In Shock!

I told a friend of mine yesterday that I'd blog about an eHarmony discovery I made. I didn't blog about it last night because, well, I was re-reading old posts to see if I needed to delete and/or amend any posts before I gave it out to someone (from eHarmony) who'd trusted me with their myspace information. And well, since this has always been a "secret" blog, I've kind of been pretty open on it so I wasn't sure if I should give it out "as is", if you know what I mean. I read about a year's worth of posts and didn't see anything I thought was particularly bad (although I do know of one dated further back that I wouldn't necessarily show this person).

I didn't post this morning because I was too busy replying to an email from this person. But I'm here now.

Anyway, remember eHarmony match Don? The one I thought I might know? It is him! At each step I worried that he would close the match before I found out for certain but I decided that, no matter what, I had to be honest in my answers (although I did keep in mind that I might know this person). As things progressed I thought to myself that if it wasn't the Don I knew, it was a Don I thought I wanted to get to know. So either way, I didn't want the match to be closed.

Thing was, he always seemed to take a few days to respond to things so it seemed like it was really going slow. I guess I had posed some questions to him and was waiting on a response when he gave me a photo nudge without responding to the questions. I thought the match might get closed at that point because it seems to be pretty important to some of the guys on there. And in case I haven't mentioned it before, I put in my profile that I don't have a picture to post so if someone wanted to close a match based on that, it was okay with me because they wouldn't be a good fit for me anyway - words to that effect. My response, though, was to give him a photo nudge. He has photos posted but to be shown "at a later stage" (we've exchanged email addresses and I still can't see them!). I guess he got the message because he responded to the questions and we progressed from there.

At the open-ended questions phase, I asked him about his extended family and what holidays were like. I figured his answer would give me a better idea whether it was the Don I thought it was or not. I was all but convinced by his response but there was a sliver of doubt there. I asked a couple of friends of mine what they thought - whether I should ask him or not tell him I suspected I knew him. They didn't think I should ask but I felt it would be dishonest to not ask. I didn't want to play games. Figured the worst thing that would happen is he would close the match - without answering!

Since I've already mentioned that it is him and that we've exchanged email addresses, I think it's safe to assume he responded to me. It's been fun catching up with an old friend. It's been hysterical to hear how we viewed things that happened differently. I just found out yesterday that it was him but we've exchanged a couple of long emails and I guess it seems longer. Plus, it almost feels like no time has passed since we were last spoke (a hundred years ago!). It's just kind of weird but I can't stop smiling. :)

Sucked in

A friend of mine is a huge fan of The Bachelor series. I'd never really watched it but the little bits I'd seen, well, I just didn't get it. Really didn't get it. But I know lots of people have to get it because it's been around for a while. Anyway, right now I couldn't tell you to save my life what made me decide to watch The Bachelorette this season - but I did. And I'm hooked. I want to know who DeAnna picks and if it's a love match or just a potential love match. I've been amazed at the choices she's made. Not because I thought they were good choices but because I didn't get them. I don't get the appeal of Graham. Never have. A person's personality can make them more or less attractive to me and Graham seemed lacking in that area - to me - so he was never this sexy thing that everyone seems see. I've been stunned at how long he's lasted. Now, I will say that on the home town dates he showed a different side of himself - something we haven't seen on air before. THAT Graham was fun and sexy. Until they sat on the bench to talk, when his appeal bottomed out again. I'm telling you, if Graham hadn't been the one to go Monday I would have lost all enthusiasm I've been getting for the show.

On the other hand, I'm just a little bit in love with Jesse now. He doesn't have classic good looks by any means but he's a good guy. He's the kind of guy you can have fun with, who would respect you, and who would take care of you. Major sexy in my book. And when they walked into his house and he explained that thing on the wall about the foundation for kids, it really touched me. It brought a smile to my heart and a tear to my eye. That's when I fell in love with him. Plus, I LOVED his parents. Seriously, they were great. His dad came out in a cap that had long hair attached to it, as a joke. Just shows they have great senses of humor and lots of personality. You see where Jesse gets it from. I didn't really get the labeling in his kitchen and I have to be honest, from what I've been hearing about it and others' reaction to it, I'm thinking it could be something that, over time, could result in justifiable homicide. But at the time I wasn't thinking like that. And since he's so respectful of the people in his life, he might be willing to give that up...especially if it could save his life. ;) I think Jesse has a good shot at being DeAnna's top choice.

Jason is another contender for DeAnna's heart. For me, though, he lost me early on. On the very first night I fell a little in love with him but once he had some alone time with DeAnna and he didn't tell her about his son, he lost me. My friend, the one who got me hooked, keeps telling me that they never know when they're going to be interrupted so she can forgive him for that. Okay, I can see that. BUT, when he got the one-on-one date he wasn't as open as I thought he should be. It was like her opinion of it mattered to him. As if, if she had a problem with it he would get rid of his son. Seriously, that's how it came across to me. I fell instantly OUT of love with him at that point. He won points back when he was there for her after she'd let Robert and Fred both go, but not enough for him to be the sexy, appealing man he'd once been to me. My friend fell in love with him on the home town visit and thinks DeAnna should choose him. She also doesn't think DeAnna would have brought him this far along if she wasn't going to pick him - because of his son. He's a bit of a dud to me.

Then there's Jeremy. I don't really know what to think of him. He's just kind of there for me. Not appealing. Not sexy. But not, NOT either of those things either. But listening to her the other night she kept saying, "he's just perfect. he has the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect (whatever)". And all I could think was, nothing's perfect. My advice to DeAnna is, if it looks too good to be true, it probably is. There were just things on the home town date that just gave me the creeps about Jeremy. There are some that think Jeremy will go the distance but for the life of me, I can't see why.

Oh, but the point of the blog was, my friend was telling her boyfriend how funny it was that I'd never watched the show and now I can't wait until Monday nights to see what DeAnna does with the men. I mean, I really still don't get the appeal of the show but I'll be there Monday night, watching with the rest of America.

P.S. I was going to tell you how my friend has also got me watching So You Think You Can Dance (another show I don't get the appeal of) but this blog post ran longer than I meant for it to so maybe another time..... ;)

Okay, I'll play

My Town Monday

So, I popped over to Alyssa's blog and she was following Travis Erwin's lead to spotlight someone - a celebrity - from your town. I knew (or believe anyway) that Jennifer Garner's grandmother lives here but, well, she's not the celebrity.

Anyway, in my google search, I discovered that Renee Zellweger was born in Baytown, Texas! That's right, born on April 25, 1969, Renée graduated from University of Texas, Austin with a BA degree in Radio, Film and Television.

Her family now lives in Katy, Texas. And in case I haven't mentioned it, I lived in Katy for four years. Both are relatively small towns on either end of Houston (Baytown is east of Houston and Katy is west of Houston).

So, there you go. Renee Zellweger is from the town I now live in. What celebrity is from your town?

The blog about nothing

Remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine invited George's girlfriend to the movie? George was upset because his two "worlds" were colliding. Well, I have a similar situation going on at work. See, I used to talk about my friends from law to my friends in engineering and vice versa. Then recently part of my group moved their offices down by law AND a friend of mine from law came upstairs to my area and met SCG. Worlds are colliding!!!

Speaking of work, things are not much better there and I'm picking up old habits. You know, of the eating-under-stress variety. I've gained ten pounds in the last month. I still went to Weight Watchers though (and had to pay) because I figured if I was having to pay for it, I'd get more motivated to get the weight back off.

And since we're talking about getting the weight back off, I should mention that I've been going to the gym the last few days (7-day free pass to 24-hour fitness gym). Water aerobics and yoga may look like wimpy classes but they both kicked my rear! The step-aerobic class I took this morning had less of an impact than they did. I'm thinking of joining for the summer, since I don't anticipate having a lot of time in the fall - what with school and all. The company I work for gets a good discount on memberships.

This online dating thing is going slow. I guess it was last weekend that I decided to take the bull by the horns and quit waiting for things to happen. I went through the 50+ "matches" that were open and either closed them or sent out questions. I've only heard back from two or three - one of which closed the match because they were pursuing another relationship. One of the ones I closed replied back that they thought we had potential and wanted me to reconsider. I re-read his profile and I only see two things that would have made me close the match - but one was a biggie. And there is one match who I think I may know:

Don is a 50 year old laboratory analyst - the age fits. We went to the same church (it's a huge church so that doesn't guarantee that I know him). He was married for 23 years when his wife passed away last year - which would be about right (length of marriage, that is) if it were who I think it is. He did mission work - again fits the man I know. Where he lives fits, as do his answers to my questions. He has pictures but they haven't been released for me to view yet so... Oh and if it is the guy I think it is, we went out once many, many years ago. I thought it was a "as friends" thing but, apparently, he thought it was a "date". We had a very nice time but he never "invited" me out like that again. After I married (anniversary was 25 years ago this past Wednesday), I saw him and he confessed to me that he'd had strong feelings for me. I don't think I ever suspected that but I do know that when he told me I'd wished I'd known at the time because he was such a good guy. Meanwhile, I'm just waiting for the time when I know for sure if this the same Don or not.

So, those are some things going on in my world. What's going on in yours?

Flashbacks

A couple of years ago I was so excited to be leaving the department I worked in. We had a manager that micro-managed everything. You'd get yelled at for working too much overtime and then get yelled at because you weren't working enough overtime. You'd get called into meetings where they'd yell at everyone collectively, telling everyone that they're not being productive enough during the work day - and this would take two hours for them to tell you this sufficiently. It was awful and I was miserable. When I found out I was "escaping" the group, I literally skipped down the hall singing. Literally!

Okay, so for the better part of the next just over two years, I was happy. I mean, there were some things that weren't great at times but no matter what else I knew, I knew I could go to management and freely discuss what was going on without fear of punishment. For that time I was allowed to work on my own. I was treated like a responsible adult. I was shown respect. And I got used to it.

Then, on May 5, 2008 at approximately 4:03 p.m. my world changed. The manager who treated his staff like all managers should treat their staff, called me into his office. He said - and I quote - "Lucy (okay, so it's not verbatim but you get the idea!), there's an announcement going out tomorrow...and your name's on it."

When he said that I had a sinking feeling because a then-friend of mine had told me earlier in the day that she had gotten a job she had applied for. A job that was also within our group. They hadn't announced what they would do with HER job but when I found out she got the job (and at the time I thought she deserved the job and wanted her to get it...things change though - but that's a whole other story) I told her how happy I was for her but I hoped they didn't move me into her job.

It was at approximately 4:03 p.m on May 5, 2008 that I found out I was in fact getting her job. (here is where my head hits the table in a "just kill me now" kind of way) On the plus side of getting her job, it really is a good opportunity for me in the big picture. On the down side of getting her job, her manager is the Nazi boss from hell. Seriously.

I wanted to get off on the right foot with my new boss so the day after I found out I was going to be working for him I went to see him. I told him that I wanted to discuss his expectations for me. He told me he didn't have time and I've gone back to him I can't tell you how many times to try to take up this conversation with him again and to date, we have not had that conversation.

We did, however, have a safety walk-thru last week in my office. A safety walk-thru is where one person looks around your area and identifies things that may be unsafe and if they truly are unsafe, you have to change them.

Okay. I can handle that, right? First thing he mentioned was that the shelves I had moved into my office weren't secured. A valid comment. I got it fixed. Next thing he tells me is that he doesn't like the printer on my desk. He also doesn't like this little stand that I bought - since I got the new job - for my desk. He didn't want me to have my lotion, calendar or candle on my desk either. Not to mention that he had a problem with the inspirational quotes I had saved from my dove candies - those he wadded up and threw away, saying I didn't need them. I was forced to throw out boxes that I was saving for shipping. Never mind that the boxes were stored under a table and weren't visible unless you crawled under my desk. And yes, he crawled under my desk. I had a second printer in my office - a color printer. It was used for the job by the person who had the job before me. Nazi boss from hell told me I had to get rid of it - no discussion (let's just say, SCG benefited from me having a "safety" walk-thru). He wouldn't let me keep a briefcase I'd gotten from the company. He went through my drawers and threw out more personal stuff. I just couldn't believe what he was doing.

And so it went. By the time it was all over I was just dumb-struck. I mean, what the heck was all that? But I'm new so I'm busy taking measures to comply with his requests/demands. Then the next morning I woke up pissed. I'm talking royally pissed. After all, what the !*&$@ did a color printer have to do with safety? Or boxes that weren't visible unless you crawled under the desk? Not to mention that he had no right to wad up and throw away something I was saving! There was just something wrong about that entire situation. But, I'm being the good girl and still trying to do what I was told.

Now there was a lot more going on than this safety walk-thru, like ugly emails to me for no apparent reason (ie he cc'd me on a meeting notice so that I could secure a room for the meeting. I responded with a tentative acceptance - so that it would be on my calendar and I would know where he was but my time would reflect me as available if anyone else needed me during that time. I never, for one second, thought I was invited to the meeting. Yet he sent me an email saying "You are not invited." Yeah, I knew that - and I replied and let him know that.). So it's been really hard on me. Yet, Thursday, when I felt sick to my stomach (and went home), I wasn't convinced it was the job. That is until I was still sick Friday until about 3:00 p.m. (you know, when it's too late for me to go into the office that day) and felt fine until I got up this morning and thought about having to go in to work with him. Which is how things were in my old group. I so don't want to go back to those days. Towards the end I was throwing up in my office trash can on a regular basis.

But anyway, being off for a day and a half gave me some time to think. That printer he wanted me to move is pretty big. If I moved it to where he told me to move it, it was going to create additional problems for me. So first thing this morning I went into SCG's office (he's away on business) and borrowed his tape measure. The printer is too big to move where he wants me to move it...it would create a safety hazard if I moved. And I told him so, so it gets to stay where it is. Yay!

Oh, but when I got back into the office today, he'd turned off my radio and moved something off my desk. They were scheduled to move the printer on Friday but I'd emailed them, asking to change the date since I wasn't there. I thought the stuff that was moved was because the computer people had come by and it was in their way. But no, Nazi boss had moved it...he told me so. He said, "did you notice I moved your thing?" I said, "yes, did you notice I moved it right back?"

Meanwhile I have an email in to HR, asking how many times he can refuse to let me post for other jobs. I don't think they want to put it in writing but I'm going to press them until they do because I've worked for a Nazi boss from hell before and I just don't think I can survive another tour of duty with another one.

Ahhh, the joys of the new job.

The Search for Mr. Right

Who knew that finding a suitable date would be so difficult? It's funny because when you complete all the questions you have they give you this thing to fill out on how important each thing is. For example, you give an age range and then you have to mark whether it's really important, somewhat important or not important at all. Only, I found out that it really is important how you mark those things because well, if, like me, you mark things as not that important (because I didn't want to come off as inflexible and rigid), they look outside of your criteria - way outside.

And that resulted in me receiving a bunch of "flexible matches", which I later found out meant they didn't match my criteria but, since I was so flexible and all, they thought they'd throw them in there. I kept getting matches for men over 60. I mean, there's really nothing wrong with that but that's not really who I want to date, you know? So, I went in and made a point of changing my age range in the system. Yet I still kept getting these matches of men in their 60s. This was still before I realized that I was getting these matches because I wanted to be "flexible".

Now, the shortest distance you can list is 30 miles, which frankly, for me - regardless of gas prices - is more than I want to travel to date someone. I don't even want to split the distance there...it's just too far for me. However, I had noted on the questionnaire that distance wasn't that important to me.

It wasn't until they gave me at least two matches that were - get this - in another state that it started to be important to me. Because, let's be clear, I don't live near any state line. That's when I made a point of figuring out why I was getting so many matches that weren't within my criteria. On the other hand, now that things are more important, I'm not getting as many matches.

Oh well, I still have 56 open matches - four of which are in the "communicating" stage. There have been 59 matches closed out by either me or the other party. And all of my "I'm not sure" feelings have lead to a closure, one way or another.

The last closing was on Beverly, age 50. I closed based on the physical distance between us but I'm wondering if I don't need to go back and check the importance of the gender of the match..... ;)