Just Friends

Can men and women be just friends? I don't know exactly what brought this thought to mind. It could have been that I watched When Harry Met Sally last weekend. It could have been the Roula & Ryan's Roses from a couple of weeks ago where the boyfriend sent roses to a woman he said was "just a friend". It could be the comments my boss made recently to me. Who knows?

Anyway, I've been kind of pondering this question in my head for a week or so now. I work in an environment where it's mostly men. One side of the hallway is described as the "more mature" hallway. The other side is the "fresh out of college" hallway.

The "mature" side of the hallway consists of men my age and older, all married - once - for a lot of years. The other hallway is young pups, all experiencing the real world for the first time. I get along with all of them but I find that I'm more comfortable with the more mature side of the hallway. Not because I'm closer in age to them but because I'm more comfortable with married men. I feel less threatened by them for some reason. I feel I can joke and tease them and not have them think I am making a play for them. I know I'm probably wrong about that but, for whatever reason, I'm more comfortable around married men.

Now, let me say this, I had a husband that ran around on me and I promised myself that I would never, intentionally, make another woman feel the way I felt when I found out what my husband was doing. Married men as prospective dates is not an option for me. Someone who would cheat WITH me would cheat ON me. Sorry, been there (being cheated on - not with), done that, not interested in a repeat. And if I learn that a friendship I have with a married man makes his wife uncomfortable, that ends it for me because I don't want to be the cause of any marital strife. I'd mourn the friendship but, in the big picture, marriage trumps friendship. That's just how it is. I know that's not how everyone treats things but that's how it has to be for me.

So my question to you is, how would you feel if your husband or significant other had a close friend of the opposite sex? Would you be okay with it or would you feel threatened? Or would you feel someting else entirely? And if so, what? Inquiring minds want to know.

There is no I in TEAM

But, as a former boss of mine pointed out, there is a "ME" in team. I work with a group of women who can come together when we have to but for the most part, everyone's out for themselves. Remember when I told you what we were going to do for bosses' day? Well, one staff support wasn't going to be able to make it on the day we'd originally scheduled it. She was disappointed but she was looking for the best interest of the group and still said she'd take care of the things she'd agreed to do. Her buddy, however, decided to boycott the thing. She didn't say it was because her friend couldn't make it but it was pretty obvious. And she made it very difficult for the rest of us for a while. To the point I didn't care if it even happened.

Well, last week, when I was pretty much at my wits end (I ended up taking off half a day Thursday and all day Friday of last week...before I went postal) when I received an email from the "difficult" one, instructing me to change the date. She wanted it to be tomorrow. I looked at calendars and it did actually look like a good date (October wasn't really a good month for any of the bosses - there was just the one day that I had booked), so I resent the meeting notice to everyone.

So okay, we're doing it earlier. Those that haven't started preparations had less time (the buycostumes.com site was pretty much sold out of everything we needed within days of when we'd made decisions a couple of months ago). And then Tuesday - three days before the event - the staff support that would have had to miss it on the original date comes to me and tells me she doesn't want to play the game. The fact that I didn't beat the snot out of her is a testament to my restraint (as well as the healing powers of the full body massage I got Thursday afternoon).

Anyway, we tweaked the game a bit and it might even be more fun now. There's only one thing I don't like about the new way but I guess it ensures we're all involved in the game so I can deal with it. Now the celebrities won't rotate around the tables but rather sit at the front of the room. There won't only be three questions asked - all ten will be asked (the staff support will be asking them and that's what I'm not happy about, but it's really not bad). It was thought that it might be hard to figure out some of the celebrities so we decided to help out by having stars on the walls with the possible guesses (with a few red herrings) printed on them. They're going to be brought (in character - we all bought costumes for our guys) back into the room based on the most right answers for a celebrity so doing the music like we originally thought we'd do is out. But I was looking for some music last night and found this for when the celebrities leave the room and the teams are "deliberating" their answers, and this for the time when the "ballots" are being tabulated and the celebrities are getting dressed - it's a bit fuzzy but since it's just filler, it doesn't really make that big of a deal. Everyone seemed to like the idea. Someone is bringing in a strobe light so that when the celebrities reappear it gives the illusion of flashbulbs.

Everyone gets a bit a prize and the winning table (most celebrities guessed - and we do have a plan in the event of a tie) gets meal tickets for our cafeteria (most the guys eat there anyway so they'd probably really like that).

Bottom line, for a while there I wasn't looking forward to it but I'm getting excited about it again. I even made potato salad this evening for forty. Do you know how much potato salad that is??? A LOT!

Anyway, hopefully I'll have pictures available tomorrow to be able to post but if not, early next week at the latest. I really think it's going to be fun. But if it goes as well as I'm thinking, I'm already wondering how we can top it next year.

I'm excited. Oh, but it's still a secret so don't tell anyone yet. ;-)

Conflicts

Okay, so I mentioned that I had a conflict with DWTS last night. That conflict was a show I don't tell many people that I watch...I Wanna Be A Soapstar on soapnet. This is its fourth season and the shows air on Tuesday's at 7:00 (thank goodness for DVRs!). It's a reality show where actors compete for a contract on a soap opera. This season they're competing for a role on Days of Our Lives. The host is Cameron Mathison, who is also on DWTS.

The Soapstar show is filmed in advance, except this year the finale is going to be live and the audience will get to have a say in who wins the contract. I think it will be interesting to see how that plays out, if Cameron lasts on DWTS, because the live show of Soapstar would air at 7:00, followed immediately by the elimination round of DWTS at 8:00.

Anyway, a week or so ago I found a blog by the contestants of Soapstar. Each week the contestants post a blog about what happened, from their perspective. There was one contestant, Bo, who really annoyed me with his posts. He had bonded with two other of the men (not that way - that I know of) and thought they were the three best...he refers to them as the three musketeers. He didn't want any of them to get "killed off" and went so far as to point out why others should be killed off. Didn't like that.

I read all that and told my friend, who also watches the show, that Bo had to go. Period. He's been struggling from the beginning anyway so let's just get rid of him already! The next show though, his buddy Travis was killed off. (Travis was a frontrunner from the beginning but had had a very poor showing that night.) Bo's on air comments were like his blog. "Travis shouldn't have left. They could have killed off Yves or Ashley but Travis didn't deserve to go." (Those may not have been the exact words but that is what he said. Ashley was the other frontrunner but she seems to be losing steam herself. I'm leaning towards wanting Jimena and Yves to be in the top two.)

So last night they all had to play drunks. They were drinking for the first time after their SO broke their hearts. Bo said he was going to play it like he was crushing on the bartender. I wondered what he would do when he found out the bartender was going to be played by a man but I have to give him credit, he still did it and it was fun to watch. But then, all of the competitors did a great job last night I thought (as did the judges). And I momentarily forgot about his poor sportsmanship that made me want him to be killed off. So that when he WAS killed off, I was disappointed (I had wanted it to be Justin - his other buddy, who also seems to have a bad attitude about the competition, just in a different way). Once I remembered, I was okay with the decision last night.

Now, as far as DWTS goes, I so do not understand the judges. Monday night they told Jennie Garth how wonderful she was (and I agreed) and gave her all straight sevens. Last night I thought Cameron Mathison had a poor showing (and the judges seemed to agree), and he also got straight sevens. What gives? I still gave Cameron some of my votes but I really didn't feel like he'd put in the work some of the others had.

Lots of conflicts.

Happy Dancing

Well, today officially starts the new season (although I do think some networks - maybe non-network? - started last week). Dancing with the Stars premieres tonight and I'm excited. The women dance tonight and the men tomorrow (which I have a conflict with *sigh* but I'll work it out). I'm also looking forward to Private Practice, Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters. There are a couple of other shows I'll probably watch - at least initially (like Grey's Anatomy and Ugly Betty) but those are my (at least initially) must see TV shows. Obviously I'm an ABC girl. :-)

So, what premiere's are you looking forward to?

Debut Author - Dawn Temple

To Have and To Hold has a scheduled release date of October 1 but the author was told it would be on the shelves this Tuesday (September 25?). However, since I have a copy I purchased from Waldenbooks and another friend has a copy she purchased from Walmart, I figure it's okay to get the word out now. Go buy this book! :-)

THE WAY TO A WOMAN'S HEART...

When Lindy Monroe separated from her workaholic husband, Travis, after a devastating miscarriage, she fled to her beloved grandfather's country farm. After he died, a brokenhearted Lindy was shocked to learn that he'd left his home to her on one impossible condition: She had to live there with her husband!

City boy Travis was definitely out of his element in Land's Cross and with the beautiful women he'd briefly called his wife. But country life agreed with Travis more than he'd ever expected, and also fanned the fires of a failed marriage that hadn't quite burned to ash. Would Travis be able to set the reluctant Lindy's heart ablaze again?

Sing Along

I want to make fun of people today. Before you go thinking awful thoughts about me (well at least about wanting to make fun of people), just know I'm going to give y'all something to make fun of me about as well.

Have you ever been singing a song, loudly, where others could hear you, only to realize that the words you were singing weren't the actual words to the song? Think Phoebe Buffay (that's the right spelling...I looked it up) from Friends from an early episode when she thought Elton John was singing to Tony Danza instead of the tiny dancer. That kind of thing.

Or, the guy from my church when I was in high school. We sang a song quite frequently that had the words, "Thy loving kindness, is better than life." He thought the words were, "Thy loving kindness is better than wine." I mean, His loving kindness IS better than wine but it wasn't the right word. He said he was very embarrassed when someone pointed out his error.

Okay, so mine...I recently bought a Bon Jovi CD that has his song It's My Life on it. Now, I really do know the right words (well, I think I do anyway) but when I'm singing it? The wrong words come out - a lot. For Example:

Right way (we think): It's my life. It's now or never. I (ain't) gonna live forever.

Lucy's way (we know): It's my life. It's now or never. I don't wanna live forever.

and another passage...

Right way (we think): I just wanna live while I'm alive.

Lucy's way (we know): I don't wanna live while I'm alive.

Now I'm sure there's some subliminal or Freudian message I'm telling myself with the way those passages come out of me but I'm choosing not to look to closely at it.

But anyway, do you have any songs that the wrong words just want to come out of you when you sing them, loudly, where people can hear you? And if so, please share (I shared mine. ;-) )

The Secret's Out

Which movie heroine are you?

Rose DeWitt Bukater You are Rose DeWitt Bukater from "Titanic"! You are beautiful and trusting, with a hidden internal strength. Many men find you attractive, but you would only give your heart to someone who loves the real you. While you sometimes doubt your life's direction and your place in the world, you're open to see where fate takes you.
Take this quiz!








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Okay, that isn't the only secret that is out...my blog has been discovered. Alyssa Goodnight installed a statcounter on her blog and since I access her blog from this one, she found me out. I mean, she knew I had a blog but she couldn't remember the name of it. Guess that'll teach me...

Possums: Enter at your own Risk

That's what the sign on my property line should say. The death toll is three so far with a fourth one injured after it took a tour of my living room. (It should be noted that I was not the one who hurt it. I was too afraid to get near it to hurt it.)

I just have to wonder what this family of possums is thinking. What...Bubba went out and committed suicide at the foot of my bed (which about gave me a heart attack when I discovered him) so they sent out Archie, looking for him? (Archie being the one that brought my neighbors and myself closer while he checked out the wall to wall tile in my living room.)

I figure Archie went back with the injured paw and told them of the twenty-five bears he had to fight off to survive. He, of course, maimed and/or killed all the said bears. He milked it for several weeks before they sent Chuck out to avenge the injury.

Chuck wasn't so lucky and never saw the inside of the house. He did, however, make it to the back porch before HE committed suicide.

When he didn't make it back for a week (or so) Mama possum came looking for him. She too made it to the back porch before SHE committed suicide. She's currently sitting in my trash can on the curb, even though trash day isn't until Wednesday (let the homeowner's association write me up...that thing is NOT sitting in my garage until Wednesday!).

All I can say is, I hope the possum family stopped at three and that daddy possum ran away to another neighborhood because, despite all the practice I've been getting lately, I don't ever want to have to dispose of another suicidal possum. It's not as fun as it sounds.

Technologically Challenged

I think I may have mentioned that I have a technological disability. If you've ever felt stupid when dealing with a computer or cell phone, this post may make you feel better about yourself.

Okay, so I have a cell phone and have had one for 12 or 13 years. It's never been something I've used a lot though. It's always just been there for "just in case" needs. And I can tell you that when my very first cell phone came with features like call waiting, I didn't see the need. But it was standard and it was more of a hassle to get it removed than to just keep it, so I kept it. I didn't figure it would be an issue, since I wasn't giving out my number anyway.

So, the few times someone DID actually call in when I was using the phone, I disconnected all parties. Don't know how I was doing it but, if nothing else, I was consistent. About the time I would figure out how to work all the features, I would get a new phone and start the process all over again.

Well, a few weeks ago I switched cell phone service providers. As such, I was required to change phones. Now, I still don't see the need (for me anyway) to have all these extra features. While I am using my phone more frequently now, it's still a "just in case" phone to me (although, I haven't replaced my dead house phone yet so it's the only phone I can be reached on at the moment - but that's another story). Even so, the sales person tried to sell me their top of the line phone. She kept showing me these phones with all these features ("you flip it this way for easy text messaging" she said. "I don't know how to text message," I replied. "This one takes pictures," she said. "I don't need a phone that takes pictures," I replied. "You can make this one have a bigger screen," she said, "for when you're on the internet." "I don't need to access the internet from my phone," I replied. And on it went.). I did end up getting a camera phone though, mostly because you can't hardly get a phone without it anymore - plus it was free with my company's plan.

Which, by the way, I want to recommend an improvement to the (or maybe just my) camera phone. You see, I was snapping shots of my dogs and got a great one of Max. Thing was, no one told me that you had to SAVE the picture (yes I'm THAT stupid) so I lost it when I flipped it closed. So my recommendation is that the phone alert you to the fact that it's not saved. You know, like maybe making a sound and then asking "are you sure you want to close this document/picture without saving?" before you lose it. It's just a thought.

But, anyway, I'm still learning the new phone. And last night I was talking to a friend of mine and I heard this beep. I wondered what it was. It was brief so I wasn't sure. Then it beeped again. I started thinking someone was calling me. It was going to be my first call waiting call. I was pretty anxious about it because of my track record of losing both callers in the past.

Then the beeping stopped. My friend had been talking the whole time and I didn't want to interrupt so I hadn't said anything. Then the beeping started again. This time I interrupted my friend and said "Hold on, I think I have another call."

I pressed the "send" button, assuming that's what would switch me to the other call, right? Well, after I pressed it I hear the hi / low pitch you hear when you're phone has been off the hook too long. Figuring I'd missed the caller, I pressed the "end" button. When I tried to get my friend back, I found out that I had disconnected "both" calls. Doh!

I called my friend back, apologizing for disconnecting our call. We were only talking for a few minutes when, again, I hear the beep. I sighed heavily and said, "I think someone is calling me."

She said something and I responded, "Did you hear the beep?"

"Yes. Wait, I think I did."

On cue the beep sounded again. "That?" she asked.

"Yes!" I replied.

"Honey, that's in the store. I'm in WalMart! That's a sound in the store."

Oh.

So I hadn't really disconnected two callers, like I'd thought. No. I'd merely HUNG UP on my friend, for no apparent good reason! LOL

Not embarrassing or anything.

Now, don't you feel better about your skills? ;-)

Hard Work

A couple of years ago I questioned the way my chapter gets its officers. You see, a nominating committee is put together and they announce who will hold what offices. No voting or anything. It's just a done deal.

Okay.

So this year I'm on the nominating committee and I'm seeing why it's done that way. No one will agree to take on the offices! There are only a handful of people I haven't talked to - half of which I don't want to see on the board and the other half, people who have been on the board forever and have expressed a desire to have a break. And I still have two offices to fill! (insert head banging smilie here)

I really want to see a good slate of officers this year. This past year we had a really weak leader and the entire chapter suffered for it. This "leader" never does anything. She will send email after email asking if this or that is done, we say yes and she keeps sending the emails, saying she's getting really worried? Why, I don't know. We'll have done the work already! It's really annoying.

Plus, she never communicates what she IS doing. For example, one of members recently had a death in the family. I passed this information along to the board and found out that she's been sending things out on behalf of the chapter/board without telling us. Someone else stepped up and said that was wrong. She finally commented last night and said she was sending things out on behalf of the chapter - not the board, like that meant it didn't matter we didn't know. I jumped on that and (nicely, but I think everyone knew my "intent") said the board should be in the know no matter what. She hasn't responded to that yet.

She also didn't respond when she sent an email about our upcoming meeting(s), asking which one we should recognize a debut author and who was in charge of bringing the bubbly. What she didn't respond to was my email asking HER to take care of that (again, nicely but everyone probably knew what I was getting at). And I know she was still online in her email because, she sent me an email asking me to give her an update on the slate of officers - something I said I'd do when I had a full slate. I've been avoiding communicating that with her though, because she's expressed an interest in being on the board (but only in particular positions) and I don't think she's a good representation of our chapter. In any event, I've decided to take a page from her book and just ignore what I don't want to address. Works for me.

In other news....it's gonna be another long week for me. I woke up this morning (it's Tuesday, in case you don't stop by for a day or two) and thought it was Saturday. I HATE when that happens.

How's your week going so far?

Harley

I didn't blog about this before but for a while there, I was really worried about Harley.

I came home last Friday and he had a slight limp - very slight limp. I might not would have noticed except that he kept holding up his front paw when he sat or stood for any length (and not necessarily long length) of time. I gave him an aspirin that night, which seemed to help.

Saturday, I considered taking him to the vet but I'd given him another aspirin and he seemed to be okay so I decided against it, thinking he'd be fine.

By Tuesday, when I returned to work, not only was he still limping (and it was more pronounced), his energy level was falling. If I could get him to eat he would empty his bowl but he didn't seem to have any real interest in eating, except to make me happy. The biggest indicator for me was that he had no interest in my used kleenex either (and that was a big deal! believe it or not). I started to get really concerned.

Wednesday morning he seemed to have energy so I thought he was getting better. He didn't eat breakfast though, but then he really hadn't been eating much for the last couple of days so I didn't get too alarmed, just from that.

That evening though, he ate his dinner - for me - and then threw it up. He still wasn't interested in used kleenex and when he jumped off the bed (he hasn't had any problems jumping up during this whole ordeal), it was like he didn't have any front legs at all. He came down chest first.

Thursday morning he didn't have energy and didn't eat so I called the vet and scheduled an appointment for that afternoon. When I came home for lunch it seemed like it was an effort for him to open his eyes. By now I was really freaking out. Oh, and someone had mentioned that I needed to watch to see is if was doing his business or not (I don't usually see that because they let themselves out), so I'd gone out the night before. Sure enough, one of my dogs was having diarrhea - I assumed Harley.

I took him to the vet and he would notice the house cats and other animals there but if they moved outside of his eye-line, he didn't see what they did...he wouldn't even move his head. I was hoping for some miracle drug that would help my baby.

Anyway, the vet had me walk him around a bit and commented that his back-end seemed stiff when he walked. He noticed that he seemed to be favoring his front leg but he also thought the rest of him was stiff. Of course, I'm thinking it's because he's not moving much at all but I didn't say anything.

He told me that it was probably one of two things...a virus that is going around that attacks their joints and muscles, or he was injured. He said that all the other symptoms - his lack of interest in food, throwing up, diarrhea, lethargy - were all consistent with an injury. But he wanted to treat for both - just in case.

So he gave him a shot of an anti-inflammatory and sent me home with an anti-inflammatory drug and an antibiotic.

Within a couple of hours of the shot, he was like a new dog. Which of course made me wonder if he wouldn't re-injure himself...I still wonder about that. Anyway, I came home with a week's worth of drugs and just a few days in, he's almost back to 100%. First thing in the mornings he's limping because the medicine has worn off but his appetite is back, he's as curious as ever and he's back to jumping at the sound of me pulling a kleenex out of its box.

Life is good.

Roses Day

So, I was listening to Roula & Ryan's Roses this morning and the situation was that this couple had been in a relationship for 2.5 years I think she said. They're 18 or 19 (even though the form says you have to be 21 to play) and currently live in different areas because of college. They've been having a long-distant relationship for a while now and he spent the summer in summer school so they didn't really see each other. He was supposed to come down this past weekend but he called and cancelled so she had Roula call him and offer him roses to see who he would send them to.

So, Roula calls and a woman answers. She sounds like she was asleep when the call came in. They ask for the boyfriend and she, groggily, says "it's for you" and the guy picks up. He also sounds like he just woke up. Anyway, Roula does her spiel and offers him roses and he happily accepts. When they tell him they can be sent anywhere he tells them to send them there - to his dorm. Roula says okay then asks for a name and a greeting for the card. He gives the name of someone other than the girlfriend and the girlfriend immediately jumps in (which she's not supposed to do, by the way).

The guy was livid that she'd had the radio station call him and said he'd talk to her off the radio and hung up without further discussion. The girlfriend, at this point, is sobbing uncontrollably. They talk to her for a minute and then let her go and open the discussion up for the DJs and then callers (which I didn't get to hear but one).

The DJs were hung up on the age thing and college saying what the guy was doing was to be expected and to have a long-distant relationship when you're that young isn't really realistic.

I don't remember what the caller I did hear said but all I could think was DID NO ONE ELSE PICK UP ON THE PHONE BEING ANSWERED BY ANOTHER WOMAN????? WHO SOUNDED LIKE THE PHONE HAD WOKE HER UP??? AND THAT THE BOYFRIEND WAS RIGHT THERE?

I don't know, it was just kinda weird to me. But, I guess in the long run, at least now the girl knows...time to move on.

Rules of Fashion

This past Friday I was digging through my closet to make a decision as to what to wear. I spied a white dress of mine that I haven't worn in year...years. My reasoning being that the "rule" is you can't wear white after labor day and that was going to be the last day I could wear it until after Easter - according to the rule. As I pulled it off the hanger I saw another white dress that I haven't worn in years. Well dang, I wasn't going to get to wear it until after Easter now! Oh well.

So, I was driving in to work, thinking about this "rule" about white. I've never really understood it because in this part of the country, we don't really have a fall or a winter. Our fall is like most other people's summer. And our winter is like most other people's fall. Winter is virtually non-existant (although we do usually get one overnight hard freeze a year...usually). Spring is my favorite time of year with great temperatures, low humidity but well, I'm getting off topic, now aren't I.

Anyway, even though I don't really agree with the rule, I've mostly followed it (except when I could fit in about two outfits, one of which was white...then I totally blew off the rule because I didn't really want to wear one outfit every day of the world). But I was wondering, as I drove in to the office...how does that impact brides that get married between Labor Day and Easter? If they wear white are they considered fashion disasters? And if they wear off-white, or some other color, are they considered little hoochies because they didn't wear white? (No offense to any hoochies or anyone who just didn't want to wear white to their wedding...it's all in fun here. ;-) ) Seriously, what is the protocol for brides that get married between those dates? Or is there one?

Although, it may all be moot. My co-worker told me that it is no longer taboo to wear white after Labor Day. However, when I asked her where she had heard this, she didn't remember. She also didn't remember if it was just for our neck of the woods or everywhere. It could be she dreamed it and it just had this lasting effect on her for all I know.

So, what I want to know is, was my co-worker right? Is it now okay to wear white after Labor Day? And if so, does that mean it's okay to wear white year round or is there another date now that white is no longer acceptable - in terms of being fashionable (and what is it?)? And if your answer was yes, I might need to know your source...you know, just to be thorough. ;-)

New Look

I decided I needed a new look and this is what I decided on.

You know, I really kind of like it. :-)