Very Badly At the Moment
Winning lottery ticket
extended paid leave of absence

Two things I did recently
Added a playlist for my blog
Finished my last newsletter for my local chapter

Two things I ate today
Eggs (scrambled with cheese)
Biscuits

Two people I most recently talked to
My friend Lara
My co-worker Christine

Two things I’m doing tomorrow
Going to work (ugh! see things I want!)
Making dish for Tuesday's party

Two Favorite Holidays
I'm not a holiday person but I'll say Christmas and Thanksgiving because we get more days off work for those holidays.

Two Favorite Beverages
Strawberry Margarita (no salt, please)
Water

Two Things about me, things you may not have known
I used to teach sign language at the local college
Growing up I was very athletic and very much the tomboy

Two places I have lived
Pasadena, Texas
Baytown, Texas

Two of my Favorite Foods
Most Italian dishes
chocolate

Two Places I’d rather be right now (again, see things I want)
Vacationing on a beach with a stack of good books
Vacationing in the mountains with a stack of good books

4 people I think will respond
Mel
Honey
Laura Drewry
Kim

Building Characters

I think it was Laura Drewry who said she buys magazines to clip out pictures for visuals for her stories. I think it was mainly for the characters but it may have been more.

Her idea sounded great but I couldn't see spending a ton of money on magazines if I didn't want to read them too. Kind of put the idea on the back burner. Well, I subscribe to exactly two magazines...People and Soap Opera Digest. I share People with a friend of mine so if I saw something I liked in it, I wouldn't want to cut it out (guess I could always scan it, now that I think about it) and never expected to see anything in the Soap Opera Digest.

Anyway, I've been kind of behind on my magazine reading (did you know Britney and Kevin Federline were having marital problems? yeah, I read about it a week or so ago...but I digress). So, yesterday I was reading my Soap Opera Digest and I came across this great picture of Crystal Chappell that I had to cut out. It's a picture of my new heroine. It's great. I finally know what she looks like. And now I want to go get something to stick/glue it to so I can work on a collage for the story to put other things on (when I find them) so I have the visuals for my story.

But I'm curious, what methods to you use to put your story together and how do you figure out what your characters look like? Inquiring minds want to know.

The new "slut" dress

I have this dress that I love. It's a long black dress that buttons all the way down the front and is "fitted". I like the dress itself - the way it looks, the way it fits...everything.

Well, a few weeks ago I wore this dress to work. I'd been at the office a few minutes when I looked down and realized more cleavage was showing than I was comfortable with. Hadn't really ever noticed that before. Kind of made me a little self-conscious. A little while more had passed and another cleavage shot moment happened. On the third time, I realized the top button (or two) was unbuttoned. Fortunately I had gone in early that day so that if everyone in the office had gotten an eye full, it wasn't that many - because I realized it pretty early (thank goodness!).

Then today, I wore the dress again. I didn't go in early today so pretty much everyone was there when I looked down and was flashing the world again. Thing is, when that happens you don't know if it just came unbuttoned or if you've been flashing people since you left the house. So, I was already pretty self-conscious (who knew if my flashing was a once a day occurrence or if I'd repeat throughout the day) when I ran my hand down the back of my dress. (I sometimes do this self-consciously because I have a fear of having my dress stuck down the back of my panty-hose - yes I wear those! - and I feel better when my hand has a dress to go down, if you know what I mean.) Well, I had a finger "catch" on a HOLE in the dress in the back! It was a small hole but apparently my chest wasn't the only thing I was flashing. I'm thinking I need a new favorite dress. Maybe, instead of being called my "slut" dress, it should be called my peek-a-boo dress.

Here's to hoping there are no more unintentional flashes in my future. ;-)

Status Please

A number of years ago (shortly after my divorce was final) I had to fill out one of those forms which includes the question of "marital status". Well, as far as I'm concerned there are only two relevant options - married or single. That's it. Period. And I feel rather strongly about this. So, when I came to this question I marked "single" because, despite the fact that there was a "divorced" option, I was single. Didn't matter how I came to be that way...I.was.single.

Anyway, I get into the room with the Nazi nurse (oh yeah, it was a medical facility by the way) and she's looking over my form. She gets to that question and looks down her judgmental nose at me and says, "you've never been married?" with disgust present in her voice.

"Yes I have," I said. "But I'm single now."

"Divorced?" she asked.

"I don't see how that's relevant. I'm single."

We got into a very heated discussion about the "accuracy" of my responses. I challenged why it mattered and she spewed out some garbage about the health of a person based on their marital status. That resulted in me going off on a tangent about people who have been married more than once. One of my sisters had been widowed but was remarried. Did she need to check both boxes, I asked. And would someone like say, Elizabeth Taylor, have to put eight (or however many) X's next to married AND divorced? I also wanted to know about those that were unhappily married...why wasn't their a box slotted for them? On and on I went. In the end I admitted to being divorced but said that I WAS SINGLE!!!!! My little card came back with a WFD for white, female, DIVORCED. I was so pissed off.

Now, I'm looking at a form for my jury duty. It has the options of married, single, divorced or widowed. I'm having the same rebellious response to this question. I'M FRIGGIN' SINGLE!!!!! AND I LIKE IT! So leave me the @$%&*@ alone! I'm seriously considering marking through the divorced and widowed options and just marking single. Or just leaving it blank. I'm just a little worried either of those would come back to bite me in the backside though. But it's definitely pushing some of my buttons (or couldn't you tell?).

It's married or single people. There are no other options!!!!!

So that's one of my big pet peeves in life. What pushes your buttons?

Summons

Yesterday I retrieved my mail from my mail box to find I'm being called for jury duty. This is the third time in my life I've been called. The first time I received the summons on the Saturday before I was to appear on Monday. I had moved and it was just catching up to me. Since I'd moved out of the county, I was excused from service.

The second time came when I happened to be taking some college classes. Someone had asked me to take a class with them and rather than sign up for the one class, I took a full load. I'd planned on doing my duty until I realized it came during finals week and I really couldn't afford to be picked so I used the "student" exemption that time.

This time, I have no outs. I'm going to have to go. But I think it's funny that this would happen on the heels of reading a blog post about jury service and what not to do if you don't want to be picked. Guess I laughed too hard at the post. LOL

Actually, part of me would like to be picked, part of me wouldn't. So, I'm looking for ideas on how to get out of it, should the part of me that doesn't want to get picked shows up on D-Day. At the moment my only plan is to take my book How to Murder the Man of Your Dreams and display it prominently during the voir dire. What do you think?

I know I saw it...somewhere

Earlier this year I bought a Weight Watchers comfort food recipe book. It has some great (low point) recipes in it and I fully intended to make a list of ingredients I needed and purchase them at the grocery store and make all these wonderful new foods.

That's what I intended. What happened is I brought the book home and promptly lost it. I've been searching for it for several months now. I thought it was in my "office" room and have been digging through boxes in there (don't ask) for some time now, without success. It was getting to the point that I was considering the possibility that someone broke into my house for the sole purpose of stealing the recipe book. Not likely I know but what else could've happened?

Then fast forward to today. It's Veteran's Day and we had a little celebration at work for the veterans who work there, along with a couple of special guests, including a WWII veteran. It was really nice. Well, eleven years ago I was in an English class and had to write a paper on a veteran. A co-worker had referred me to a friend of hers and we were going to meet for ten minutes or so so that I could interview him for my paper. Well, ten minutes turned into about four hours (during business hours - oops). I remember him getting emotional and my taking notes. And I remember the final product but not writing it (although I do recall looking at my notes and thinking I needed to include something I'd written down). I was very proud of the final product and to this day it's the one thing I've written that I'm most proud of.

Anyway, since it was Veterans Day (and I had planned on meeting this person at the celebration but due to a mix-up we're having lunch together instead) I wanted to find the paper (yes, I still have it...somewhere). So this evening I went digging for it. Without success (although I found a draft copy of pages 1, 2 and 3).

However, following is a list of a few things I DID find:

1. A pair of smiley face underwear (who they belong(ed) to is anyone's guess).
2. Several paintings I did a number of years ago.
3. Some leftover author promotional items that I thought I had returned (oops).
4. A ton of books (I'm starting to think I might have a problem).
5. The 2006 Golden Heart entries I judged.
6. A book all about Leonardo DiCaprio (don't ask).
7. A letter I wrote to my ex-husband five days before we separated (I read it and I cannot believe I said the things I did in it - and I only remember the date we separated because it was my mother's birthday).
8. Notes, papers and tests from a bunch of my college classes.
9. A belt to a dress I can't quite fit into yet, but is my goal.
10. An erotic story I wrote a number of years ago.
11. A picture I had forgotten I had but never got framed. (I really need to because I really, really like it)
12. Performance evaluations from 1986.
13. Several letters of recommendation, including one from a company that shortly after they gave me the LOR, I left during lunch and never returned.
14. About ten copies of a resume and letter of recommendation on someone I worked with nine years ago.

and.....

15. The cookbook. Wanna know where I found it? On my nightstand!!!!! Yeah, because THAT's where all cookbooks should be kept. (Really makes me wonder where the heck this paper can be now...)

Anyway, if you enjoy your freedom, thank a vet. :-)

Stupid "Announcements"

Lately I've been reading things that just seem stupid. Periodically (monthly, quarterly? I have no idea) my work sends these newsletters about health related matters. This month's(?) newsletter was about diabetes. In one article it was said that one million people (I think that was the number) have diabetes but didn't know it. The thought that went through my head in the instant that I read that was "well you obviously know who they are so why don't you tell them?"

It's like the census poll. They'll say x number of people didn't report their information. If you know that, just add them. Not to mention, why is a poll being done if the numbers are already known? Seriously.

But I also love the cautions on items. For example, I heated up a microwave dinner for lunch today. The instructions tell you to 1) take it out of the box (were there people who would heat it up still in the box???), 2) ventilate; 3) cook on high for so many minutes; 4) remove from microvave (um, has this been an issue for people?); 5) remove plastic cover (okay, I want the names of the people that warranted this addition). Then it has a caution...It will be HOT. Really? No kidding! Learn something new every day.

Thing is you know they have to add all those things because someone did something stupid and there were probably lawsuits involved. But it just cracks me up.

So what about you...read anything lately that made you wonder why those details were necessary?

P.S. To answer a couple of questions recently asked in comments...No I didn't dress up for Halloween (I know, I'm a party pooper). And yes, I am doing some writing.
Thanks for asking. :-)

What's on your Mind?

I'm taking an online class right now (my first in a couple of years) on showing vs. telling. We've been given writing assignments that we're to post for the instructor (and other students) to comment on. Well, I told a friend (which I think most of you know in one way or another) about the class and she signed up with me. She's like the teacher's pet, turning in her assignments first and getting high praise from the teacher and other students. And then there's me...waiting until the last possible minute to turn in my homework, waiting for the instructor to ask "did you not understand the assignment?".

You see, I have this thing about people reading what I've written (yes, I know I have to get over that but does it help explain the secret blog at all?). Anyway, the assignment for yesterday (which we received on Thursday or Friday, and my friend, who went out of town this weekend still got hers in first) was to write a "flowery" scene and then rewrite it, tightening it up. I had a million ideas of what to write about and even started six or seven of them. What I ended up writing was a sex scene. A sex scene! Where that came from is anyone's guess...just something on my mind I guess. LOL

Inspired by Mel, I thought I would post what my local chapter does when they show up to support their friends at a book signing. (I figure it's okay to post here since a couple of the participants have posted it on their respective webpages.) Enjoy. :-)

And what's on your mind these days?

What DWTS and Writing have in common

I was watching Dancing with the Stars last Tuesday and was as surprised as anyone when they announced that Sabrina and Mark were going home. Now, I have to say that there was something about Sabrina that I just didn't like. I don't know what it was - I could never quite put my finger on it - but I just couldn't get behind her, even though I, like everyone else, had her pegged for the finals. I kept saying I wanted her to be gone but still, as I said, like everyone else, I was stunned. Despite how I felt about her personally, she didn't deserve to go.

So anyway, you're probably wondering what that has to do with writing. Well, I'll tell you. First of all let me say that I'm pretty easy when it comes to books. It has to be really bad for me not to find something good about it. I don't even so much mind predictable books if I'm on board with where they're going. However, I love it when things are shaken up by something that is so totally unexpected that you never saw it coming. That if you'd stretched your imagination it never would have gone where the author took you. But it works for the story, and the eventual conclusion.

Tuesday night's show was the unpredicted shake up that is taking the story somewhere else. Somewhere unexpected but in the end everything will turn out fine. (It is, after all, just a show. It's not like anyone's life is being ruined or anything.) But it got me to thinking about my writing. I don't want to be predictable. I want to shake things up and take the reader somewhere unexpected, but where they'll be pleasantly surprised. So that's what I'm working on.

And just think, if I wasn't a DWTS addict, I might never have had that little epiphany. ;-)

Adult Dress Up

In case I wasn't sure that I wanted to keep this blog a "secret" blog, I'm posting a picture that requires it remain secret. Super secret.

I work with this man who I've become friendly (not that kind of friendly...just friendly) with. We talk about personal stuff and I feel very comfortable around him (he knows about the romance writing stuff - I'll just say that).

Anyway, yesterday he was telling me about going to a Halloween party over the weekend. His wife had gotten him a pirate costume, which he refused to wear because it was too hokey or something. So he put on his cowboy hat and boots as his costume. He said he'd been mistaken for Kenny Chesney a few times in the past and figured that's who he'd go as. (Personally, I think he's a lot better looking than Kenny but I saw a picture of him dressed up as Kenny and I have to say, I saw the resemblance, big time!)

Well, someone (his wife maybe?) didn't like the get up so they dressed him up as a flapper (which makes me wonder how bad the pirate costume was...if he'd rather dress up as a woman!). In any event, I could only get him to send me one picture of him in costume. I don't think it's bad but some of the extra "hair" is slightly noticeable but I still have to say, it annoys me when men look better than women when they dress like women. (This wasn't the best picture he had of himself but it was the only one he emailed me so we have to work with what we've got. :-) )

Oh, and for those that may be keeping score...he was husband number one in my husband rating post. :) (And not that you can tell that much but in the second picture in this post, his is the back of the head you see.)

And why this ensures my blog remains a secret blog you may wonder? Well, I promised not to use the picture against him...at least at work. He doesn't know about my blog (so it can't count, right?) and neither does anyone I work with - or who would know him. But I so had to share. LOL

Back in the Saddle

I've been participating in this writing thing called 100 words a day for 100 days. The way it works is you only have to commit to writing 100 words a day - every day - for 100 days. If you miss a day you have to start back over at day one. The e-loop opened in June but I didn't start until after I got home from National (math issue - don't ask). The first time I got to day 25 or something like that before I went to bed without writing anything (I was soooooooooo upset with myself that time). The next couple of times I didn't get past day five before I fell out of sync, and I went long periods without writing anything again. And each time I started a different story (probably not a good idea but.....). I'm on like my eighth do-over now.

And today I started back up again. So day one down! Only ninety-nine more to go. :-)


In other news, my step-father sent me (snail mail) a copy of an article with his picture and a mention of him in it. It was a very sweet article and I went looking online for it...and found it. You can read it here. (He's on the far left in the picture playing guitar. :-) )

You Had Me At Halo

There is an author who occasionally "promotes" other authors' works. She does nothing more than say this book is out and then give the blurb, which suggests she may not actually be reading the books. At least that's the approach I take when I see a book "promoted" on her blog. Anyway, she recently had Amanda Ashby's debut book, you had me at halo (it's not capitalized on the cover either ;-) ). I thought the title was fun, the cover okay and the blurb "interesting". So I googled Ms. Ashby to find out more. I read the first chapter and wanted to read more, so I ordered the book. I read the whole thing this afternoon. It was fun. And sweet. It's one of those books where when you're done, you realize you have this big smile on your face because it's just that kind of book.

I will definitely keep an eye out for future books by Amanda Ashby.

And now, the blurb:

Holly Evans has just seen her body laid to rest. Now she would like to move onto the afterlife. But apparently she has some mortal baggage to unload first, starting with the matter of how she died. Her heavenly shrink isn't buying that she didn't kill herself and says she must return to earth to straighten things out. The thing is, she needs to borrow the body of computer geek Vince Murphy to do it. Oh, and although Vince was supposed to have vacated the premise, he apparently never got the memo.

Now, Holly has forty-eight hours to resolve her issues while sharing arms, legs, and...other things...with a guy she barely noticed while she was alive. But the real surprise is what life has to offer when you have only two days to live it.

Signed Epstein's Mother

Some of you may remember a show from the 70's called Welcome Back Kotter (it's was where John Travolta got his big break, playing Vinnie Barbarino). There was a character on the show named Epstein who always had these notes who had a note for everything, all that were signed "Epstein's Mother".

So, you're probably wondering why I'm showing my age and flashing back to a show that was on the air 30 years ago. Well, I'll tell you.

We're having gorgeous weather here. Gorgeous weather. And I don't want to go to work because it's just wrong to make someone go to work when it's so nice outside. We get a half a dozen perfect days like this a year and I have to spend my day cooped up in an office? Wrong I tell you! So I suggested that I might be *cough* sick tomorrow to a couple of people at work. (Yes, I know, not the best game plan to give your boss a heads' up that you're planning a sick day. On a Friday. When the weather's so perfect. And yes, I know that if I wake up tomorrow and find myself on death's door, I still gotta go in to work because no one would believe I was really sick.)

Anyway, I was surfing the net this evening and came across this article on the msn.com homepage. Apparently there's a market for Epstein's mother's notes, or at least a variation on the same theme. I thought it was hysterical...and maybe a sign. A sign that I'm supposed to take tomorrow off.

What do you think? Any suggestions on what the note to my boss from Epstein's mother should say? We have the whole weekend to come up with something creative. ;-)

Tagged!

Alyssa tagged me. I have to come up with eight "quirky, unusual and/or completely random" things about myself. Then I'm supposed to tag eight people (who I will have to let know I tagged them because I don't think I have eight regular visitors).

Here we go:

1. I served on a grievance committee for the Texas State Bar for a number of years. The preferred panel consisted of four attorneys and two non-attorneys. On my panel I was the lone non-attorney and on the last case we heard, I was solely responsible for saving an attorney's license to practice law. The attorneys on the panel all thought he should be permanently disbarred.
2. When I first started looking for a house almost seven years ago, I refused to look at houses that weren't carpeted throughout. A couple of years later I ripped up all the carpet in my new home and had tile laid.
3. I really like to do nice things to surprise people but I hate to be surprised myself...I like to know what's going to happen.
4. My idea of the perfect relationship is based on my favorite movie - When Harry Met Sally.
5. I saw Titanic in the movie theater five times (it was necessary...really). And then I pre-ordered it as soon as it was available for pre-order.
6. Until very recently (when I bought a book caddy and a bookshelf), I stored my books in my linen closet.
7. I worked as a professional temporary for ~ ten years by choice. I'd work three weeks and take a week off. I could pay my bills but little else but I have to say, having one week off a month was so worth it!
8. The thought of me ever getting married again scares the heck out of me. Just thinking about it possibly happening some day makes me hyperventilate - and I'm not even seeing anyone!

Okay, those are my weird secrets and since I've told you all, I'm probably going to have to kill you now. *sigh* Was it worth it?

And now for who I'm tagging.

The original Alphabet Girls (now known as Deadline Divas):
Honey
Ellen
Kristen
Aura

and non-DDs
Mel
Maria
Laura
Pam

Miscellany

I forgot to bring my lunch today and I deliberately didn't bring a book to read, since it was Weight Watchers' day. However, since I didn't want them to watch me eat the hamburger (I didn't get cheese *sigh*) and fries I bought in the cafeteria, I didn't stay for the meeting. Which gave me some time to do other things. Like read blogs. And maybe write one. :-)

So, I be-bopped over to the Killer Fiction blog (all links on the side-bar) and found out that they have you autograph your breast before they do surgery on it. I didn't know that. And I'm still waiting on a reply as to whether they have you do this pre or post-drugged up.

Then I visited the Deadline Divas. Ellen had a very eloquent post about writing and donuts. And now I just wish our cafeteria had a Krispy Kreme section, but maybe I'll have to settle for cookies. (Hey, I don't have to weigh for another week, right?)

I stopped back by (I say back by because I think she posted this yesterday?) Alyssa Goodnight's blog. She'd posted about reading the latest Harry Potter story (no spoilers please because she has been known to stop by here too). She made a comment of having one regular visitor who had never read a single HP book. I assumed she meant me until 75 more posts (okay I exaggerate, but I wasn't the only one!) came through saying they'd never read any either.

Then I went to Laura Drewry's blog. Did you know Hell has frozen over? I didn't but now I wonder if it has anything to do with our recent cold weather? It was still hitting the 90s as recently as last week here. (Can you say UGH?!) And now it's a pleasant (if not "cool") 60 or so.

And then, last night...did you see Dancing with the Stars? If not, this might be a bit of a spoiler, I'll just tell you that now. Anyway, Marie Osmond fainted while waiting for comments from the judges. It was really strange because she seemed to have all this extra energy after the dance and was laughing kind of manic-ly one minute and on the floor the next. They went to the longest break in the history of commercial breaks and came back and said she was okay. (They said her first words when she came to and saw everyone hovering over her was "oh crap". Poor thing.) Anyway, what I was going to say is that the show was barely over and I popped over to msn.com and saw that they'd already posted an article about it, complete with video coverage. She ended up in last place, with that billionaire...Mark Cuban - is that his name? I'm worried she will get voted off tonight because I had no problem calling in votes for her and Mark hasn't been in the bottom two since that first night, despite being in last place (or next to last place when Wayne was still in the competition) with the judges each week since.

Anyway, that's all this hamburgered/french fried brain can come up with for now. Have you discovered anything interesting recently?

Full Disclosure

Okay, I'm in a bit of a pissy mood so I want to do something to lighten things up, before I do (or say) something I will regret.

Having said that, I've been talking to a lot of men I work with, who happen to be married (and some that are not, actually), of their ideas about the wife's role (and theirs too, in some cases) in their marriage. And then I've been "ranking" them based on my idea of a good husband.

Husband number one said his wife was a stay-at-home wife because he "liked her to take care of things so he didn't have to deal with them." This could mean a lot of things but just on face value, I ranked him kinda low.

Husband number two said that his wife worked part-time, sort of. She does free-lance writing for the newspaper and also sells articles to magazines. I thought this was pretty cool until he told me that she spends too much time on it and it interferes with "family time" because he's "spoiled" and wants her to be available to him at all times. He was serious. He also made husband number one look a lot better.

Husband number three, whose wife works, said he shares responsibilities with his wife. He does most (if not all) of the cooking. I asked him if his wife was a stay-at-home wife if that would still be the case. He said it would be because he likes to cook. Move to the head of the class.

Husband number four is the husband from last weekend. The one who had his wife lifting heavy furniture one month after giving birth saying "it's okay, she's strong." Made husband number one look better but may or may not make husband number two look better. They may very well be even.

Husband number five transferred in from Singapore last December. He'd been here a couple of months before his wife was able to join him and shortly before she arrived he said - and I quote - "I can't wait for my wife to get down here, the laundry's really piling up." All I could think was she was one lucky woman...NOT! Pretty low on the list.

Then there were the husbands-to-be...not that they're engaged or even dating or anything, they will just be probably be married some day, unfortunately. Husband-to-be number one said he used to have a maid. He called her "mom". Then he went on to tell me that him and his roommate are somewhat "messy" individuals and tend to wait for the other to clean up. He considers it a great victory when his roommate gives in first. And there's some "lucky" woman out there that will commit her life to him someday.

The discussion with the other husband-to-be (number two) was more about kids than wives and involved husband number one. HTB#2 was in an accident last week (a ladder fell off a truck and hit his brand new - only driven twice - car dead on. he's okay but the car...not so much) and the three of us were talking about it. Husband number one said something about the car and I said something like, "this from the man who has more pictures of his car in his office than of his kids". HTB#2 said, "yeah, but it's a really cool car." They both lost points on that one.

Of course, this is all subjective and means nothing - for a lot of reasons (not to mention it was all done in fun). One, it's just my opinion. Two, what difference does my opinion make if I'm not the wife?

But it also made me wonder what other people think makes a good spouse? (Husband's opinions welcome too.) What things does your significant other do that makes you overlook the things that make you crazy? And what do they do that make you crazy?

Inquiring minds want to know. ;-)

P.S. Pissy mood gone! (For now anyway :-) )