Growing up my best friend was a boy named Darryl. Our mothers were best friends and so we were always together. We were about five when I realized we had differences. You see, that's the first time I had the "show me yours and I'll show you mine" conversation (and for the record, I've never known a male who wasn't willing to show his - just saying). I was shocked and stunned and devastated because we didn't have the same "equipment". But I still didn't think we were really all that different. Of course, that was before I tried to pee standing up. (Don't ask.)
Until that point in time, I was completely unaware of any boundaries or differences between boys and girls.
But, as time went by the differences seemed to become more "obvious". Interacting with the opposite sex had to mean something. You couldn't just be friends. There was a time when I thought it was just my family that had that view point (I can't talk about my male friends without starting the story with "we're just friends. he's married/gay/whatever." and interjecting that into whatever story I'm telling a couple of times and closing with that as well.) but recently I've found myself being asked about SCG. Granted, there was a time when I had feelings that went beyond friendship for him but that's all in the past. We really are just good friends now.
When I was in San Francisco, SCG kept in touch with me via text messages. He woke me up, at least once, texting me (two hour time difference SCG!!! when you're arriving at work, it's still the middle of the night in SF!). The day I evacuated for Ike, he called me to be sure I was okay and find out what my plans were. He kept in touch with me throughout the entire thing and came over the first day I got home and helped me clean up the mess in my yard, without me asking for help.
He's introduced me to his family - and we've all bonded. (His wife and I go to lunch without him!)
If he were female, no one would question anything about it. But the penis factor makes it all suspect to many - most, actually. I find myself getting asked if he's "my guy" a lot. Uh, no, he's my friend!
I'm tired of trying to explain it. I'm tired of trying to understand it. I'm tired of trying to figure out when it became unnatural to be friends with someone just because of gender. I'm going to quit trying to figure it out. When Harry Met Sally is one of my all time favorite movies and in it they ask the question, can men and women just be friends. Well, you know, I don't care what people think because I've decided I'm going to stop analyzing it and just be thankful that we're such good friends. Because, you know, penis or no penis, such good friends are hard to come by.
1 comment:
Hey! When I was little, my best friend was named Darren. And yeah, we experimented a little bit as teens, but it never went anywhere.
Now, one of my best buds is a guy named Mike. He helped me set up my website, listened to all my work gripes and was a sturdy shoulder while I made the decision to separate from my husband. It seemed like the moment I announced that my husband and I were no longer together, everyone in town said something along the lines of "So, who's the new man--Mike?"
Um, no. We're just friends.
"Oh, suuuuuure you are."
Honestly. He's not sweet on me. In fact, we think the same chicks are hot. LOL
But yeah, there's this need human beings have to see people paired up, and anytime a man and a woman are more than casual acquaintances, the implication is there's "something going on". But in my experience, it's totally possible for men and women to just be friends--even if they're not gay.
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