Understanding Men

Okay, I don't mean to imply that I understand because honestly, I have no clue about them. There are characteristics that I like about them but I really don't get them. It's like their from...Mars or something. (Yes, I know there is a book about that and although I haven't read it, I'm a believer.)



Anyway, here's the latest thing that has me a bit puzzled about them and maybe you can help me out here. The man from work (aka secret crush guy, aka SCG) and I have been talking about tattoos. I don't really recall how the conversation came up but basically we were "supposing" that I would get one in San Francisco. And while we may have carried the whole conversation a bit far (considering he is married) that's not really the point of this post.



You see, he actually wants a tattoo but is a little, shall we say, chicken to have it done. Plus, he thinks he needs to get one where it's visible because after all, what's the point of having a tattoo if no one ever sees it (I, on the other hand, would have one that no one but my warm, close, personal friends - and medical professionals - would ever see...but that's just me). But he also thinks it's not terribly professional to have a visible tattoo in the work environment.



I suggested he get one on his chest, over his heart - of a heart with a little banner that had his wife's name on it. He didn't like that idea because apparently it's not "butch" (my word...not his) enough for him. Not to mention, what would the guys at the gym think? Because, after all, the people he works with go to the gym, and apparently stare at his chest (yeah, don't think I haven't given him grief about that! LOL).



After I let up on the ribbing about the guys staring at his chest at the gym, he said something else...he'd want it to be a decidedly female name. Not one that could be used for either gender (like Stacy, or Terry, to name two).



Uh, did anyone else catch that I'd suggested his wife's name to him? And yes, it's decidedly female. So I don't get the problem. Although I could, if he were having someone else's name tattoo'd on his chest. Can't see his wife being happy about that.



Anyway, that's just part of the question for me. I don't see why a man, who thinks tattoos in general say "bad ass" to those who see them, would think the tattoo suggested would be a problem. I don't get it.



But the bigger question for me is, why is it that men - who are mostly homophobic to begin with - stripping down, comfortably mind you, at the gym? Most women can and will change discreetly in the dressing area and find a private shower, if possible (although I will say that the women's locker at the work gym has a community shower - only one is private) and they typically make it a point not to look at other women dressing. It would be by accident if someone saw a tattoo on another woman's chest (you know, like you turned around and it was just "there"). So why do men do that (strip down) if they think someone is going to look at them and assume they're gay? Anyone have any idea? Because I just don't get it.

More Miscellany

Well, Slime Boy (the probably married man that asked me out) got let go. He was supposed to work until the end of the month but his agency informed us they were pulling him because he wasn't showing up. Someone from our group (not me) said they we were okay with him still coming back because we had things for him to do but supposedly the agency said no - that this wasn't his first time to pull this kind of thing. Oh well, guess we're not going to make it to lunch after all.

As for school, I went to my first "big girl college" class on Thursday. If I haven't shared it here, I'm taking a class on Shakespeare's works. I missed the first class because I hadn't been cleared to register until this past Tuesday. They had been assigned to read the first three acts of A Midsummer's Night Dream. We (and by "we" I mean "they" - since I hadn't read it yet) discussed it Thursday night. I was surprised by the enthusiastic participation in the class. That's not typical of what I remember about classes and certainly not what I'm seeing in my Government class. However, it did occur to me that Government is required so that people are not there because they want to be, whereas there may be some in Shakespeare that don't want to be but, for the most part, people are in it because they want to be. Therefore the people in the Shakespeare class would be more enthusiastic. In any event, I'm enjoying both classes so far. Although...I do have to turn in an assignment for the Shakespeare class on Thursday and I have three more acts to read...

This past week at work was very hectic. A co-worker of mine was out sick with the flu so I had to step in and fill in for her. Which normally isn't a big deal except that she has several people in her group traveling to Saudi Arabia this next week - and that requires a business visa. And that requires a lot of work and coordination to pull it off. There was a last minute addition to the team going and there is so much you have to do to pull it together. I sent off the request for the required Letter of Invitation the traveler needed Wednesday morning. Thing is, that's Wednesday evening for them and their weekend is Thursday and Friday, which meant they wouldn't get my request until their Saturday morning. Since we were told that if the consulate didn't have this traveler's package by 10:00 am on Monday, he wouldn't be going, I went in to the office yesterday so I could work the issue if it wasn't in my inbox. I had nothing in my email so I started shooting off emails because I knew they were no longer in the office. I provided them with my home phone number and email so that they could send it here so that I wouldn't have to go into the office today. I worked for a couple of hours (since I was there anyway) and then came home. I woke up this morning and didn't have an email from them. Shit! I went into the office, hoping I had email there. I'd forgotten to set my alarm so I didn't have time to do anything (like shower!) before I went in, if I needed to contact them when they were in the office. Again, there was no email. I wasn't certain of the time difference but I started making international calls like crazy and freaking out when all I got was voicemail. I left messages, leaving my work and home numbers begging them to call me and let me know the status of the request. About ten minutes later I got a call. Come to find out the letter of invitation had gone out their Saturday afternoon, only they hadn't copied me on the email. Fortunately they forwarded it to me so I was able to put together what I could...now the traveler just has to provide the rest of the documents. Meanwhile, someone else traveling to the Netherlands had a letter of invitation and it wasn't even needed! LOL Just a busy week.

Oh, and in other work news, I posted for a job that I really really want and they called to schedule an interview!!! I really suck at interviews so I asked a friend for some tips and she sent me to monster.com, which has some good tips. However, it suggests you ask the interviewer questions about themselves (because everyone likes to talk about themselves). I don't think I can do that. It says it's good to ask that when they ask you if you have any questions because interviewers hate it when you say you don't have any questions - that they've covered it all (which could explain why I suck at interviews, considering that's usually what I say to that). Anyway, if you have any interviewing tips or possible interview questions, please tell me. The interview is Tuesday and I really want to nail it!

Well, Eight Below just came on and I think I need to turn the TV off, since I bawled like a baby when I saw the TRAILER! Yeah, that wasn't at all embarrassing or anything.

So, what's new with you?

Weird / Random Facts

I think I did this tag recently but since Maria tagged me again, I'll see if I can come up with 7 more weird or random facts about myself.

Here's the rules:

Link to the person who tagged you; Leave a comment on their blog so that their readers can visit yours; Post the rules on your blog; Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog; Tag 7 random people at the end of your post; Include links to their blogs; Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I worked as a professional temporary for ~10 years, by choice. I really enjoyed it and if I knew for a fact I could still meet my financial needs, I'd go back to it again in a heartbeat.

2. The only concerts I've ever been to are Christian concerts or concerts performed at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. I once bought tickets to see the BeeGees but decided not to go at the last minute. It's not that I haven't wanted to go to other concerts, that's just how it's worked out.

3. I was so upset that Erica got over the death of Mike Roy (he later turned up alive, despite dying ON SCREEN for the world to see) so quickly, I didn't watch the soap opera All My Children for years.

4. Way back when, I thought when people said it was a quarter after the hour, I thought they meant it was twenty-five minutes after the hour. (Hey, a quarter is twenty-five cents and I knew money!)

5. My first official college class was Ceramics and my initial degree plan was Visual Arts. I enjoyed it so much that I went on to teach it in the Continuing Education program. I haven't done it in years and I miss it.

6. The only car I've ever owned that wasn't in a car accident while I owned it was my very first car. It was a yellow VW bug. I owned it for about six months and it was working about six days of that (hence the reason it was never in an accident).

7. I bought my first car (the VW bug) for $400 and sold it (six months later) for $2000 (it happened to be running that day). It was during an energy crisis and those cars were selling like hotcakes. Despite the issues with the car, the dealership made a nice little profit on the car when they sold it.

I'll skip the tagging others since I think I already did that. But if anyone feels inclined to play along, let me know so I can stop by. :-)

Not ready for prime time

Do you remember that television show, Magnum P.I. (with Tom Selleck)? It was on during the '80s...when I was married (kinda dating myself there but, oh well).

Well, my then-husband and I never watched it when it was on. And then it went into syndication, while it was still on the air in prime time. You know, like most successful shows do. Anyway, my ex-husband used to stay up really late at night to watch the syndicated version of the show, but he never watched the prime time version. And he'd be dragging by the end of the week because he wasn't getting enough sleep because he was staying up so late.

One day I asked him why he didn't watch the show when it came on during prime time and you know what he said? "It's not as good then."

After I stopped laughing at him (I was supportive like that and all), I pointed out that it was exactly the same show. That the only possible difference would be if they cut parts out of it to allow for more advertising to make more money. He looked at me kind of sheepishly and said he knew but he never watched the show during prime time television because he really thought it was better in the middle of the night (it's amazing what seems like a better idea when you're sleep deprived).

I never got that. Until recently.

A few months ago they started airing Two and a Half Men with Charlie Sheen (it's Charlie, right?) at 10:30 at night. Now normally I'm asleep by then but I guess there were a couple of nights that I couldn't sleep and I caught the show. (I'd never seen it before.) And now I'm hooked. For the last month or so, I've been staying up until 11:00 every night to watch the show. Then dragging my rear into the office the next day because it's been a late night. By Friday I do good to be productive at all after a week of this. But I can't help myself - the shows too funny.

It's also on during prime time (writer's strike and reruns notwithstanding) but I don't watch it then because, well, for some reason...I just don't think it would be as good then. ;-)

Schooling

Well, there have been a couple of changes that have taken place since my last post. The next day I went to work and called a friend and told her I'd registered for the classes. She was excited for me but then asked if I had my two-year degree. I do, so she told me I shouldn't be taking any more classes at the junior college because they won't transfer.

So, I called the "real" college (as my boss calls it, and which makes me want to bitch slap him) and turns out, she's right. I spent THAT morning at UofH (the "real college) trying to register. Long story short, I wasn't able to register that day (or yet even) because it takes a couple of business days to get in the system. Okay. But I did learn that, as I said, I shouldn't be taking any more classes at the junior college (JC). Except for government (it's considered a sophomore class but it's required for UofH). So, I went back to the JC and cancelled all my classes and signed up for government. I signed up for a Monday / Wednesday class during lunch, since the UofH classes would all be at night. Plus, the instructor I wanted only teaches during the day.

Monday was the first class. We spent the entire class going over the syllabus. Being the kind of girl I am, I read ahead. I got to this one point and it was like I had these little people on my shoulders. Not so much an angel and a devil (although one was probably a devil's advocate) as just thinking the situation through. I'll call them RS (right shoulder) and LS (left shoulder). The conversation went something like this.

LS: Crap! We have to write a term paper. I don't want to write a term paper!

RS: Uh, hon, you're an English major. You do realize that there are LOTS of papers in your future, don't you?

LS: Ugh! You're right. (thinking) I wonder how much of my money I can get back if I walk out now and forget the whole thing?

Anyway, for now, I'm waiting to hear back from the UofH to see if (something about being out of school for more than seven years may be a problem) and when I can register for classes. I figure, if nothing else, I'm getting the government requirement out of the way.

I'm also debating what the paper will be on. It has to be on a public policy or law. He gave us list of acceptable topics (others have to be approved by him to be accepted). The list includes:

Capital punishment
Electoral College
Affirmative action
Abortion / Assisted Suicide
Teen Court
No child left behind
Prayer in public schools
Space Exploration

Right now I'm leaning towards the electoral college (since it's an election year), teen court (because I'd never heard of it before), abortion (because I have strong opinions on that), and (although I'd forgotten it until I whipped out the list just now) prayer in public schools (because, again, I have strong opinions about that). Someone at work suggested stem cell research funding, which I think would be a good topic but I'd have to get approval first so I don't know about that one.

What do you think? Thoughts or suggestions on the topics? Please feel free to throw out more topic ideas too! I'm all ears!

Big Day

Last semester I was so jealous because my friends, Ellen and Kristen, went back to college. I've been thinking about it for a long, long time now but I've just never seemed motivated enough to go through with it.

Until now.

And I don't really know if it was motivation so much as, I had to poop or get off the pot (so to speak) because today is the last day I can officially register (there's Saturday but not only will it be a living hell for those who wait until then, I have plans for Saturday). But anyway, I made a snap decision I raced over to the college before I could change my mind...or think about it too much.

Anyway, I get to the college where I'm handed a number (475) and told to wait until my number is called. I whip out a book (Erica Spindler's Copy Cat) and start reading. I don't get very far when they call me back (well, along with a gazillion other people). We are directed to sit at some tables until our number is called (still 475). I pull out the book again. Again, didn't get too far until we're all called again, where we go sit at some different tables.

A man asks us all if any of us need to fill out an application or filled it out before they got there. A half dozen people raise their hands. He tells them that it doesn't matter what number they have, they can go straight to the back of the room for help. I mutter under my breath, "well that bites". The man then says to the group "before you get all upset, that's not the direction you want to go in. Those people are going to be here all night!"

Then he says, "is there anyone here who has not taken a class at this college in the last year?" Well, it's been four years since I took a class so I raised my hand. "Are you sure?" he asked. "I'm positive," was my reply.

He handed me an application and told me to fill it out. Now, normally I'm pretty quiet and say nothing but sometimes, things just come out. "Does this mean I'm going to be sent to the 'crappy, all night' line?"

"Yeah, probably shouldn't have mentioned that part yet," he said.

Crap!

So, I fill out the paperwork and head back to the "crappy" line, which only had two or three people waiting in line. Really not that bad.

Well, until I got my turn. First there was a problem with the computer and then with my file. I was there a good twenty to thirty minutes. I was then sent to another line where someone could tell me where the next line I needed to stand in was. Only the person wasn't there. Fortunately there was only one person in front of me. I was asked what I wanted to sign up for and I told her so she told me to head to "scheduling".

Hmm, I wanted to go to counseling to be sure I was signing up for what I really needed. But, like a good girl, I headed to scheduling (passing the parking pass guy and the cashier along the way). When I get there I tell someone that I really want to talk to a counselor first, so they send me to counseling, which is past the cashier and parking pass guy (PPG). The PPG asks me if I want to get my parking pass as I go by. I tell him I'm not quite ready for that yet...I'll be back.

I get to counseling where they give me a number (15) and tell me to have a seat until they call my number. Then they called out 3. I pulled out my book and started reading again. A good thirty minutes later, I was finally called back. I told the counselor that I wanted to confirm what I needed to transfer. Long story short, the requirements have changed. I do still need the two sciences and history but now I need another government, philosophy and possibly a computer competency class. UGH!

I look at the schedule and decide on environmental science, history and introduction to world religions (philosophy). She gives me the numbers and sends me back to scheduling. I go back past the PPG and the cashier to scheduling. I have help inputting the classes to register myself and get in the science and philosophy class but am told the history class is full. I'm going to need approval from the head of that department to be able to get in. K. Where are they?

I'm sent back to the lobby, past the cashier and PPG (who tries to give me a parking pass again but I tell him...not yet...soon though). I find where I'm going, only to have the department head not there. So I wait until he returns. Turns out it's an instructor I had a hundred years ago for government. I LOVED this guy. Anyway, we chatted for a few minutes and he okay'd me to take the class.

I head back to scheduling (past the cashier and the PPG) and have the full classification overridden. Yea! So I leave there and head for the cashier. I get in line and I'm looking at my schedule.

You know the history class that I had to get special permission to get in? It was the wrong class! It wasn't the one I meant to sign up for!

I get out of line and head back to scheduling. The helpers in there by this time are no doubt thinking I'm too stupid to be in college or figure I started taking classes right out of high school and it's taken me this long to get this far. And even if they don't, I feel like an idiot.

I confirm that I can change the schedule (so soon?) and cancel the first history class that I registered for and sign up for the one I meant to sign up for.

I head back to the cashier (who asks me if I'd cancelled a class or something? Uh, yeah.) and pay for my classes before I visit with PPG and get my parking pass and then going back to my old government teacher and letting him know that I don't need the exception for the original class after all.

I got back into my car and headed home. Only three hours after I'd gotten out of it to start this process. Classes start Monday and I'm wondering...did I do the right thing? LOL

Miscellany

I've been thinking I needed to blog lately but nothing seems to be coming to me. Well, that's not entirely true, things come to me at times when I can't blog (like when I'm at work) and then I can't remember them later (like now).

But anyway, I read all these other blogs and they seem so fluid and fun and light...like a conversation with a good friend would be. Then I think of mine and feel like they're very...structured, for lack of a better word. It's kind of like reading a book. I love reading a book that is light and funny because it just goes so quickly. At Nationals in Atlanta two years ago, I stopped by to talk to Julia Quinn (whose books I love and as a person...well, let's just say I'm glad she didn't press charges after the incident of '05 in Reno...). I remember telling her that I loved her books because they read like she just sat down one afternoon and typed up the whole thing. The next day (or two) after that, I went to her workshop and she said the highest compliment she gets is to have someone tell her exactly that. I wanted to ask her if she was referring to our conversation the night (or two) before but didn't because she may get told that all the time. But anyway, those are my favorite kinds of books to read.

On the other hand, I loved Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. LOVED it. But it was hard to read. At the time I read it I was reading five books a weekend (all part of a contest - not for most books read but to get enough chances at a win - prize was $250 gift card to any bookstore and I really wanted it...not that I have a problem or anything). It took the entire weekend to read Pride and Prejudice. But I loved it anyway.

So, it doesn't have to be an easy read for me to love it but well, it does help. But anyway, I feel like some blogs are the Julia Quinn book type of blog and others are the Jane Austen book type of blog - you enjoy them but man are they hard to get through. I don't know where my blog falls in there - probably in some other category - but just know, I'm working on having the Julia Quinn book type of blog. :-)

In other news, I told my boss (well, actually my boss's boss) that he scared me. I told him that today. He's really the nicest man you'd ever want to have as a boss but he makes me really uncomfortable and just scares the bejeezus out of me. He kept asking why and I told him I didn't know. Then I told him that I hoped his knowing would maybe help the situation. Then for the rest of the day, every time I saw him, he'd curl his lip up at me and growl. I think we're going to be okay - now that the ice is broken (somewhat). :-)

Oh, and then I was talking to one of my work directors (my secret crush, who happens to be married, so we're just close friends). Not sure how the conversation got started but during the course of the conversation I said something about my visa bill being high this month. Told him it was in the neighborhood of $500 (which is a lot to me). He started laughing hysterically, which I thought was kind of rude but he ended up telling me his has run anywhere from $1800 (minimum) to $8800 a month. $8800 in one MONTH????? What the heck is he doing that costs that much? He said several months in a row were that much. If I didn't have anything taken out of my check and didn't need things like food, rent or other essentials, it would take me two months just to pay that bill! This is the same man who told me his daughter wanted a $450 designer purse for her birthday next month. She'll be 13. And he's seriously thinking he'll "work something out" for her to have it. I don't think if you added up the amount of money I've spent in my entire life on purses that it would equal that amount. I think it's insane! But kind of explains the huge visa bill, don't you think?

But anyway, the 12 year old...er 24 year old, that asked me out finally showed back up to work yesterday (he'd been *cough* sick). He sent me an email asking how the holiday was. I said fine. He replied asking what happened while he was out. I replied with "nothing out of the ordinary". He sent me another email asking if we were still going out. I said he might want to stop by my office to discuss. So he did. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Are you married?

Him: No.

Me: Well, I was told that you told someone you were. (in case you didn't know, I tend to get right to the point...very direct)

Him: (looking pissed - and not because I was asking him this, but more like he didn't appreciate someone telling me his business. but I could just be projecting here) Who told you that?

Me: I'm just saying that someone told me you were married.

Him: I'm not. (not looking quite as pissed, as if he realized he didn't want to show that emotion...but again, I could just be projecting here)

Me: Well, I was told that you said that the seven year old was your wife's by a previous marriage. You can mistake a 'yes I'm married' or 'no I'm not married' but saying a child is your wife's by a previous marriage is kind of hard to misunderstand. (did I mention I'm pretty direct?)

Him: Well...I'm...uh...(through gritted teeth or my active projecting imagination) they're all ours.

Me: (made note that he didn't say the child was his but rather 'they're all ours' which would be what someone who helped raise a child might say but doesn't necessarily reflect a shared DNA) Were you married?

Him: Common law married.

Me: Did you get divorced?

Him: (blank look on his face)

Me: You do know that in the state of Texas a legal divorce is required for a common law marriage, don't you?

Him: I didn't know that.

Me: Yeah. You'd have to go through the courts to get a divorce.

Him: But we didn't have any assets. She had a car and I had a car.

Me: Doesn't matter. You'd still need to get a divorce. So, then, you're still married?

Him: I don't...I didn't... (pause) We signed papers. (I'm guessing the declaration of independence or some such thing.)

Me: (deciding to drop the marriage thing) Why did you move down here?

Him: I want to be a tennis pro and there's a great program here to help that. (Baytown, Texas has a great tennis program? Interesting...)

We talked for a few more minutes before I agreed to go to lunch with him on a day to be determined. I told a co-worker about the conversation and she said "Tennis pro? He told me he moved down here to get into criminal law. He said he wanted to be a police officer."

Apparently he's a pathological liar and since that's a deal breaker for me, so there'll be no lunch. Or anything else. Guess someone else will have to help me with my New Year's goal to have a scandalously inappropriate affair this year.

Oh, did I forget to mention that goal? ;-)

I Second That!

On her blog, Maria Geraci said that forget about it by Caprice Crane was worth staying up for. Well, I have to agree with her on that.

Based on her recommendation, I tried to buy the book before Christmas but the bookstore I went to didn't have any copies, so I put in a request for it at the library.

I picked up the copy this past Saturday and sat down to read it New Year's Eve. I was thinking I would read it that afternoon because I didn't know where to count it if I was still reading it New Year's Day. Would it count as a book read last year or this year? I didn't know, so I thought I'd try to read it from cover to cover on Monday.

Granted it was after midnight when I finished it but since I didn't fall asleep or anything before I finished, I think it technically counts as a 2007 read, don't you think?

Anyway, Maria got it right. It was so worth staying up for. I knew in the first paragraph that I was going to like the book and by the middle of page three I had decided that I was going to have to order myself a copy because it was that good and that fun. No, I don't read books a second time but that doesn't mean I don't want a copy for my collection.

And, like Maria, I think I'm going to have to also buy a copy of her other book...Stupid and Contagious.

If you haven't read forget about it and you like fun, laugh out loud books, you might want to consider picking up a copy. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Happy New Year

It's the time of year when people make resolutions or make goals. I prefer to set goals. A few of mine are as follows:

1. Get baseboards put down in my house (don't ask) and paint (inside and out).

2. Write "the end" at the end of a book...and mean it.

3. Get a passport (and maybe use it).

4. Take bigger chances in my personal life...go out on a limb once in a while.

5. Host at least one party in my home.

6. Cook more - at least once a week - and try new foods and recipes.

7. Reach my next personal goal weight.

So, those are a few of mine. What about you? Goals or resolutions? And how will you bring in the new year? Me, I'll probably be watching my favorite movie of all time. :-)

Thank God I Touch My Country Boy Self

I've blogged before about getting a song stuck in my head at inopportune moments. Well, it happened again this past week while I was visiting my step-father. It's usually not so bad if there is background noise to keep my mind occupied. But that was the thing...we didn't have the TV or radio going very much of the time I was there. So all of the days I was up there (four full days) except one (my dog was "missing" - but eventually made it home, so all's well - so my brain was full of, shall we say, other things that day), my brain was filled with songs. That wanted to come out of me. One way or another. Two of those days the song stuck in my head was I Touch Myself. I'd never heard it before a few weeks ago until Amanda Ashby added it to her blog. Yet when I'm visiting my 80 year old step-father, I can't get it out of my head.

The other day I was up there the song stuck in my head was Thank God I'm a Country Boy.

So there I was, fighting to keep from humming and, heaven forbid, singing these songs during my visit.

Oh yeah, good times. LOL


In other news, I was told that the possible boy-toy/research material guy from work that asked me out is married. He told me he wasn't (I asked him point blank the day I met him because one person at work told me he was and another said he wasn't and I wanted the straight scoop from the source) and I haven't seen him since I talked (again) to the co-worker who had told me he told her he was married. Sealing the deal was that he has three kids (a seven year old and twin 5 year olds) and he'd told the co-worker that the seven year old was his wife's from a previous marriage. So it would seem he's a liar (no matter how you look at it - he lied to one of us) and possibly a cheat. A definite deal breaker for me but I'd like to know - from him - the truth.

I've lost my mind!

Okay, I'm hoping that everyone that has ever read my blog will read it this evening and offer words of ...I don't know, whatever I need. I did something today that I still cannot believe. I'm just in shock. Heck, send your friends over here to offer their advice/comments too - I'll take what I can get.

Anyway, to give you a bit of background, I've always been told I look younger than I actually am. Most people think I'm about ten years younger than I really am. It's one of those things that I think people are nuts when they say that because I look in the mirror and see an old person but enough people have told me I look (ten years) younger, that I have to believe that maybe I do - at least at times.

I'm 46 (just turned) by the way.

So anyway, I was out of the office the last two and a half weeks. During that time they hired a temporary worker to help out. It was a man (which is a bit surprising but that's another story and not relevant to this one).

Monday was my first day back in the office and when I first met this man. He seems nice and all, very gentlemanly. But very quiet, soft spoken.

Today he sent me an email, subject line of "Question". Body of the email says something to the effect of "I want to asking you something. It's personal but it's driving me insane. It would need to be just between the two of us though. If you can't do that, that's okay. Let me know."

Now, he's in the office next to mine. When I've needed him over the last few days I just yell for him. He sends an email asking if he can ask a question. Ohhhh...kay.

I walked over to his office and our conversation went something like this:

Me: Yes? You had a question?

Him: Well, I wanted to put it in an email. (this was kind of weird to me because he has a question for me and I'm standing right there!) I just didn't know if I should.

Me: (law background piping in) If you're not sure you should, you probably wouldn't want to put whatever it is in writing.

Him: Oh. Okay.

Me: What was the question?

Him: I don't know if I should ask it.

Me: Why not? What is it? (because now I'm curious)

Him: Um, well, uh, how old are you?

Me: Why are you asking? (just curious...not suspicious or trying to be secretive or anything)

Him: I don't want to say.

Me: No really, why are you asking?

Him: Well, I wanted to know if you were available and would be interested in going out with me.

Me: (recalling how old he told us he was yesterday but wanting to confirm) How old are you again?

Him: Twenty-four.

It was at this point that I officially lost my mind. I believe it was about 2:08 Central Standard Time today. I'm a bit embarrassed to tell you my reaction but if I want honest feedback, I guess I have to give a full disclosure so here goes (taking deep breath).

Me: You know, I'm almost twice your age. I'm forty-six. (continuing talking without a break so that he can't voice anything negative, as the clock strikes 2:08 CST) But that's not a problem for me...the age difference. I don't have a problem with that. (did I really just say that???)

Him: It doesn't bother me either. (big grin on his face) (pause) and the other thing?

Me: That would be nice. (wait...did I really just agree to go out with someone HALF my age???)

Him: Okay. (he stopped talking here)

Me: Anything else? (thinking he might want to follow up on the question here)

Him: No, that's it.

Me: Okay. (goes back into my office, looks for brain and wonders what just happened)

I re-read his email and saw the "driving me insane" comment so I went back to his office to ask what he meant by that. When I stepped in the door he had a grin on his face and said, "I just sent you an email."

It was at this time that I pointed out that others could read my email and he might want to keep that in mind with anything he sent me. He appreciated the tip and I don't recall if I got an answer to MY question (although I did ask it).

When I went back into my office I had an email with the subject line of "Free" and body that said something like "When will you be free?" (which could be an innocent comment, if you didn't know the context of it, considering he's our "helper")

I gave no response before I left for the day (an hour or so later). Plus, it dawned on me he was born the year I got married!!! Not to mention that after the initial conversation and first email, I almost feel like he's trying internet date me. Anyway...

Am I nuts? Should I even consider going out with him? Please stop laughing long enough to leave comments/advice. And don't forget, send your friends. I need all the help I can get! LOL

Not that I'm disorganized or anything...

Tuesday evening my local chapter had their Christmas party. It was a lot of fun and I spent some time visiting with Alyssa Goodnight.

Well, since there were going to be a lot of authors there, I grabbed all my books (that hadn't previously been signed) by the chapter members and put them in my car. Only I couldn't find one author's book, which was pretty annoying since I'd ridden around with it in my car for months, hoping I'd see her, and I didn't remember taking it out. Anyway, I tore my house apart looking for that book. I even went out to my car and looked under the seats and everything. Couldn't find it to save my life. I mentioned this to Alyssa (whose book I had with me and she graciously autographed - thank you) at the party and she said "weren't you the one who blogged about finding a book on their nightstand". Um, well, yes but it was a cookbook. I don't keep books for reading on my nightstand. But thanks for bringing up the fact that I find things in weird places. ;-)

So, I come home and the next day I decided to blog about the party and tease Alyssa a bit. But when I posted the blog, weird things happened to my blog, so I took it (the post) down. Which didn't help. I shut off my computer a couple of times and it still was doing weird things so I shut it down one more time and went to bed. Yesterday morning everything seemed fine.

Yesterday afternoon was a different story though. Weird things started happening with the blog again and with my personal email so I was trying to get online tech support. It said I was next in line and that the wait would be approximately 7m and 58s. I foolishly thought it meant 7 minutes but apparently it meant months. I eventually disconnected and started messing with things on my own. Now, I've mentioned before that I'm technologically challenged so doing things on my own is never a good thing...just so you know.

I started deleting programs that I didn't recognize in the "add/remove" section of my computer. Let's just say, I don't recommend that unless you know what you're doing...which obviously I don't. My computer was even more off after that. I shut it down and rebooted a number of times and reinstalled Internet Explorer (not one I'd deleted but one I thought needed to be "repaired"). Still had problems. Again, shut it down for the night only this time I still had the problems in the morning.

Eventually I installed something that seemed to do the trick, so all was good. But after I did all that, I decided to play with my playlist (sorry you can't see it Maria...I don't know what I did to make it invisible...it certainly wasn't intentional and well, being technologically challenged, I don't know how to change it!). I was looking for a particular song but wasn't confident that I knew the name of it. I figured it would come to me if I saw it - but I was wrong.

I finally broke down and went to my car to pull my CD to get the name of the song. Guess what I found in the little cubby I keep my CDs in...my author friend's book!!!!!

After all, where else would it be? *sigh* LOL

Tagged again...

Alyssa tagged me again so here we go...

Two Men I’d Love to Date if I Were Single (and they were single)
Do I have to limit myself to two since I AM single? Okay okay...
My secret crush at work
Brad Pitt

I Am Wearing Right Now
Pajamas (If I'd had to list two things, underwear would've had to been the other...I know TMI)

Two Things I Would Want in a Relationship
Honesty
Laughter

Two of My Favorite Things to do
Reading
Having a massage

Two Things I Want Very Badly At the Moment
Winning lottery ticket
extended paid leave of absence

Two things I did recently
Added a playlist for my blog
Finished my last newsletter for my local chapter

Two things I ate today
Eggs (scrambled with cheese)
Biscuits

Two people I most recently talked to
My friend Lara
My co-worker Christine

Two things I’m doing tomorrow
Going to work (ugh! see things I want!)
Making dish for Tuesday's party

Two Favorite Holidays
I'm not a holiday person but I'll say Christmas and Thanksgiving because we get more days off work for those holidays.

Two Favorite Beverages
Strawberry Margarita (no salt, please)
Water

Two Things about me, things you may not have known
I used to teach sign language at the local college
Growing up I was very athletic and very much the tomboy

Two places I have lived
Pasadena, Texas
Baytown, Texas

Two of my Favorite Foods
Most Italian dishes
chocolate

Two Places I’d rather be right now (again, see things I want)
Vacationing on a beach with a stack of good books
Vacationing in the mountains with a stack of good books

4 people I think will respond
Mel
Honey
Laura Drewry
Kim

Building Characters

I think it was Laura Drewry who said she buys magazines to clip out pictures for visuals for her stories. I think it was mainly for the characters but it may have been more.

Her idea sounded great but I couldn't see spending a ton of money on magazines if I didn't want to read them too. Kind of put the idea on the back burner. Well, I subscribe to exactly two magazines...People and Soap Opera Digest. I share People with a friend of mine so if I saw something I liked in it, I wouldn't want to cut it out (guess I could always scan it, now that I think about it) and never expected to see anything in the Soap Opera Digest.

Anyway, I've been kind of behind on my magazine reading (did you know Britney and Kevin Federline were having marital problems? yeah, I read about it a week or so ago...but I digress). So, yesterday I was reading my Soap Opera Digest and I came across this great picture of Crystal Chappell that I had to cut out. It's a picture of my new heroine. It's great. I finally know what she looks like. And now I want to go get something to stick/glue it to so I can work on a collage for the story to put other things on (when I find them) so I have the visuals for my story.

But I'm curious, what methods to you use to put your story together and how do you figure out what your characters look like? Inquiring minds want to know.

The new "slut" dress

I have this dress that I love. It's a long black dress that buttons all the way down the front and is "fitted". I like the dress itself - the way it looks, the way it fits...everything.

Well, a few weeks ago I wore this dress to work. I'd been at the office a few minutes when I looked down and realized more cleavage was showing than I was comfortable with. Hadn't really ever noticed that before. Kind of made me a little self-conscious. A little while more had passed and another cleavage shot moment happened. On the third time, I realized the top button (or two) was unbuttoned. Fortunately I had gone in early that day so that if everyone in the office had gotten an eye full, it wasn't that many - because I realized it pretty early (thank goodness!).

Then today, I wore the dress again. I didn't go in early today so pretty much everyone was there when I looked down and was flashing the world again. Thing is, when that happens you don't know if it just came unbuttoned or if you've been flashing people since you left the house. So, I was already pretty self-conscious (who knew if my flashing was a once a day occurrence or if I'd repeat throughout the day) when I ran my hand down the back of my dress. (I sometimes do this self-consciously because I have a fear of having my dress stuck down the back of my panty-hose - yes I wear those! - and I feel better when my hand has a dress to go down, if you know what I mean.) Well, I had a finger "catch" on a HOLE in the dress in the back! It was a small hole but apparently my chest wasn't the only thing I was flashing. I'm thinking I need a new favorite dress. Maybe, instead of being called my "slut" dress, it should be called my peek-a-boo dress.

Here's to hoping there are no more unintentional flashes in my future. ;-)

Status Please

A number of years ago (shortly after my divorce was final) I had to fill out one of those forms which includes the question of "marital status". Well, as far as I'm concerned there are only two relevant options - married or single. That's it. Period. And I feel rather strongly about this. So, when I came to this question I marked "single" because, despite the fact that there was a "divorced" option, I was single. Didn't matter how I came to be that way...I.was.single.

Anyway, I get into the room with the Nazi nurse (oh yeah, it was a medical facility by the way) and she's looking over my form. She gets to that question and looks down her judgmental nose at me and says, "you've never been married?" with disgust present in her voice.

"Yes I have," I said. "But I'm single now."

"Divorced?" she asked.

"I don't see how that's relevant. I'm single."

We got into a very heated discussion about the "accuracy" of my responses. I challenged why it mattered and she spewed out some garbage about the health of a person based on their marital status. That resulted in me going off on a tangent about people who have been married more than once. One of my sisters had been widowed but was remarried. Did she need to check both boxes, I asked. And would someone like say, Elizabeth Taylor, have to put eight (or however many) X's next to married AND divorced? I also wanted to know about those that were unhappily married...why wasn't their a box slotted for them? On and on I went. In the end I admitted to being divorced but said that I WAS SINGLE!!!!! My little card came back with a WFD for white, female, DIVORCED. I was so pissed off.

Now, I'm looking at a form for my jury duty. It has the options of married, single, divorced or widowed. I'm having the same rebellious response to this question. I'M FRIGGIN' SINGLE!!!!! AND I LIKE IT! So leave me the @$%&*@ alone! I'm seriously considering marking through the divorced and widowed options and just marking single. Or just leaving it blank. I'm just a little worried either of those would come back to bite me in the backside though. But it's definitely pushing some of my buttons (or couldn't you tell?).

It's married or single people. There are no other options!!!!!

So that's one of my big pet peeves in life. What pushes your buttons?

Summons

Yesterday I retrieved my mail from my mail box to find I'm being called for jury duty. This is the third time in my life I've been called. The first time I received the summons on the Saturday before I was to appear on Monday. I had moved and it was just catching up to me. Since I'd moved out of the county, I was excused from service.

The second time came when I happened to be taking some college classes. Someone had asked me to take a class with them and rather than sign up for the one class, I took a full load. I'd planned on doing my duty until I realized it came during finals week and I really couldn't afford to be picked so I used the "student" exemption that time.

This time, I have no outs. I'm going to have to go. But I think it's funny that this would happen on the heels of reading a blog post about jury service and what not to do if you don't want to be picked. Guess I laughed too hard at the post. LOL

Actually, part of me would like to be picked, part of me wouldn't. So, I'm looking for ideas on how to get out of it, should the part of me that doesn't want to get picked shows up on D-Day. At the moment my only plan is to take my book How to Murder the Man of Your Dreams and display it prominently during the voir dire. What do you think?

I know I saw it...somewhere

Earlier this year I bought a Weight Watchers comfort food recipe book. It has some great (low point) recipes in it and I fully intended to make a list of ingredients I needed and purchase them at the grocery store and make all these wonderful new foods.

That's what I intended. What happened is I brought the book home and promptly lost it. I've been searching for it for several months now. I thought it was in my "office" room and have been digging through boxes in there (don't ask) for some time now, without success. It was getting to the point that I was considering the possibility that someone broke into my house for the sole purpose of stealing the recipe book. Not likely I know but what else could've happened?

Then fast forward to today. It's Veteran's Day and we had a little celebration at work for the veterans who work there, along with a couple of special guests, including a WWII veteran. It was really nice. Well, eleven years ago I was in an English class and had to write a paper on a veteran. A co-worker had referred me to a friend of hers and we were going to meet for ten minutes or so so that I could interview him for my paper. Well, ten minutes turned into about four hours (during business hours - oops). I remember him getting emotional and my taking notes. And I remember the final product but not writing it (although I do recall looking at my notes and thinking I needed to include something I'd written down). I was very proud of the final product and to this day it's the one thing I've written that I'm most proud of.

Anyway, since it was Veterans Day (and I had planned on meeting this person at the celebration but due to a mix-up we're having lunch together instead) I wanted to find the paper (yes, I still have it...somewhere). So this evening I went digging for it. Without success (although I found a draft copy of pages 1, 2 and 3).

However, following is a list of a few things I DID find:

1. A pair of smiley face underwear (who they belong(ed) to is anyone's guess).
2. Several paintings I did a number of years ago.
3. Some leftover author promotional items that I thought I had returned (oops).
4. A ton of books (I'm starting to think I might have a problem).
5. The 2006 Golden Heart entries I judged.
6. A book all about Leonardo DiCaprio (don't ask).
7. A letter I wrote to my ex-husband five days before we separated (I read it and I cannot believe I said the things I did in it - and I only remember the date we separated because it was my mother's birthday).
8. Notes, papers and tests from a bunch of my college classes.
9. A belt to a dress I can't quite fit into yet, but is my goal.
10. An erotic story I wrote a number of years ago.
11. A picture I had forgotten I had but never got framed. (I really need to because I really, really like it)
12. Performance evaluations from 1986.
13. Several letters of recommendation, including one from a company that shortly after they gave me the LOR, I left during lunch and never returned.
14. About ten copies of a resume and letter of recommendation on someone I worked with nine years ago.

and.....

15. The cookbook. Wanna know where I found it? On my nightstand!!!!! Yeah, because THAT's where all cookbooks should be kept. (Really makes me wonder where the heck this paper can be now...)

Anyway, if you enjoy your freedom, thank a vet. :-)

Stupid "Announcements"

Lately I've been reading things that just seem stupid. Periodically (monthly, quarterly? I have no idea) my work sends these newsletters about health related matters. This month's(?) newsletter was about diabetes. In one article it was said that one million people (I think that was the number) have diabetes but didn't know it. The thought that went through my head in the instant that I read that was "well you obviously know who they are so why don't you tell them?"

It's like the census poll. They'll say x number of people didn't report their information. If you know that, just add them. Not to mention, why is a poll being done if the numbers are already known? Seriously.

But I also love the cautions on items. For example, I heated up a microwave dinner for lunch today. The instructions tell you to 1) take it out of the box (were there people who would heat it up still in the box???), 2) ventilate; 3) cook on high for so many minutes; 4) remove from microvave (um, has this been an issue for people?); 5) remove plastic cover (okay, I want the names of the people that warranted this addition). Then it has a caution...It will be HOT. Really? No kidding! Learn something new every day.

Thing is you know they have to add all those things because someone did something stupid and there were probably lawsuits involved. But it just cracks me up.

So what about you...read anything lately that made you wonder why those details were necessary?

P.S. To answer a couple of questions recently asked in comments...No I didn't dress up for Halloween (I know, I'm a party pooper). And yes, I am doing some writing.
Thanks for asking. :-)

What's on your Mind?

I'm taking an online class right now (my first in a couple of years) on showing vs. telling. We've been given writing assignments that we're to post for the instructor (and other students) to comment on. Well, I told a friend (which I think most of you know in one way or another) about the class and she signed up with me. She's like the teacher's pet, turning in her assignments first and getting high praise from the teacher and other students. And then there's me...waiting until the last possible minute to turn in my homework, waiting for the instructor to ask "did you not understand the assignment?".

You see, I have this thing about people reading what I've written (yes, I know I have to get over that but does it help explain the secret blog at all?). Anyway, the assignment for yesterday (which we received on Thursday or Friday, and my friend, who went out of town this weekend still got hers in first) was to write a "flowery" scene and then rewrite it, tightening it up. I had a million ideas of what to write about and even started six or seven of them. What I ended up writing was a sex scene. A sex scene! Where that came from is anyone's guess...just something on my mind I guess. LOL

Inspired by Mel, I thought I would post what my local chapter does when they show up to support their friends at a book signing. (I figure it's okay to post here since a couple of the participants have posted it on their respective webpages.) Enjoy. :-)

And what's on your mind these days?

What DWTS and Writing have in common

I was watching Dancing with the Stars last Tuesday and was as surprised as anyone when they announced that Sabrina and Mark were going home. Now, I have to say that there was something about Sabrina that I just didn't like. I don't know what it was - I could never quite put my finger on it - but I just couldn't get behind her, even though I, like everyone else, had her pegged for the finals. I kept saying I wanted her to be gone but still, as I said, like everyone else, I was stunned. Despite how I felt about her personally, she didn't deserve to go.

So anyway, you're probably wondering what that has to do with writing. Well, I'll tell you. First of all let me say that I'm pretty easy when it comes to books. It has to be really bad for me not to find something good about it. I don't even so much mind predictable books if I'm on board with where they're going. However, I love it when things are shaken up by something that is so totally unexpected that you never saw it coming. That if you'd stretched your imagination it never would have gone where the author took you. But it works for the story, and the eventual conclusion.

Tuesday night's show was the unpredicted shake up that is taking the story somewhere else. Somewhere unexpected but in the end everything will turn out fine. (It is, after all, just a show. It's not like anyone's life is being ruined or anything.) But it got me to thinking about my writing. I don't want to be predictable. I want to shake things up and take the reader somewhere unexpected, but where they'll be pleasantly surprised. So that's what I'm working on.

And just think, if I wasn't a DWTS addict, I might never have had that little epiphany. ;-)

Adult Dress Up

In case I wasn't sure that I wanted to keep this blog a "secret" blog, I'm posting a picture that requires it remain secret. Super secret.

I work with this man who I've become friendly (not that kind of friendly...just friendly) with. We talk about personal stuff and I feel very comfortable around him (he knows about the romance writing stuff - I'll just say that).

Anyway, yesterday he was telling me about going to a Halloween party over the weekend. His wife had gotten him a pirate costume, which he refused to wear because it was too hokey or something. So he put on his cowboy hat and boots as his costume. He said he'd been mistaken for Kenny Chesney a few times in the past and figured that's who he'd go as. (Personally, I think he's a lot better looking than Kenny but I saw a picture of him dressed up as Kenny and I have to say, I saw the resemblance, big time!)

Well, someone (his wife maybe?) didn't like the get up so they dressed him up as a flapper (which makes me wonder how bad the pirate costume was...if he'd rather dress up as a woman!). In any event, I could only get him to send me one picture of him in costume. I don't think it's bad but some of the extra "hair" is slightly noticeable but I still have to say, it annoys me when men look better than women when they dress like women. (This wasn't the best picture he had of himself but it was the only one he emailed me so we have to work with what we've got. :-) )

Oh, and for those that may be keeping score...he was husband number one in my husband rating post. :) (And not that you can tell that much but in the second picture in this post, his is the back of the head you see.)

And why this ensures my blog remains a secret blog you may wonder? Well, I promised not to use the picture against him...at least at work. He doesn't know about my blog (so it can't count, right?) and neither does anyone I work with - or who would know him. But I so had to share. LOL

Back in the Saddle

I've been participating in this writing thing called 100 words a day for 100 days. The way it works is you only have to commit to writing 100 words a day - every day - for 100 days. If you miss a day you have to start back over at day one. The e-loop opened in June but I didn't start until after I got home from National (math issue - don't ask). The first time I got to day 25 or something like that before I went to bed without writing anything (I was soooooooooo upset with myself that time). The next couple of times I didn't get past day five before I fell out of sync, and I went long periods without writing anything again. And each time I started a different story (probably not a good idea but.....). I'm on like my eighth do-over now.

And today I started back up again. So day one down! Only ninety-nine more to go. :-)


In other news, my step-father sent me (snail mail) a copy of an article with his picture and a mention of him in it. It was a very sweet article and I went looking online for it...and found it. You can read it here. (He's on the far left in the picture playing guitar. :-) )

You Had Me At Halo

There is an author who occasionally "promotes" other authors' works. She does nothing more than say this book is out and then give the blurb, which suggests she may not actually be reading the books. At least that's the approach I take when I see a book "promoted" on her blog. Anyway, she recently had Amanda Ashby's debut book, you had me at halo (it's not capitalized on the cover either ;-) ). I thought the title was fun, the cover okay and the blurb "interesting". So I googled Ms. Ashby to find out more. I read the first chapter and wanted to read more, so I ordered the book. I read the whole thing this afternoon. It was fun. And sweet. It's one of those books where when you're done, you realize you have this big smile on your face because it's just that kind of book.

I will definitely keep an eye out for future books by Amanda Ashby.

And now, the blurb:

Holly Evans has just seen her body laid to rest. Now she would like to move onto the afterlife. But apparently she has some mortal baggage to unload first, starting with the matter of how she died. Her heavenly shrink isn't buying that she didn't kill herself and says she must return to earth to straighten things out. The thing is, she needs to borrow the body of computer geek Vince Murphy to do it. Oh, and although Vince was supposed to have vacated the premise, he apparently never got the memo.

Now, Holly has forty-eight hours to resolve her issues while sharing arms, legs, and...other things...with a guy she barely noticed while she was alive. But the real surprise is what life has to offer when you have only two days to live it.

Signed Epstein's Mother

Some of you may remember a show from the 70's called Welcome Back Kotter (it's was where John Travolta got his big break, playing Vinnie Barbarino). There was a character on the show named Epstein who always had these notes who had a note for everything, all that were signed "Epstein's Mother".

So, you're probably wondering why I'm showing my age and flashing back to a show that was on the air 30 years ago. Well, I'll tell you.

We're having gorgeous weather here. Gorgeous weather. And I don't want to go to work because it's just wrong to make someone go to work when it's so nice outside. We get a half a dozen perfect days like this a year and I have to spend my day cooped up in an office? Wrong I tell you! So I suggested that I might be *cough* sick tomorrow to a couple of people at work. (Yes, I know, not the best game plan to give your boss a heads' up that you're planning a sick day. On a Friday. When the weather's so perfect. And yes, I know that if I wake up tomorrow and find myself on death's door, I still gotta go in to work because no one would believe I was really sick.)

Anyway, I was surfing the net this evening and came across this article on the msn.com homepage. Apparently there's a market for Epstein's mother's notes, or at least a variation on the same theme. I thought it was hysterical...and maybe a sign. A sign that I'm supposed to take tomorrow off.

What do you think? Any suggestions on what the note to my boss from Epstein's mother should say? We have the whole weekend to come up with something creative. ;-)

Tagged!

Alyssa tagged me. I have to come up with eight "quirky, unusual and/or completely random" things about myself. Then I'm supposed to tag eight people (who I will have to let know I tagged them because I don't think I have eight regular visitors).

Here we go:

1. I served on a grievance committee for the Texas State Bar for a number of years. The preferred panel consisted of four attorneys and two non-attorneys. On my panel I was the lone non-attorney and on the last case we heard, I was solely responsible for saving an attorney's license to practice law. The attorneys on the panel all thought he should be permanently disbarred.
2. When I first started looking for a house almost seven years ago, I refused to look at houses that weren't carpeted throughout. A couple of years later I ripped up all the carpet in my new home and had tile laid.
3. I really like to do nice things to surprise people but I hate to be surprised myself...I like to know what's going to happen.
4. My idea of the perfect relationship is based on my favorite movie - When Harry Met Sally.
5. I saw Titanic in the movie theater five times (it was necessary...really). And then I pre-ordered it as soon as it was available for pre-order.
6. Until very recently (when I bought a book caddy and a bookshelf), I stored my books in my linen closet.
7. I worked as a professional temporary for ~ ten years by choice. I'd work three weeks and take a week off. I could pay my bills but little else but I have to say, having one week off a month was so worth it!
8. The thought of me ever getting married again scares the heck out of me. Just thinking about it possibly happening some day makes me hyperventilate - and I'm not even seeing anyone!

Okay, those are my weird secrets and since I've told you all, I'm probably going to have to kill you now. *sigh* Was it worth it?

And now for who I'm tagging.

The original Alphabet Girls (now known as Deadline Divas):
Honey
Ellen
Kristen
Aura

and non-DDs
Mel
Maria
Laura
Pam

Miscellany

I forgot to bring my lunch today and I deliberately didn't bring a book to read, since it was Weight Watchers' day. However, since I didn't want them to watch me eat the hamburger (I didn't get cheese *sigh*) and fries I bought in the cafeteria, I didn't stay for the meeting. Which gave me some time to do other things. Like read blogs. And maybe write one. :-)

So, I be-bopped over to the Killer Fiction blog (all links on the side-bar) and found out that they have you autograph your breast before they do surgery on it. I didn't know that. And I'm still waiting on a reply as to whether they have you do this pre or post-drugged up.

Then I visited the Deadline Divas. Ellen had a very eloquent post about writing and donuts. And now I just wish our cafeteria had a Krispy Kreme section, but maybe I'll have to settle for cookies. (Hey, I don't have to weigh for another week, right?)

I stopped back by (I say back by because I think she posted this yesterday?) Alyssa Goodnight's blog. She'd posted about reading the latest Harry Potter story (no spoilers please because she has been known to stop by here too). She made a comment of having one regular visitor who had never read a single HP book. I assumed she meant me until 75 more posts (okay I exaggerate, but I wasn't the only one!) came through saying they'd never read any either.

Then I went to Laura Drewry's blog. Did you know Hell has frozen over? I didn't but now I wonder if it has anything to do with our recent cold weather? It was still hitting the 90s as recently as last week here. (Can you say UGH?!) And now it's a pleasant (if not "cool") 60 or so.

And then, last night...did you see Dancing with the Stars? If not, this might be a bit of a spoiler, I'll just tell you that now. Anyway, Marie Osmond fainted while waiting for comments from the judges. It was really strange because she seemed to have all this extra energy after the dance and was laughing kind of manic-ly one minute and on the floor the next. They went to the longest break in the history of commercial breaks and came back and said she was okay. (They said her first words when she came to and saw everyone hovering over her was "oh crap". Poor thing.) Anyway, what I was going to say is that the show was barely over and I popped over to msn.com and saw that they'd already posted an article about it, complete with video coverage. She ended up in last place, with that billionaire...Mark Cuban - is that his name? I'm worried she will get voted off tonight because I had no problem calling in votes for her and Mark hasn't been in the bottom two since that first night, despite being in last place (or next to last place when Wayne was still in the competition) with the judges each week since.

Anyway, that's all this hamburgered/french fried brain can come up with for now. Have you discovered anything interesting recently?

Full Disclosure

Okay, I'm in a bit of a pissy mood so I want to do something to lighten things up, before I do (or say) something I will regret.

Having said that, I've been talking to a lot of men I work with, who happen to be married (and some that are not, actually), of their ideas about the wife's role (and theirs too, in some cases) in their marriage. And then I've been "ranking" them based on my idea of a good husband.

Husband number one said his wife was a stay-at-home wife because he "liked her to take care of things so he didn't have to deal with them." This could mean a lot of things but just on face value, I ranked him kinda low.

Husband number two said that his wife worked part-time, sort of. She does free-lance writing for the newspaper and also sells articles to magazines. I thought this was pretty cool until he told me that she spends too much time on it and it interferes with "family time" because he's "spoiled" and wants her to be available to him at all times. He was serious. He also made husband number one look a lot better.

Husband number three, whose wife works, said he shares responsibilities with his wife. He does most (if not all) of the cooking. I asked him if his wife was a stay-at-home wife if that would still be the case. He said it would be because he likes to cook. Move to the head of the class.

Husband number four is the husband from last weekend. The one who had his wife lifting heavy furniture one month after giving birth saying "it's okay, she's strong." Made husband number one look better but may or may not make husband number two look better. They may very well be even.

Husband number five transferred in from Singapore last December. He'd been here a couple of months before his wife was able to join him and shortly before she arrived he said - and I quote - "I can't wait for my wife to get down here, the laundry's really piling up." All I could think was she was one lucky woman...NOT! Pretty low on the list.

Then there were the husbands-to-be...not that they're engaged or even dating or anything, they will just be probably be married some day, unfortunately. Husband-to-be number one said he used to have a maid. He called her "mom". Then he went on to tell me that him and his roommate are somewhat "messy" individuals and tend to wait for the other to clean up. He considers it a great victory when his roommate gives in first. And there's some "lucky" woman out there that will commit her life to him someday.

The discussion with the other husband-to-be (number two) was more about kids than wives and involved husband number one. HTB#2 was in an accident last week (a ladder fell off a truck and hit his brand new - only driven twice - car dead on. he's okay but the car...not so much) and the three of us were talking about it. Husband number one said something about the car and I said something like, "this from the man who has more pictures of his car in his office than of his kids". HTB#2 said, "yeah, but it's a really cool car." They both lost points on that one.

Of course, this is all subjective and means nothing - for a lot of reasons (not to mention it was all done in fun). One, it's just my opinion. Two, what difference does my opinion make if I'm not the wife?

But it also made me wonder what other people think makes a good spouse? (Husband's opinions welcome too.) What things does your significant other do that makes you overlook the things that make you crazy? And what do they do that make you crazy?

Inquiring minds want to know. ;-)

P.S. Pissy mood gone! (For now anyway :-) )

Cold and flu season...or something else?

Yesterday I finished Jennifer O'Connell's Insider Dating. It's a story about a woman who decides to put together a network of women who will compile information, in an anonymous database, on the men they've dated so that other women can make informed decisions about who they date. While I enjoyed the book, I also learned something interesting.

One of the men had this thing where he would sneeze when he was horny. The heroine (and creator of the database) thought it was made up but told her friends about it. One of the friends explained how it was true that what happens in the nasal area is (or can be) directly related to the activity going on south of the border. It cracked me up. I thought it was made up for the story. I really did. I was going to post a blog about it without looking it up online, because it was too funny not to say something about it but I didn't want it to be proven untrue. But I couldn't stand it. In the end I finally broke down and googled it.

And you know what? Apparently it IS true! Something about the tissue and blood flow in each. They work the same and are (or can be) interrelated somehow. It's at times like this that being single sucks because I would so ask the man in my life about it but there's no discreet way to ask someone - a man - if it's true, that I know of. I mean, I have a number of good friends that are male but I just can't see myself asking one of them about this.

What I DO know, though, is that, I will never, ever hear a man sneeze again without wondering (and probably busting out laughing) if it's more than just a nose tickle. LOL

It's good to have friends

The company I work for has silent auctions twice a year to support charities. In the fall, it's for the United Way. In the spring, it's for Relay for Life. Each group/site can/does put up their own auction but anyone can bid on any of the auctions. Oh, and the auctions are staggered when they start and stop so that you can find an auction open for about a month and a half to two months, but typically the individual auctions run about two weeks or so.

Anyway, I recently bid (and won) a desk and a bookcase in an auction for a site across town. I had to pick it up from the person who donated it, who lives 50+ miles from me. Which is fine...I have a good friend who agreed to help me pick it up. Okay.

So, my friend picked me up this morning at 7:00 a.m. so we could go pick it up. We got there about 8:30 or so (we made one stop to pick up something from my friend's friend's house). Now, I should tell you that we found out that the furniture was purchased in Belgium. Packed up and shipped here, and made it in mint condition. This man and his wife (who we found out after the fact delivered a baby ONE MONTH AGO! when we asked why he'd let her help move furniture so soon after giving birth, his response was "it's okay, she's strong." Way down on the "good husband" competition [another story that I'll blog about soon] if you ask me!) loaded the furniture into my friend's truck. They gave us blankets to keep it from scratching, rope to tie it in (we couldn't close the thing...what do you call it? the tailgate? anyway...) and secured it safely for us and sent us on our way, all without causing any damage whatsoever to the furniture. My friend and I get back to my house, with it in tact, and promptly drop the desk out of the bed of the truck.

Actually the damage was minimal and on the back of the desk so I wasn't terribly upset, truth told. But then, we realized that we couldn't fit it through my garage door as it was. So we tried to lift the top off of it but only one side would come up so she started twisting it, which did a bit of damage. I looked at it and didn't say much because I knew I could glue it back and it would be fine. But we couldn't get it into the house. I finally went to get my neighbor to ask for help who promptly pulled off the pieces of wood that I'd planned on securing with glue, compromising the furniture even more.

Long story short, we finally got it disassembled enough to get it into the house but I really need to find the wood glue. Oh, and by the way, the desk is a lot bigger than it looked in the picture, which was part of the problem. But we got it in and assembled, which was the important thing, right?

Anyway, afterwards my friend decided that she wanted to trim back my trees and dig up the few remaining landscaping rocks I had left around my tree (I dug up most of them a long time ago and then ran out of steam and never finished it.) And you know, there are a lot of people who if they'd done that at my house, I would've been offended. But not this friend because I know she didn't mean anything bad by it. It was just cracking me up because she just makes herself at home here, and only good friends do that.

Which was the point of this blog...it's good to have good friends. :-)

Because Alyssa Asked

Alyssa said she wanted to hear about my dreams about the man in the picture from our Bosses' Day Celebration, so I'm going to tell you. I just want to point out though that this type of post is the reason that few people know about this blog because, this isn't something I would tell everyone. And, in fact, it may be necessary for me to enter the blog-relocation-program after I post this, but I'm going to do it anyway. Because I was asked to. ;-)

Okay, the first dream I had about him (his name is Tom) occurred right after our department's audit had been cancelled, shortly after the first of the year. We were both on the audit team (along with the man who is sitting a bit away from the table...Richard). We learned a lot along the way and we were all doing so much and it was a very busy time. And then we were told it was cancelled - postponed actually, but cancelled for then. Richard kept saying we'd have a celebratory lunch and stuff. He talked about awards and roasts (he's good at that sort of thing). I thought there would be some sort of recognition and if there was, I wasn't included in it. But in any event, that's the backstory for this dream...

In the dream, we were having our celebratory luncheon, only we had to organize it and set it up ourselves. We were setting up the tables...they were gorgeous with nice table cloths and great center pieces. Then I saw this oversized set of teeth in the middle of the table. You know, kind of like the joke teeth that have a wind-up key you use to make them chatter? Only they didn't have the wind-up key. And they were really standing out on the otherwise elegant table. I muttered something to myself like "what the heck are those" and went to grab them off the table. Tom yells at me to leave them alone...they're his! I was stunned and couldn't believe he'd want them on the table and said so. Then he pointed out that they were an exact replica of his own teeth and then he smiled. And they were. And he thought it was some kind of award and was very proud of them. And then I woke up.

That's the dream that I've told everyone at work and they all got a kick out of it (but think I have weird dreams). It's the other dream that my force the relocation thing...

I haven't told this dream to a single, solitary person. But for some reason, I have less of a problem posting it on a public blog. What does that say about me? Wait, don't answer that!

The back-up to this dream is that Tom's office is across the hall from mine, a couple of offices down. If you walk straight out his office door, you're standing at the water cooler. That's it. That's the whole set up.

Okay.

So, in the dream, I was walking out of my office for some reason. At the same time, Tom was walking out of his office with some lady. They stood next to the water cooler and talked for a few minutes. But, while they stood there talking, Tom's pants fell down and either he doesn't wear underwear or else they fell down too because he was...exposed. And I was mesmerized. I was just staring. Stunned. And wondering why no one else seemed to notice that his pants are around his ankles and he's just dangling there. Literally. I couldn't move. I just stood there, looking...there. The two of them continued to talk and suddenly he wasn't "dangling" so much anymore, if you know what I mean. Then he was dangling less and less...and less, until there wasn't anything dangling about him. And my gaze never waivered. And they both still seemed oblivious. I was basically drooling, because, at least in my dreams, he's very well-endowed. I'm just saying. Anyway, that was basically the whole dream and I woke up with a start and was embarrassed. I could barely face him for a couple of weeks after that. But, the thing that really got me was, the very next day, I was walking to my office after lunch and as I approached my office, he stepped out of his office...with some woman. And they stopped to talk beside the water cooler. I swear, I froze in place, unable to move. I probably stood there in the same place for thirty seconds...just staring. Unfortunately that's where any resemblance to my dream ended. His pants stayed up and any images of his "endowment" have only been seen in my dreams. But at least there is that. ;-)

Okay, so there you go. Those are the dreams I've had about this man.

Now, I just have to find a new place to blog..... ;-)

Great Advertising

This Commercial came on during Dancing with the Stars tonight. I'd never seen it before but it's my new favorite commercial. Too funny!

Finally Pictures!

I finally have pictures of our Bosses' day celebration. I only have a few to post today but you get to see the transformation of the bosses. :-)

Here's the before (minus one player - who became Sonny later):

And here's the after:

From right to left we have: Marilyn Monroe (anyone recognize the boa she's wearing? got that at the RWAOL party in Dallas LOL), Jeff Bagwell, Sonny, Cher, Elvis (I was kind of disappointed we didn't have the big hair but oh well), Dean Martin, Bill Gates and Donald Trump. (The woman on the end was our MC, another staff support.) The video showing in the background was supposed to be played while the celebrities were getting dressed but because of the technical difficulties we had, we were behind on the videos. (Totally unrelated...see the guy leaning on the table? I've had some really "interesting" dreams about him. And I'll leave it at that, for now.)

And now, a couple of close-ups of the celebrities, in the "green room":

The man on the left (Donald Trump - his hair was not that yellow in person) is the VP of our organization. Elvis is our department head.

Sonny (who, for the record, is completely bald underneath that wig) is a team leader and Cher is my boss.

It was a lot of fun and they were all good sports. :-)

Great hooks

I recently volunteered to be a judge for a contest to help out a friend. I printed out the entries I'm slated to judge (the contest is all "electronic" but I have to hold something to really be able to read it - and a laptop doesn't count) and read my first entry yesterday afternoon.

Now, I should preface this by saying I often forget to point out the positive things when I'm judging or critiquing. I mostly point out the areas that are confusing to me, are not consistent or where typos are involved. It's not that I don't find things that are really good and strong in a story, it's just that I usually forget to point those things out. (Bad Lucy!)

So anyway, I'm reading my first entry and the first sentence (which is also the whole first paragraph) is great. We're talking great hook, great opening, made me excited to want to read more, kind of first sentence. Really, really good. So good that I actually remembered to make a note of it on the contest entry.

And that's where it stopped being good. I literally had to read the second paragraph about five times to understand what the author was trying to say, and even then I wanted to change it - dramatically. In fact, it could have been eliminated altogether, in my opinion.

This was followed by a page or so of - in my opinion - unnecessary backstory stuff. And then we get back into the story, where I read another page or two before it dawned on me...nothing after the first sentence is in any way, shape or form, connected to the first sentence. The wonderful, perfect sentence that had me excited for more didn't really seem to fit in the story that was unfolding. I made note of that on the entry - where in the story it dawned on me that the story was not connected to the opening sentence.

I finished reading the entry and never did find anything to connect the unfolding story to the first sentence. It was kind of strange to me.

I've heard that you only get a few lines (to paragraphs) to hook your reader, and if you don't, you've lost them forever. I've also heard that whatever you promise in the opening lines (paragraphs) you better deliver, or else expect the same result of the hook.

This entry definitely hooked me with the first line but I was so disappointed that it didn't follow through on the promise it made with that first line. Fortunately that's not part of the judging criteria. However, it does ask you to judge if the story, as presented, can sustain a novel (or something like that). I had to say that it was really hard to tell, based on what was submitted. This is one (and I made this comment too) that I would have liked to either read more or read a synopsis on because I couldn't tell anything about where it was going. We had to judge the "chemistry" of the hero and heroine (even if they hadn't met yet) as well. There was only one male mentioned in the entry and the interaction between him and the heroine was the equivalent of a bartender in a bar saying "here's your drink ma'am," and having no further contact with the heroine. I have to assume he's NOT the hero (meaning the hero wasn't even introduced in the entry), and if he is, there wasn't enough there to form an opinion.

Anyway, I guess the bottom line (or the point of this post) is, hooks are great but they need to relate to your story, otherwise you're just throwing unrelated one-liners into your story. They might be good. They might be funny. But if they take your reader out of the story, or kill their enthusiasm for the story, then they're not really doing their job, now are they?

Hairy Scary

I went a little over a week ago to get my hair cut and my eyebrows waxed. I went to Mastercuts. Now I know what you're thinking but I rarely have anything difficult done to my hair so I didn't see any reason NOT to go there - or to go somewhere else and pay $90 just to get the ends of my hair trimmed.

So that's where it starts. Well, maybe I should back up and tell you that the last time I got my hair cut I had a "long" layer put in and asked them to cut it so that it would curl under easily, if not naturally. Considering the curling under thing is done the same as a layer, just underneath, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that my hair chronically curled UP all the time - no matter what I did. And it didn't look good. I felt like an aging rock star that had a shag/mullet combo and didn't care that it looked awful. Except I did.

Anyway, when I got to Mastercuts I got a Hispanic hair dresser. I don't mind this except that during the course of my visit, I got the distinct impression that she struggled with the English language. Here's why:

She called me back and asked me what I wanted done with my hair. I told her that I just wanted the ends trimmed, a little taper around the face and cut so that it would curl under easily. I also told her I wanted my eyebrows waxed.

She said okay, then walked away to get the drape thing to cover me with. When she came back she said, "You want same haircut?"

Um, no. I just told you what I wanted, I thought. I SAID, "No. I just want the ends trimmed, a little taper around the face and I want it cut where it will curl under easily. I also want my eyebrows waxed."

"Oh, okay."

Then she starts cutting on my hair, and I swear she cut each one individually, using weird methods I've never seen used before. But I say nothing. Just when I think she's done she ask, "You want your bangs cut?"

My bangs were at chin level, which in my book means I do NOT have bangs anymore. I just looked at her and said, "No."

"Oh, okay."

Then she reaches in her drawer and pulls out something I've never seen before and aims it at my head. "Excuse me," I said. "What are you doing?"

"It's a razor."

Okay, not what I asked, and I'm even a bit more concerned. "What are you planning on doing with it?"

"It's a razor."

"Yes, I know. What are you going to do with it?"

"It give your hair texture."

"How? What does it do?"

"It's a razor."

"Yeah, I don't think we'll be needing it today."

"No? Oh, okay."

She put it away and then said, "That's all then?"

"I still want my eyebrows done." (Obviously I'm slow.)

"Oh, okay."

So we go over to the area where she's going to do my eyebrows. She doesn't ask me anything, she just starts applying wax. Not a lot you can do at that point. And really I was okay, up until she put it at the top part of my eyebrow. I said nothing because, really, what are you going to do? If it's munked up, it's munked up.

She worked on them for a while and then started tweezing the strays and she's spending a lot of time on them and finally hands me the mirror. I look at the right eyebrow...it looks good.

I look at the left eyebrow...it looks good too.

I look at them both...they don't match!!!!! I nicely point this out to her and she did fix them, as best she could. No one has said anything but I think I know why. Here's the deal, I can only raise my left eyebrow by itself (I can raise them both together but I cannot raise the right one by itself) and the left eyebrow is slightly higher than the right so I figure people think I'm giving them one of "those" looks. I'm not but that's how it looks - at least to me.

So if you see me and think I'm giving a look, I'm really not...it's just the result of a bad eyebrow wax. LOL

By the way, for fun posts (and entry into a contest), stop by here and post a comment. Tell them Lucy sent you. ;-)